Category Archives: Special Event

2300 – White Dress Run

Hares: Hot Quicky and Slow Clap
Where: Inglewood, Calgary, AB
RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 18

The Calgary Hash saved itself for run 2300 (it went straight from 2299 to 2301, in past weeks). This is why it was able to wear white for this special event. Our hares organized a fantastic pub crawl/trail that took us through Inglewood, the Beltline, Stephen Ave, the East Village and back to Inglewood. We had many beer station on route, to keep our fluid levels up. Trail was – after all – nearly 12k long… On trail we saw three separate weddings and even managed to be featured in one of the newlyweds’ official photoshoot.

Trail was expertly set in such a way that runners and walkers came together at the exact same time at nearly every regroup.

We had a solid contingent of noobs, some walkers and some runners. Newbie Nicole proudly announced that the white runners she was sporting were fresh out of the box that morning. Tsk tsk tsk (though the fault is all Hot Quickie’s, as she should have shared Hashing Faux-Pas 101 with her guests.

At least the virgins were all (appropriately) wearing white dresses, which is more than can be said of Dastardly. We’ll forgive him as he made all the jell-O shots and drove the beer station wagon around.

Cock Tale was unanimously voted fairest of them all, with the prettiest dress.

Hump kindly gave PMS his dirty monkey to spank.

If you weren’t there because you had “better things to do”, it was your loss. You missed an epic run. If you weren’t there because you had Covid, we missed you (but don’t worry, your husband was loud for the both of you).

On On!
PMS (This scribe needs a break from scribing. Please come forth and take this on 馃檪 )

2302 – HHHHike… Rogers Passsout

Hares: King Shit, et Mr Peeeeeenut
Where: A.O. Wheeler Hut, Glacier National Park
RA: King Shit
Attendance: 14 (including muggles/visitors)

No images have surfaced for this special event.

The trail wove through the demolished foundations of a gand old CP hotel and into the woods to a “meeting of the waters” (whatever that means). A live-but-well-rested hare (Mr Peeeeeeenut) waited in a Muskoka chair with liquid treasures for the hashers to enjoy.

Cock Tale has reported another hasher exposing themself (full back, not full frontal).

2292 – STAMPEDE HASH CAMP OUT 2023

Hares: Cam Shaft and Stool Stuffer
Where: The Rinaldi Estate, CNP, AB
RA: AP?
Attendance: a bunch o’people

This year again, Boss Hog (Hot Cheeks Sr) allowed us rowdy group to squat at his property for a weekend of merriment (debauchery?) and hashing (athleticism?), in that order.

The hares and some devoted hashers went ahead and scouted trail. They made sure to test the quality of the beer in the area. It seems to have met expectations.

Some Edmontonians kindly joined our festivities, and happily took part in the shot ski, the “ice bucket challenge”, and the sleeve too. A “Cone of Shame” is featured in photos but it appears that our guests did not do anything shameful enough to warrant that kind of punishment.

The ice bucket (or whatever it is called) was a treat for the eyes (in some cases):

Only one individual did something so worthy of reprimand that they were awarded a down down with the Sleeve *and* the Cone of Shame.

Tighty Whitey?

Special mention to Hardly, who is clearly the *master* sleeve-drinker [insert cup-drop]

Trail must have been beautiful, judging by the photos.

Fun was had by all:

I take that back:

I doubt this little guy had fun.

And Skewb decided to bring sexy back:

On On!
PMS

2289 – Canada Day Run

Hares: “Special Guest Hares”
Where: Big Al鈥檚 Bar & Grill, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 18 (16 + two 陆 pints)

Oh Can of Beer
I hold within my hand
Tall, slim and cold
Beloved throughout Hashland
With foaming heads
We see thee rise
Ales, Lagers, Draughts and Stouts
From locals to imported brews
We cannot do without
Hares keep our beers
Smooth, chilled and cheap
Oh can of Beer
We run the Hash for thee
Oh can of Beer
We run the Hash for thee!

