Hares: Hardly and Twisted Sister Where: The Hares’ House, Beermuda Way NE, Calgary, AB RA: On In Attendance: 27
Hardly and Twisty, on Thanksgiving Day We lift our cups to you and say: We give you thanks for all you’ve done Especially for the gift of run For beauty in nature, which we hashed through For suds and shiggy, and orange food too For being hosts and hares extraordinaire These are the blessings you graciously share. So today we offer this poem of praise And we’ll drink in your honour until we’re in a daze.
Indeed, we have lots to be thankful for: a s.t.u.n.n.i.n.g trail, beautiful weather, a fantastic group of hashers, and a veritable feast.
Hares: A.P. Where: A.O. Wheeler Hut, Glacier National Park, BC RA: A.P. and King Shit Attendance: 14
This trail was part of our anal fall hiking weekend in the mountains. Thanks to King Shit’s planning, we scored a whole 30 people hut for our 14-man group. Included were 1 Edmonton visitor (Dark Side of the Moon) and 1 archive (Tommy TwoFinger) who both drove close to 6 and a half hours for this. They’d agree that it was totally worth it. We also had a near-virgin. Jenni-you-can-call-me-anything-fer had only hashed once before and joined our ranks for the night.
It has become tradition to have a numbered trail at these events. The length and difficulty of those trails are inversely proportional to the hare (and the pack’s) level of intoxication.
AP set trail and RA’ed. She took it very personally that not all members of the group did her trail and she gave them non-alcoholic French beer as punishment!
Other offenses included: · excessive awesomeness (PMS, Dark Side, Strap-On) · sexually explicit comments regarding King Shit’s whiskey (“it’s really quite thick. It coats your mouth but it’s quite good once you swallow”, “I really can’t do it. I suck so hard”, “it finishes really well after it shoots out of your eyeballs”) · making the RA feel guilty for missing her rugby game (and others I can’t remember on account of alcohol).
Our newbie got named. She had mentioned that her name was Jennifer, but could be called “Jen, Jenny, or Fur“. She later mentioned something about “rubbing Jen-itals”. She will henceforth be know as Furry Genitals.
Hares: Hot Cheeks and Ménage à Trois Where: Ménage à Trois and Hot Liquor’s back yard RA: Someone appointed by Rashy Bush, maybe her hubby Stool Stuffer? Attendance: 20-ish (TBD)
We are most grateful for a jolly good evening of splendid fun at Lady Ménage and Sir Hot’s wonderful abode.
Our two organizers Lady Ménage and her lady-in-waiting Cheeks set a most marvelous trail which was thoroughly enjoyed by all.
A light supper of Cheet-ohs and Dorit-ohs followed. Guests had the good taste not to behave infra dignitatem, get absolutely blotto and make (complete) asses of themselves. With the exception of his royal highness King Shit, of course*. Luckily, “when drunk, [hashers] often become amorous or maudlin or vomit in public, but they never become truculent.” (Alan S C Ross, Linguistic class-indicators in present-day English, 1954)
*Since this was typed before the event even occurred, it might be utter poppycock. Who knows?
Because he prefers to give than to receive, Skewbic Hair (with the help of his acolyte Dastardly) gave us the gift of trail, shiggy and skeeters on his own birthday. What a guy.
Skewb’s thunder was stolen a little bit by the fact that Hash God Masterbeater and his lovely Pink Meat came all the way from Oregon for a visit. Not content with just showing his beautiful face, Masterbeater came in a kilt, worn the way God intended it. Photos were taken, but I’m keeping those for myself. 🍑🍆
Other Archives were Burps McGee & Broke Back Mount Me.
This is what happened tonight: 👣 Rashy Bush bringing her own handcuffs to the hash. 👣 Sticky Lips sharing a new hah song with the group. “There’s a Skeeter on my Peter, wack it off”! (Speaking of songs, later that evening, we finally got past 2 verses of the Ol’ El Camino song! An all time high!) 👣 Hump the Shark headed down to the nude beach after LSOS, and both were reported to be smiling even after being thwarted by a back check 👣 Mucky Dip invited this rowdy group back to her place after trail for a party like no other… She definitely is the hostess with the most-ess. 👣 Lof-T Prancer has been found to like it on the rear. Not that there is anything wrong with that. 👣 Insane Bolt passed on the Hash Shit to Camshaft for running right past a check back. 👣 Karen found the ruckus caused by the pack to be quite unpleasant but couldn’t locate the manager to express her discuntent. 👣 Bashers Fog Horney & Chick Lick made an appearance to honour Skewbie (and no doubt to take a peek under Masterbeater’s kilt) 👣 StoolStuffer earned the most beer credits on trail based on technology-confirmed data: he had the longest one.
We had a few charges tonight: – against Men O Pause for his attire. Pink Meat wants a volunteer to help him gear up for hash. – against Karate Klit from Lying Sack of Shit. KK was running at the front and falsely cried check back. It must have been the excitement of being FRB… as she is more accustomed to being DFL.
On On! PMS (with the help of Slippy Thong’s very detailed notes) Photo credits: Pink Meat, King Shit, Skewbic Hair, Snevil
Out of the 20 possible combinations for this year’s Grey Cup, we ended with a game between the Hamilton… Tiger-Cats ? (WTF?) and the Winnipeg… Blue Bombers (not a military reference apparently, in case you wondered).
So because no one really cared about the outcomes of this game, we had a hard time finding a hare for it.
Luckily, our trio of hares (Daisy, Scoobie and Lay’em In Snow) stepped up to the plate (that’s football lingo, right?). They delivered a trail that no one complained about. In fact no one said anything about it. It might as well not have happened. Just like that football match.
So the game happened, the trail happened and then there was much rejoicing in the form of appies & beers at Bitter Sisters. Now, *that*’s worth mentioning.
With views this breathtaking, no wonder this event warranted its own run number! (But really, it was only King Shit’s scheme to ensure he secures his lead in “most runs run at the Calgary Hash House Harriers”.)
5 Calgary Hashers and 2 Ottawa Hashers joined in this year’s CH3 hiking event at the ACC Wheeler Hut. It wasn’t all work and no play, though. There were libations too, judging by the photographic evidence left on the Facebook page.
PMS Out, ON ON!
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers