Hares : Spitting Balls, Buried Pleasure
Where: Big Al’s
Big Rock: Fit for a Queen!
Religious Advisor: Her Majesterbeater
Attendance: 27
Spittin Balls and Buried Pleasure setting a trail. Buried providing parental guidance on trail setting? Shiiiiit… And that’s what they set up the trail to be – Shitty Trail. Even marking it with the letter “S” and announcing the same in the circle. What it wasn’t?… A Shitty Trail of course. Yes, true to hash form, what is said is never what is led, or in this case, marked. Lots of trails using direction changes, hairpin turns up and back fence lines, hovering around enough school grounds, playgrounds, and athletic fields to make any hasher with a restraining order nervous. Down alleyways where treasures abounded, and pathways that confounded. No Spittin’ Balls and Buried Pleasure, if Shitty Trail is what you were going for, you missed the mark and laid yourself a nice one! (Trail that it is!)
Hot Cheeks took over the confusing trail, and promptly acted as tour guide to a group of hashers… on a tour to absolutely nowhere. (Well, actually back to where they started)
Flashpants found herself in a scary alley. Thinking quick, she grabbed a disguise. A bag. A bag to put over her head. But wait! The hash then realized, that’s no bag! That was a pillowcase laying in the trash in the alley…near big Al’s!… Ewww!
Baby and White Balls were caught leading Pink Meat to an alley, sexual offense averted. For now.
While apparently the Moses of the Hash is now Hardly (he has a following… some would say stalking), it was actually Dastardly that ran in the front all hash, and earned the FRB honours
Running Dry held the FRB title for a few seconds, exclaimed “Look! I’m an FRB!” and then lost it at the very next corner. Probably because while all the other Harrierettes scowled at the gangsta kids driving by wolf whistling and saying they’d be coming back later, Running Dry smiled from ear to ear, waved, and replied, “Ok! I’ll be here!” (The harrierettes ensured she was NOT still there later).
Auntie Frank wasn’t a FRB. Small wonder, as he was observed looking at naked pics of Knightstalker on Can You Hear Me Now’s phone.
Poor Shack Shock found herself after a demanding run in No Beer Land… she couldn’t find the regroup OR the On-In! Thankfully she was rescued, and brought to the On In where she was able to rehydrate after her ordeal.
On a long weekend with the hash buzzing for a lengthy time at the regroup and the weather damn near perfect, all was another day in almost hash paradise! “What could be better?” a harrierette mistakenly asked. Well, funny she should ask! For as has become her custom, Queen Elizabeth flew in to visit her subjects on anti-independence day. (Otherwise known by non-Americans as Victoria Day). For an old gal who doesn’t live nearby, she sure knows a lot about our kennel! It’s a well-known fact among hashers that Lizzy is one hashin’ crazy bi-iitch! And her favourite hash kennel is none other than Calgary’s own!
Well there she was (I’m told – I have missed seeing her every year), and she was dealing out the religion royally to the whole hash that made it out!
Shakesbeer was struggling with counting the down down beers. And by struggling, I mean it took him 4 times to count to 20. Math is hard, but I think he knew the importance of the occasion, and was nervous about shorting the Queen?
Abandoned Pussy announced pre-ceremony that she wasn’t driving and she should be downed as many times possible
Who would the Queen call up first? Why the hare’s of course! After downing them she dubbed them royal choir, and just to show the Hundred Years War may be over, but not forgotten, she called Princess Monkey Spanker to continue setting the record straight of who serves who… PMS overshadowed the Queen, busting into a rendition of Do-Re-Mi that the whole room wished could have been recorded!
Word was that Pink Meat was hungry enough to eat a dinosaur. Luckily one was found for her… in an alley… on the gravel… and landed in her drink to marinade. It worked! She wasn’t hungry the rest of the night!
Can You Hear Me Now thought he wasn’t hungry after hearing all of Twisted Sister’s birthing stories… but somehow managed to eat an entire pizza anyway
Flashpants ignored hash royalty when she ignored the “scheduled” R.A. for the night, even when he kindly waved to her before the run. The Queen was not impressed and royally downed her.
A special request by the harrierettes to call up Comes and Goes for royal questioning and ask “Where’s Nick?” Comes and Goes responded he went back home. It got quiet for a while…
Blue Balls was called on the royal carpet by the Queen and asked point blank if he was a monk, hence the silence was perhaps a vow. It is believed he may have breathed a reply not fit for hearing, but we’ll never know, as its Blue Balls, and he has learned to communicate without talking… like a dolphin.
Ménage a Trois … Oh Menage! You’re allure is so great, I can’t even remember what you did – I’m bedazzled! But you did something and it was royally rotten I’m sure
Pump n Schwing was royally chastised and told to start doing some stupid things
No deed goes unnoticed. Especially the creepy voyeurism of an “old man” Frogodile Hunter gave her Fish Shit deservedly to King Shit for his work on the camera and comments on asses and tits
Skewbic Hare, Mucky Dip, and Tight Lips arrived from the GT, which was a good thing, because our Hash Mattress is a complete cycling freak and was dying 20 deaths wondering how it all turned out this year. It was also a good thing because the hash was able to toast Skewbic Hare with the last remaining hash down down beer! I think I saw a tear in his eye. He must have been so happy for us!
On-On!
Master Beater