2225 – May ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵃⁱˡ ᵇᵉ Long Run

Hares: Dastardly and Virgin Hare Kirsten
Where: Edworthy Park South Parking Lot
On-In: JJ’s Neighbourhood Pub, Calgary, AB
RA: Karate Klit
Attendance: 17

In an attempt to educate the next generation of hashers, Dastardly volunteered to pop Kirsten’s haring cherry. It’s a good thing because Dastardly is one of our very best hares. His trails are always full of surprises and delight. He likes to keep things fresh and interesting and take the pack where no hasher has gone before. Tonight’s trail was no exception.

He promised us a “longer than average” treat and delivered. My CI reports that there was a lot of going in and out of the bush, and getting wet in the process. Hot Cheeks begs that everyone check for parasites that people may have caught from this bush action.

Skewbic Hare and King Shit are now too old to do a trail without stopping, so they veered off true trail and did a pit stop at Angel’s Café for hydration (and probably a wee pee break; who are they kidding?).

It is said that Skewb tried to pay Hash Cash with fake cash?? (please note that your scribe is a banker these days, and we don’t joke about counterfeit currency, money laundering and possible financing of terrorism! ) In my eyes, this very serious offense is definitely hash shittable.

The hares provided the pack with a Turkey/Eagle split (or – in the words of the hares – an “Exploratory/Tourist” split. There were only three Turkish “tourists” (ha!) but they claim that the trail wasn’t shorter, it was just dryer. We’ll take it.

The trail did take hashers over train tracks, about which Mucky Dip has mild PTSD. Not because of an irrational fear of getting hit by a train, but because of a very rational fear (and recollection) of getting caught by the Canadian Pacific Police Service and handed a $600 fine (effin fascists!!).

No-name Kirsten may have cum 9 times and even hared once but she is still nameless. Geee, we’ve been waiting so long for this, it’d better be a dooooozy. It’s time for Frogodile Hunter – name finder and Bapstizer© extraordinaire – to make an appearance. In the meantime, Kirsten will introduce herself as her number of runs. Next time, she’ll be “TEN”.

Karate Klit RA’d and proved that she is still unable to control her inner Jim Carrey (see photo above). The struggle is real. One day at time, KK. Hang in there.

Mucky Dip, the fairest of them all. ?

On On!
PMS (with tales from Hot Cheeks and photos by the Skewb)