#1777 – Birthday Beauties

Hare : Dementia, Mucky Dip & Frigid Beaver
Where: Joyce on 4th
Big Rock: You’re as young as who you feel
Attendance: 39


It was a celebration of magnificent proportions! Everybody who was nobody was there. Amidst the decorations, games, cake and beer you could find the Birthday Beauties celebrating in style. Dementia, Frigid Beaver and Running Dry know how to throw a party! Conspicuously absent was Mucky Dip… or was she? Has anyone ever seen Mucky and Skewbic Hair in the same room? Either way, Skewbie’s impersonation (complete with pointy hat boobs and a tiara) was spot-on and we barely noticed that Mucky wasn’t there. Somehow overlooked was poor Frogodile whose birthday was a mere 11 days away.

To start the party, we were provided with grow-sticks, blow-sticks and paddles. The blow-sticks were a disappointment to say the least, and inexperienced hashers blew and blew to no avail. Ménage à Trois was seen teaching Baby and Gomer Piles how to use their paddles. Unfortunately in the excitement that followed, Baby lost one of his balls and consoled himself by sadly blowing his horn in the corner. Undeterred, Ménage set about showing Spitting Balls how to activate his grow-stick with a good whacking. Spitting Balls was later found mumbling something about an STD. Feeling saddened by her inability to impart her knowledge of grow-sticks and paddles, Ménage à Trois tried to throw herself in front of a bus. Thankfully, Pyro, ever the gentleman, made sure everyone else made it back to the bar in one piece.

As with every party, there are those that are determined to ruin the fun:

  • Blue Balls was accused of being the sexiest. Or was it sexist?
  • Party poopers Dr Fill and Buried Pleasure tried to bore everyone with their incessant babbling about gloves and shirts.
  • Bare Down There told lies about the innocent virgin Rob in an attempt to punish him for something that was likely her fault. This behaviour can only be blamed on her lack of a positive role model (ahem… Granny Panties).
  • Roaring Nancy and Anne brought a beer cooler that smelled like after-birth – apparently this is a family tradition for birthday celebrations. Ew.
  • There were also several uninvited party-crashers… Sonia, Marg, Joel… who the heck are these people?

The festivities wrapped up with Thunder Tits pounding down shots in honour of her 400th run (gheeze, get a life). Then with Tighty Whitey’s blessing it was on to cake!

On on!

~ Froggie