On this Canada Day, Hardly came up with a wonderful idea. The “Special Guest hares” were none other than us! This was a pick-up hash were one volunteer live hares the beginning of trail. If (when) he/she gets “caught”, the catcher becomes the hare and so on.

Despite tropical temperatures, we managed to run close to 6k. Dastardly kindly brought jello shots and ice creams for the regroup, as well as his legendary Beergarita and warm mystery swill!

路 Maple – for once – was able to stay for down downs and he got a down down for his 434th run (in lieu of all the milestone runs he didn’t stick around to get his down down for). It suggested (by me) that he get the 400th run award right after PMS (me) gets it, so that she (I) doesn’t have to store it in her (my) condo.
路 Rashy Bush was noted for her excellent fashion sense in sporting a “French Run” shirt. It’s the little black dress of running shirts; it works for every occasion, if I say so moi-m锚me.

On On!
PMS

2283 – 83-23: 40th Anniversary Run

Hares: Hardly, Twisted Sister
Guest Hare: Hash Test Dummy
(yes, that’s right Hash Test. I too am splitting hares)
Where: 2716 16 St SE Calgary, AB
On-In: Cold Garden Brewing, Calgary, AB
What: Run starting from the run #1 starting point,
followed by a picnic and libations.
RA: On In/Dastardly
Attendance: 41

40 years ago, a couple of accountants changed the face of the Calgary r*nning and drinking scene by starting their own chapter of the Hash House Harriers. Here we are, 2282 runs later, celebrating 4 decades of uninterrupted weekly Monday night trails.

The CH3 was founded by Mike “Oombala” Carr and other accountants, mainly from Clarkson Gordon (now Ernst & Young). “Oombala” got his Hash “training” in Jakarta, Indonesia.

Their first run was on May 30, 1983; starting from The Portuguese Society of Calgary, 2716 – 16th Street S.E., Calgary. There were 15 people at Calgary’s first run and the Hares were Mike Carr and Mike Manderson. Mike Carr now lives (but no longer Hashes) in Houston, Texas. Mike Manderson lives in Aberdeen, Scotland and also no longer Hashes. Stuart “On-In” Crichton is the only hasher left who was at the first run

Today, the hares made us start from the original starting point of run #1. They took us around Ramsay/Inglewood, through grassy patches riddled by gophers. Trail was under 5K and ended near Pearce Estate Park. Unfortunately, Dastardly dropped the balls and forgot to bring the beers to the regroup!

The Hash Gods blessed us with great sunny weather and kindly waited until the end of the picnic to start the drizzling.

Around 40 hashers gathered for this special anniversary run, including two last minute visitors who normally hash in Australia. They are experienced hashers and commented that despite having hashed 5 continents, this was their first time penetrating a gopher hole. Other visitors include Dark Side of the Moon and Bubble Boy from Edmonton. Archives were Krusty, Whale Wanker and Coq Titty.

Visitors:

On On!
PMS

2278 – Lay’em Memorial Run

Hare: Dastardly
Where: Cat ‘n Fiddle, Calgary, AB
RA: Skewbic Hair
Attendance: 50!

For this important and momentous event, our hare changed the rules a bit.

This week, trail was no secret. We were aiming for Lem’s house(s) via Queen’s Park Cemetery. Dastardly promised us a long one.

Only a few check backs were set on this special run to allow for extra running/ beer credits (the official exchange rate is 1 mile = 1 beer).

We had an amazing turnout of hashers and plenty of muggles too. People came from far and wide to commemorate our dearest Lem. Whale Wanker came from Lethbridge, Lost in Space from the Hat and Tommy TwoFinger came all the way from Coronation! Flash Pants came from Montreal, although it is said she was in town on business.

The walkers in front of Lem’s last project.

Run started promptly at 7pm too allow for everyone to be back in time for the live entertainment at the bar.

