Hares : Shack Shock, Lof-T Prancer
Where: Pizza Bob’s, 2610 Kensington Road NW
Big Rock: Great with pizza!
Attendance: 25
Shacky and Lof-T’s Shocking Prance
If you stayed in the bar, or just stayed away to watch the World Juniors, you missed a fun trail and hash set by Shack Shock and Lofty Prancer out of Pizza Bob’s.
Lof-T Prancer and Shack Shock were downed for their effort, after which Lofty was given a chair of distinction at the front of the room where the substitute R.A., Master Beater, could keep a watchful eye on him. Seems the shifty Lofty has been up to some shifty stuff and keeping all of it from Beater… to be continued…
Dr Phil had outfitted for the occasion in his fine urban alpine tourist puffy coat, before changing into an equally trendy set of hiking boots (indoor use only), and puffy vest (for indoor fashion). He was as “Midwest Urbane Hipster Meets the Mountain” as it gets, sans handlebar mustache.
Some gal who called herself Sticky Lips, (they tell me she is an archive) showed up and then yelled at the hash later when she found the words “fire truck” had been used replacing the proper words in her favorite song. “But C&%$ is my favourite word!!!” exclaimed Ms. Lips. Word to Knightstalker and Pink Meat… it might have slipped out that you two were responsible, and something might have been mentioned about handing down judgements… might be a good idea to lay low for awhile?
The flask of Jaeger was passed and nothing but vapors remained, the conversations were jovial, even if the temperature was not.
Goes Both Ways explained that he was in street clothes, because Frigid Beaver was frigid. I don’t know the price of eggs in China, nor am I a doctor, somehow I’m supposed to know why that makes Goes Both Ways unable to Hash… but I confess I don’t.
By now, Blue Balls had had enough of the pre-run shitshow, and made his point known in the circle. No screwin’ around, this is full-on hashin’ folks!
Dementia, Tight Lips, Man o Pause, and Can You Hear Me Now were Front Running Bastards of the run. I know…. There’s really no explaining, it’s… complicated. Skewbic Hair, Hardley, and Daisy Dukes followed marks… and instead reverted to using their beer-dar to locate the re-group. In the end all made the regroup at Shack Shocks Shiggy Shack Out Back, where Tight Lips sneered a harrierette sneer at the hashers collected around the regroup cooler, knocked down a second beer to their one, and was off on her way to the On In. Dastardly ran directly to the regroup, and then directly home apparently – no one heard from him again.
Man O Pause showed minimal sympathy to the way ward hashers, asking where they were, and quickly pointing out that although he thought about the missing hashers, there was beer…. And, well…. There was beer. He was downed.
Roaring Nancy pulled the ole Disappearo/Reappearo, and offered no comment. Aliens?
Can You Hear Me Now was penalized for hazing the less talented and slower Master Beater, by taunting him early in the run, and then driving the stake through his heart at the regroup. What a heartless, competitive man he has become.
Hardley was brought forward with apologies that the self-centred hash had accepted his gifts of down-downs, beautiful Christmas songs, and grabs of his sack, yet no one had gifted poor Hardley only 3 nights prior to Christmas. The wrong was righted, and we think he’ll come again.
King Shit was recognized for just being King Shit. Which made him happy… until the Hash sang hurray to the horse’s ass… after which he was not!
Daisy Dukes proved his loyalty to the hash, imitating Dagwood Bumstead’s Daisy by waiting at each mark for the hash to catch up and exclaiming proudly, “On-on! On-on!”
In a tender, moving moment, the hash sent off Pyro for his annual migration to Singapore… with a heartfelt fuck off.
Russia didn’t win by the way – for those who didn’t come to the Hash, I could have told you that, and you could have saved all the time watching to find out!
In the end, Lof-T’s summary of what he had learned from the time-out given to him in the front of the room, is that Master Beater apparently is a good candidate as someone who likes to babysit. Oh no – do not go there Lofty! The rest of you think about it, if you haven’t already figured it out….
ON-ON!
Master Beater