Category Archives: Run

RUN 2315 – Westward Ho(es) Set Trail

Hares: Liquor Lots(LL) and Oozy Pizzle Panties  (OPP)

Location: Reagle Beagle Neighbourhood Pub on 17th Ave. SW

5308 17 Ave SW, Calgary, AB T3E 6S6

RA: Skewbic Hair

Attendance: 30

The Beginning

Liquor Lots and OPP collaborated on a fine trail through the wilds of the western neighbourhoods. Strathcona Park, Christie Park are areas we have not been through in a while, so it was great to see some new terrain.

The run started from the Reagle Beagle Pub, 17th Ave. SW near Sarcee Trail. Located in a small strip mall, the pub was well set up to handle an invasion of loud, thirsty and hungry hashers. It was also wing night and they had a beer deal!

The hashers assembled “inside” to scout the place out.

Hashers getting ready to run!

The hash was marshalled out of the pub to circle up. The night was warm for the end of November and the parking lot was well lit. On-In sorted out the circle and went through the announcements and introductions. The hares were called in the describe to trail that they had set and the marks that were used.

Insane Bolt figuring things out
On-In leads the circle

The Trail

The hares had suggested that the marks may be challenging . Some sections are wilderness, in the dark, marked on trees, slippery and perhaps with some coyotes or cougars. Under bridge trolls are a possibility. We started in earnest, looking for the illusive marks. Some confusion prevailed until we figured out that we were heading over Sarcee Trail to the western neighbourhoods.

A couple of viewpoints provided great city vista’s, with the full moon for effect.

Navigating the paved pathways , neighbourhoods, then into the woods! The woods are scary in the dark. Who knows when the next cougar or coyote will find you and do you in. The trolls that live under the bridge are also a concern.


After sufficient trail blazing and chasing marks, we were rewarded with a regroup. A fine selection of refreshments was available for the group to enjoy.

A short walk back to the Reagle Beagle to get sorted for the down-downs. Just enough distance for a travelling beer.


Hump the Shark assigned the Religious Advisor duty to Skewbic Hair. A choir was appointed and the ceremonies commenced. Best choir ever…. Roaring Nancy and Booty Camp took the stage.

Skewbic Hair – RA, supported by Roaring Nancy and Booty Camp as Choir.

Down-Down for the hares. A great trail in the new terrain. They can set more like this anytime!

Happy Hares – LL and OPP

A number of offences and crimes were rewarded by with a down-down. Sometimes the details are illusive, but there was enough beer, cider songs and merriment to go around. On a sad note, one of our Calgary hashers has recently passed away. Hyena was very active with the group and set signature Rocky Mountain style trails in Griffith Woods. Recently relocated to Panama, he was here in the summer to check in. He will be missed.

Here are a couple of photos of some of the events.

With the down-downs complete, we are “on the piss”.

Scribed by : Skewbic Hair


Entertaining romp through Strathcona Park and Christie Park! Some registered 7.16 km.

RUN 2314- Pyro’s Burning Down the House Trail

Hares: Pyro

Location: 2202 Crowfoot Parade, Calgary, AB T2N 1N4

RA: Lying Sack of Shit

Attendance: 21

Celebration Time

The Beginning

Pyro has a significant birthday very close to the run date. As such, we are pleased that he stepped up to set trail in a fashion design to delight and confuse the hash runners. As your birth years increase, what is really important evolves. Setting a hash trail is one of those important things to do. As Pryo has a wealth of hash wisdom he likes to share, he did not disappoint with some of the most challenging marks we have seen in some time. More on that later.

The start point was the LRT parking lot near Scenic Acres/ Crowfoot. As we all know, you need an exacting pin point for the start location and a GPS, or you will not be able to find the run start. Thankfully, the map was good and hashers appeared in good numbers (21) to enjoy Pyro’s trail.

Apparently, there were even more things to celebrate. This run would be 69 for Karate Klit, eclipsed by Camshaft and 300 runs!

