1802 – Get a Job You Lazy Bums

Hares : Comes & Goes, Skewby, Rubbermade, Roaring Nancy
WhereBally’s Bar & Grill, 2905 – 14 St SW
Big Rock: It’s not for kids!
Religious Advisor: Dementia
Attendance: 41

Geezer Crossing

Old people and babies have so much in common!  They both like their food mushed up or liquid, both crave attention, neither get sex anymore, and they both have all the time they want to do whatever they feel…  Only in this case, our old people are underemployed and desperate for something, anything to do… maybe even set a trail for the hash!

So it became that Rubbermade, Skewbic Hare, Roaring Nancy and Comes and Goes set the way for the hash.  Clearly a trail set by someone with LOTS of time on their hands.  A long trail, with looooong check backs, including one with a playground marked at its terminus, and a “PG” mark just in case you weren’t sure what it was you were viewing.

That particular check back motivated Master Beater, drunk with the power of being selected into the choir with Hardly and Daisy Duke, to belt out “Shitty Trail” to the miffed chagrin of the hares

Ms. Dementia (who in a very appropriate demonstration in the circle when she paused to try to remember her own name), served out the very much needed Religion to the Hash.

We had another blessed visit from Prom Night Dumpster Baby, and a return of archive Canine Jelly (we think, she’s not very sure she is herself). Comes and Goes’ spawn Nick, with friend Alex came along to show that cowboy boots and deck shoes not only belong together, they belong hashing together!

With the hash getting served by the hares, apparently our kennel has taken it upon itself to serve itself…

Mucky Dip “found” a purse and returned it to the rightful owner (minus the cash is the rumour heard)

Not Too Deep decided she should have special privileges and stopped mid-trail to use some poor shop owner’s washroom

Cocktail decided it was a great idea to serve himself some ice cream while waiting for Not Too Deep

Can You Hear Me Now gave something to someone.  It doesn’t matter what it was, because he changed his mind and took it back anyway

Skewbic Hare served himself high end beer.  Apparently having no job pays WAY better than anyone could have imagined??

Shakesbeer either served himself to, or “picked up” a fancy new pair of shoes…  Dementia thought they were slippers worthy of drinking from, which he did

Shirley served it up both ways

Sheila served herself to some pump and schwing

_____ couldn’t bear to just run along with the rules, and instead brought along technology to serve advantage

Shakesbeer showed up at the playground serving up his 1 inch worm to everyone

Daisy Duke serves no one.  To prove it, he flipped off Master Beater and Hardly with both hands from across the road when he realized they had used him to find the check back

Tight Lips and Hot Cheeks considered serving themselves up to a hot runner along the trail

Nick and Alex paced themselves…  only helping themselves to one drug at a time

A new name was served upon a poor unnamed hasher.  I wish I could remember the new name, but alas, its not to be.

Finally, in recognition of the night where the lazy bums who really need to get a job set a trail where the arrows couldn’t even be relied upon, the hares were downed for following what appears to be a new mantra for the Calgary kennel, “Helping you help yourself”

The hash helped themselves to all the free beer left at the end, and I helped myself out of there.

Practically every week I write it, only to write it again…  How could it get any worse?!


Master Beater