Tim Huss

A slideshow was put together with 293 photos of Lem! Here are 9 of the best:

2261 – New Year’s Tacky Formal

Hares: On In
Where: Weaselhead Bar and Grill, Calgary, AB
What: The hash’s yearly black tie running event
RA: Hardly (I think)
Attendance: 19

Like every year, hashers emerged in a drunken haze to run amidst a group of their peers in black tie(tes). It is the closest thing CH3 has to a red carpet event.

THE BEST DRESSED. The secret to make it on the “best dressed” list is accessorizing. See below:

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Like, come on… did you even try?

Skewb at least redeemed himself by taking and posting photos of the event.

On On!
PMS

2248 – Thanksgiving Day Afternoon Run

Hares: Hardly and Twisted Sister
Where: The Hares’ House, Beermuda Way NE, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 27

Hardly and Twisty, on Thanksgiving Day
We lift our cups to you and say:
We give you thanks for all you’ve done
Especially for the gift of run
For beauty in nature, which we hashed through
For suds and shiggy, and orange food too
For being hosts and hares extraordinaire
These are the blessings you graciously share.
So today we offer this poem of praise
And we’ll drink in your honour until we’re in a daze.

Indeed, we have lots to be thankful for: a s.t.u.n.n.i.n.g trail, beautiful weather, a fantastic group of hashers, and a veritable feast.

On On
PMS

2245 – The HHHHike Trail

Hares: A.P.
Where: A.O. Wheeler Hut, Glacier National Park, BC
RA: A.P. and King Shit
Attendance: 14

This trail was part of our anal fall hiking weekend in the mountains. Thanks to King Shit’s planning, we scored a whole 30 people hut for our 14-man group. Included were 1 Edmonton visitor (Dark Side of the Moon) and 1 archive (Tommy TwoFinger) who both drove close to 6 and a half hours for this. They’d agree that it was totally worth it. We also had a near-virgin. Jenni-you-can-call-me-anything-fer had only hashed once before and joined our ranks for the night.

It has become tradition to have a numbered trail at these events. The length and difficulty of those trails are inversely proportional to the hare (and the pack’s) level of intoxication.

AP set trail and RA’ed. She took it very personally that not all members of the group did her trail and she gave them non-alcoholic French beer as punishment!

Other offenses included:
路 excessive awesomeness (PMS, Dark Side, Strap-On)
路 sexually explicit comments regarding King Shit’s whiskey
(“it’s really quite thick. It coats your mouth but it’s quite good once you swallow”, “I really can’t do it. I suck so hard”, “it finishes really well after it shoots out of your eyeballs”)
路 making the RA feel guilty for missing her rugby game
(and others I can’t remember on account of alcohol).

Our newbie got named. She had mentioned that her name was Jennifer, but could be called “Jen, Jenny, or Fur“. She later mentioned something about “rubbing Jen-itals”. She will henceforth be know as Furry Genitals.

Thompson Falls trail
Boys like to compare the size of their chalk. Lofty says he doesn’t need to compensate.

On On
PMS

2239 – Stylish and Swanky Summer Soir茅e

(alternate naming: Sweltering, Slutty, Sexy Summer)

Hares: Hot Cheeks and M茅nage 脿 Trois
Where: M茅nage 脿 Trois and Hot Liquor’s back yard
RA: Someone appointed by Rashy Bush, maybe her hubby Stool Stuffer?
Attendance: 20-ish (TBD)

We are most grateful for a jolly good evening of splendid fun at Lady M茅nage and Sir Hot’s wonderful abode.

Our two organizers Lady M茅nage and her lady-in-waiting Cheeks set a most marvelous trail which was thoroughly enjoyed by all.

A light supper of Cheet-ohs and Dorit-ohs followed. Guests had the good taste not to behave infra dignitatem, get absolutely blotto and make (complete) asses of themselves. With the exception of his royal highness King Shit, of course*. Luckily, 鈥渨hen drunk, [hashers] often become amorous or maudlin or vomit in public, but they never become truculent.鈥 (Alan S C Ross, Linguistic class-indicators in present-day English, 1954)

*Since this was typed before the event even occurred, it might be utter poppycock. Who knows?

Pip Pip Cheerio!
PMS (see you soooooon!)