On-In ran the circle. Introductions were done and the celebrants acknowledged with special hats. Pryo went through the markings for the run. No surprises, no flagging, no playgrounds and no shiggy. If you find any of these, you are on your own!

The pack was released into the glow of the parking lot illumination to find the marks for the trail.

The Trail

Once we figured out the initial marks, the pack was off like a herd of turtles. Relying on the fast ones to find the true trail, Insane Bolt and Liquor Lots were valiant in identifying trails that were not the true trail.

There was some “check chicken” behavior as not all wished to be sucked into the false trail vortex. All was good until “the ravine”.

The marks near the ravine posed much reflection and confusion. It seemed that all trails lead to a false trail. Much back tracking and second guessing was in order and the pack fumbled around in an advanced state of confusion.

Eventually, one of the smarter hashers suggested that all marks may not be what they appear to be? You have to think past what the marks may indicated, and ask yourself “what was the hare really thinking?”

With clarity of thought, it was obvious that “that” check back was intended chicanery. The run continued, across the street and into the neighbourhoods where other well placed marks were positioned to be found.

Many sights of the impending Christmas season were also observed. It seems that not every has got the e-mail saying no Christmas decorations to be illuminated or inflated prior to December 1.

The Regroup

A 5 km run that took 8 km to actually run was now done, and there was much rejoicing when the regroup materialized. Dastardly was well equipped to handle the needs of the thirst hashers that had run further than the hare had intended.

All is well that ends well!

The On-In – Nottingham’s Pub

Nottingham’s Pub is a long established Silver Springs hang out. We inflicted ourselves on this establishment and they did not disappoint. Did I say “free” popcorn?

The ambiance has sort of a VLT and Sports Bar feel, with Calgary Flames trying to be victorious. We did not let this distract for the business at hand, the “down downs”.

Lying Sack of Shit was appointed as Religious Advisor. He leisurely collected tales from the trail and other meat for his performance of allegations, offences and awards.

Lying Sack of Shit armed with a beer and his note pad.

Beer Wenching was done to a very high standard by Liquor Lots. She took great pride in getting the levels of the glasses “even”, and well as artful display.

The half yard, honouring Camshaft’s 300th run, consumed a lot of the down-down beer based on volume. Size is important in some things, and beer glasses are one of them.

The ceremony begins. Choir of Hardly and Mmmmm Lady fingers get ready with the selection of song they will perform.

Preparing to look happy!

Pyro did a fine job as hare and was serenaded by the choir. At this point, I believe there was one song for all.

Various and sundry down-down’s were delivered to a selection of hashers who were recognized. We did have Batman as a basher. It has been a while since he has been out!

The big award was for Camshaft’s 300th Calgary run. A significant accomplishment that was duly rewarded. Camshaft ha been in beer drinking intensive training, ready to perform. He had arranged for transport home, so time to party like your 300!

Half yard preparation is a specialized task. The preparation involves some “handwork” and “temperature attainment”. Evidence of these tasks is presented here.

Not only was a half yard involved, but Camshaft got to wear a gold party hat, and received a “one-of-a-kind” vintage hash shirt to wear out in public. The training paid off, and Camshaft did justice to the half yard in record time!

Like my new shirt?

Video of this event is included here for all to enjoy

On the piss….

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Trail Map

Run 2312- Where is your Underwear?

Semper ubi, sub ubi

Hares: Tighty Whitey with assistance from Lying Sack of Shit

Location: Kilt and Caber Pub, Mackenzie Town SE

53 High St SE, Calgary, AB T2Z 0N2

RA: Roaring Nancy

Attendance: 19

The Regroup not to be missed!

The Story

Tighty Whitey stepped up to save the hash, once again. From a southern start point, close to Okotoks, the run was convened to start at the Kilt & Caber Ale House, the in wilds of Mackenzie Town SE. Who knew that people and communities existed at these southern latitudes? After tackling the traffic circle chaos on the way to the start, all was well. You just had to know where to park, and where the pub was to make this work. Thank Google!

