#1789 – Valentine’s Run

Hares : Bare Down There and Granny Panties
Where: Rose and Crown, 1503 – 4th Ave SW
Big Rock: for Lovers… Beer Lovers
Attendance: 29

Valentine's Day

See photos from the Run

Hares Grannie Panties and Bare Down There really showed their stuff in setting the trail.  Love hearts adorned the sidewalks including 17th Avenue, and broken hearts greeted the would be FRB’s that ran the wrong way.   Hardley went wrong in a bad way, and was not seen until the On In.  Hashing is unforgiving at times, and poor Hardley was kicked to the curb after chasing (sorry – “running after”) a reportedly very cute runner that turned out not to be hasher.  So it goes.

A rat, squirrel, or some assumed to be, mammal roamed around the inside of the circle, adding an edgy element before the start.

Roaring Nancy celebrated his 200th run with a large-sized Down Down

American transplant Master Beater, acting as Religious Adviser, utilized his covert “monitoring network” (every American has one), to intercept Valentines messages sent from various Hashers and Harriettes to one another.

The messages as intercepted, though as gruesome and sickening as our kennel, read as follows:

Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.

Roses are red, violets are blue.
If he’s busy on Valentines Day,
the side chick is you!

Wear nothing, not even your bikini
I’ve spilled some gin on my weenie.
I thought this uncouth,
So I’ve added vermouth,
Would you like me to slip you a martini?

Twinkle Twinkle little star.
You should know what you are.
And once you know what you are.
Mental hospital is not so far.

I love you baby,
It’s you I have really missed
But all that time you were away,
I was sleeping with your sis!

Roses are red
Carnations are white
I’ve been to the chemist
how about it tonight!

Roses r crap,
Violets are wanky,
Oooh I’ve just come,
Pass me a hanky.

Violets are blue,
Roses are thorny,
Be my Valentine,
Because I’m horny!

You were so distant
Now we’re as one
Thanks to some duct tape
And a glue gun

 Roses are red.
Sex is elementary.
Let’s call up a friend,
And try double entry!

 Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Zippers are tough
But I have faith in you.

 Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What I thought was vaseline,
Turned out to be glue!

I wish I was your mirror
Hanging on your wall
Cause every time you get undressed
Guess who’d see it all?

 I love you almighty
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie
Now don’t be mistaken
Don’t be misled,
I mean on a clothes line
And not in the bed!

 I wish I were a bar of soap, lying in your hand,
So every time you took a shower, I’d see the promised land…

On On!

Master Beater