The Beginning

GPS directions did not fail. The group of 19 enthusiastic hashers were present to enjoy the spectacle . Surprisingly, we had a new boot. Ernie lives in the area, and finally decided to determine what this drinking club with a running problem was all about. We have been working on Ernie recruitment through the TGIF sub group, and apparently we have had success! Welcome Ernie to the cult…. He also has a doggy companion, who was also welcome to the group.

Ernie the new boot, with dog and Roaring Nancy
Ernie, the new boot, with dog and Roaring Nancy. RN seems pleased!

The circle took form and the happy hashers were there in style. The weather was quite OK for this time of year, and the group were ready to challenge the trail.

Apparently, there was some complaining about Tighty Whitey’s las trail. Not enough marks….was the complaint. For this trail TW had conscripted Lying Sack of Shit (LSOS) to over mark the trail. As such, the amount of chalk that was deposited on the pathways and sidewalks was enough the have a material consequence in the world chalk supply. As evidence, the following marks were provided.

Most of the group had no idea what these marks were for.

The dumfounded looks can be seen on the faces of the harriers…. The pack was released to attempt to discover the marks that had been laid.

The Trail

After some level of confusion, the marks were found and the pack was off. Mackenzie Town has a pond on the community of Inverness. Who knew that you could feel like you were lost in Scotland without leaving Alberta. The smart hashers soon realized that we would be doing the big circle, with some playground distractions. Where to next?


After some confusing marks, whether it was Eagle and Turkey, or Easy and Tough, an option was offered for the trail to the regroup. The smart hashers had already figured this out and cut across to where the trail had to go. The unusual light display was like to beacon to the beer.

Could this be a sign?

The Down Down’s

A short distance from the regroup was the Kilt & Caber Ale House. They had a good space for us at the back of the pub where we could eat and perform the closing ceremonies.

Roaring Nancy was appointed Religious Advisor for the evening.

Roaring Nancy is ready….

His first task was to appoint a choir of Hardly, Mucky Dip and Slippy Thong.

The Choir

Roaring delivered a fine performance of accusation, stories and half truths. Quite entertaining, in a climate controlled environment.

The down-down complete, eating and socializing commenced. See if you can recognize these meals! On the piss!

The Trail (one version)

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Run 2311- Guy Fawkes & Girl Fox 69

A birthday run from VayKay Brew Company

Hares: Hung Loose and Ménage-à-Trois

Location: VayKay Brew Company, Garrison Green

2566 Flanders Ave SW Unit 300, Calgary, AB T3E 7H9

RA: Insane Bolt

Attendance: 27

Birthday Girl

The Story

We have an amazing story this week. Apparently, we have proof that you can reach a significant birthday, and the world is there to support you. The girl at the balloon shop asked if was a 96th birthday. The answer….. no.

Coincidentally, Guy Fawkes was busy on Ménage’s birthday as well! See the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 for details. A great combination of inspirational events.

The Beginning

Vaycay Brew Company is quite new on the scene. As such, parking is challenging. The smart ones that arrived early were able to park in front, then head into the pub to warm up. Ménage was sporting her digits with pride and anticipation. After a bit of fumbling around, the circle was formed and PMS got things rolling. Hung Loose and Ménage-à-Trois explained the marks and the pack was released

Circle from a Distance

The Trail

The pack dispersed in search of the marks. The level of confusion was apparent as the hares had been very frugal with the initial marks. Eventually, after Insane Bolt had exhausted all options, we found the trail that provided a fine tour of the Mount Royal University perimeter.


The secret regroup vehicle was posted within site of the bar. The group was quite spread out, as such, the walkers were there first. The FRB’s next, then finally the balance of the pack. A fine selection of refreshment was enjoyed, prior to the long trudge back to the bar for the closing ceremonies.

Regroup in full swing, waiting for the balance of the pack!


Insane Bolt was acclaimed as RA by Hump the Shark, after much cajoling at the regroup. As Mr. Bolt is new to the position, he was embellished with the finest RA finery to help him with his task!

The group settled down into eating mode. and waited patiently for the celebrations to commence. There was some troubling art work which caught the attention of the hashers. A revolt was averted!

If you look the part, the rest will naturally follow!

This Way says the RA

A fine choir was selected, with Lying Sack and Cock Tale providing a fine selection of suitable songs. The hares set a shitty trail, a number of transgressions were celebrated and the birthday girl was honoured multiple times. Apparently PMS has hatched a new hash shit, modelled after herself, and was successful in being the first recipient!

Birthday Girl

The Trail

A couple of opinions on where the run went.

On the piss…

Scribed by Skewbic Hair!

2308 – A Princess and a Strap-On

Hares: PMS and Strap-On Crampon
Where: Governors’ Pub

675 Acadia Dr SE, Calgary, AB T2J 0B8

RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 33

The Starting Circle

The Story

A fine trail was set by PMS and Strap-On Crampon. Weather was good as we have yet to see snow this fall. Darkness, however, is a thing as the set now sets before the run start. This will only get worse as we drift toward winter.

A good turn out of 33 people. The circle was conducted by On-In who got things rolling. Visitor Rumple Dickskin from Edmonton was welcome.

The radiant and talented tag seem of PMS and Strap-On has big plans for the hash. As evidenced by the size of their chalk, this was going to be a serious run.

Special features of the run included a “Pit Stop”, which mean extra beverages before the regroup! How much fun is that?

The Trail

The marks took us through the neighbourhoods of Willow Park and Maple Ridge. The effort that was put into challenging false trails did not disappoint the front runners. Much confusion was delivered as the marks delivered to streets, parks and back alleys. There was some evidence of the upcoming Halloween celebration, including this guy who was hung up in a tree.

Pit Stop

Friends of Strap On were volunteered to host the group for a Pit Stop. After beer was consumed, we honoured them with a song.

The Pit Stop was followed by a regroup prior to settling down into the pub for the on-in!


RA Coordinator nominated himself for the Religious Advisors duty. A choir was formed and the ceremony began.

Many offences were called out and rewarded with a down-down. Some of the action is shown here.

Of note, it was a milestone run tonight. PMS has achieved 400 runs and was duly rewarded with a suitable trophy. I sure she will find a suitable location to display this fine piece of art.

On the piss….

Skewbic Hair – Scribe

Run Information

Around 7 km .

2307 – Thanksgiving Feast Run

Hares: Hardly and Twisty
Where: Hardly and Twisty’s Place

104 Bermuda Way NW, Calgary, AB

RA: Dastardly
Attendance: 16

What you missed…..

The Story

For all those Hashers that chose to travel to warmer climes on the Thanksgiving Day weekend, we can report you missed the warmest weekend on record. The +26 C temperatures, brilliant sunshine, and perfect running conditions means you missed the best Thanksgiving Run and Feast ever. The select group that chose to come and play were not disappointed.

The group arrived to settle into pre run refreshments in the garden area of the run start location. We had visitors from Mexico, long lost hashers, and new people to compliment the regulars!

Hashers gathered on the driveway of Dirty Dancer, who conveniently lives across the street from Hardly/Twisty, and offered his pavement as a starting point for the trail.

Happy hasher who have no clue what is in store for them.

In the absence of any current hashmasters, Liquor Lots took charge and conducted the circle. As the Past Master, her organizational skills were still sharp!

Liquor Lots in Action!

A difficult task as it was almost too nice to run. However, out of respect for the hares who had invested countless hours setting a challenging trail for both the runners and the walkers, the group was “off”

The Trail

The trail was marked primarily in “T”, symbolizing the turkey we were all there to enjoy. The oppressively warm weather meant light clothing with not a down vest in sight on any of the runners. The blinding sun was reminiscent of crossing a vast desert. Endless blocks of marks, leaves, pathways and and overabundance of Halloween decorations adorning the lawns of Beddington and Sandstone communities.


Eventually, after al the false trails were explored and no more “T”‘s were to be found, the pack was rewarded with the regroup. A find selection of cool libations and fellowship was enjoyed by all.

Down Downs and Feasting

After a satisfying regroup, the pack reassembled in the garden backyard of the Hardly/Twisty mansion to conduct the closing ceremonies.

The usual list of offences and charges were delivered to the unsuspecting group. Karate Clit and Hash Test Dummy were selected for choir duties and did a fine job. Here is an taste of what transpired.

Of note, was a hashers birthday…. On the day! Liquor Lots is now one year older and her significant day was celebrated by the group! Like fine wine, things get better with age.

I believe she is revealing that she is 24….


What happens at the feast, stays at the feast. Epic amount of turkey, dressing, vegetables, desert, wine and merriment were had by all. Those that were there know how good it was!

Best Thanksgiving Feast Run ever!

On On Scoobie

Run Route (for those interested)

2306 – T&R Orange Shirt Run

Hares: Hump the Shark
Where: Courtyard Pub, Calgary, AB

RA: Booty Camp
Attendance: 26

The Story

A fine trail was delivered by Hump the Shark to entertain the hash. In the spirit of Truth and Reconciliation, the runners were encouraged to wear something orange.

The group formed in the North East of Crescent Heights neighbourhood, at the Fiddlers Courtyard, after hunting for appropriate parking. The circle formed and the new Hashmatress, PMS, took charge.

PMS is the New Hash Mattress, supported by On-In… The new regime!

Good attendance and we had a new boot! Rowena, who has connections through the secret ski club, courtesy of Hot Cheeks.

Hump the Shark described the marks for the run, indicating that there were three T&R features to find. The pack muddled off and eventually found the trail, through the Crescent Heights with great views of the city.

PMS sees something going on in that apartment!
Hum the Shark
Waiting for Hashers to find his trail…

We eventually found the trail that lead us through the neighbourhood, which did have some elevation changes. The problem with downhill is there is usually a corresponding uphill. The Reconciliation Bridge was traversed over to the south side of the Bow River.

Happy Hashers crossing the bridge….

East Village and Fort Calgary were explored. The new site for the T&R park was observed at the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers!

As darkness settled in, the run continued back over the Bow River to the North Side. Much random trail tracking, with the requisite “false trail” at the top of the stairs in Bridgeland.

Thankfully, for those that ran the alternate trail, the regroup was found without having to give up the elevation achieved from the stair workout. Much mirth and merriment was had for those that were present. Apparently, our new boot was not aware of the regroup, and headed back to the bar. She was educated and made it back for the fun and refreshments!

Regroup with a view!

Finally, back to the bar, refreshments and food were obtained, and the down down’s commenced through the fine work of our RA, Booty Camp. The new boot was acknowledged, Hung Loose finally made 100 runs, and any many transgressions were rewarded with a beverage and a song. Here is a collage of some of the misgivings…..

Of note, is that this date was the wedding anniversary of some hashers who felt it was important to support the club and drink beer on there special day! 24 years of marital bliss….

Skewbic Hair and Mucky Dip celebrating in style…


Your scribe, Skewbic Hair!

2304 – Daisy Duke’s Dilatory Delight

Hares: Daisy Duke
Where: Bella Roma Pizza, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 26

Daisy kindly offered to hare tonight’s trail when no one else had stepped up. No details of this trail surfaced until the 11th hour. It turns out it had slipped Daisy’s mind, twice.

The hare did mark his trail on Sunday evening but he ended up having to live hare anyway, as his marked trail got washed away by the last minute downpour.

Trail was lovely. Daisy took us in and out of leafy back alleys. Towards the end, the pack intersected the beginning of the trail and – following the call of beer – completely by-passed the last kilometer.

Archive Rag Head came out of the wood work and brought his whole family with him. Hasher “Not Ready” is clearly “not ready” to hash regularly but he showed up tonight and brought a Sex Convict with him. Sex Convict is – if I remember correctly – visiting from… Lagos, Nigeria?

On On!