#1799 – Dutch King’s Nite

Hares: Daisy Duke, Can You Hear Me Now
Where: Sideline Bar & Grill
Big Rock: Cheap and Plentiful,
Really Cheap and Really Plentiful
Religious Advisor: Abandoned Pussy
Attendance: 49

Daisy Duke's Woodies

See photos from the Run!

Dutch Treat!

The hash was vibrating with more excitement than one of Rubbermade’s toys.  Seldom has the colour orange glared so brightly, so loudly, and so obnoxiously!  Hares Daisy Duke and Can You Hear Me Now had declared it a Dutch King run, and the Calgary kennel responded in numbers and one very loud colour!

In the circle, there was a masked unknown hasher, and a couple archives that trucked up to see whether hash was now cool… of course we are still not.  Hopefully they will keep coming back anyway. Rubbermade held control sternly for about 20 seconds – a new PB for her, and worth noting!

Daisy sent a bottle around of something that he declared older than the hills.  There is a reason we as a species evolve, and one swig of that ancient elixir reminded us that we are so fortunate today to have so many other booze choices.  But then I don’t think I’m Dutch, and I don’t make a habit of munching on rolled up pickled herring either…

The trail (for the 5 hashers who followed the true trail) offered the unique opportunity to boulder and enjoy the riverside.  100 other members of the hash however, decided “not so much” and dodged Daisy’s trail, leaving Spittin Balls, Bare Down There, Flashpants, Pyro, Roaring Nancy, and Master Beater having to catch up the rest of the night.  A nicely set trail, on a very nice weather night, by a couple of very nice hares, with nice cold Big Rock at the Regroup. How nice.

Everyone’s pleasant respite was suddenly interrupted however by a camper trailer rocking, hopping, and swaying – finally none other than Auntie Frank came sauntering out with Princess Monkey Spanker and Knight Stalker.  Everyone seemed happy, they must have had a nice time.

Abandoned Pussy had the honours of handing out the much needed religion, and her horniness!   Her choir was the menagerie of Menage A Trois, King Shit,and Aunty Frank

Apparently AP had Hardley inside her and it resulted in a lot of other good things happening

There was an interlube as AP considered eating Master Beater’s ass out

There was apparent jealously over Frigid Beaver lining up a John by phone on the corner

Rubbermade and Romeo were first done (of no surprise to anyone)

Running Dry had complained so much she has been left out of anniversary runs, we celebrated her… 36th run??  WTF??

Dementia apparently brought her cheap dildo to the hash, which had something to do with Men O Pause…

…As Men O Pause was seen running down the street with Dementia’s hash mutt, leading to the natural question, who’s the bitch in this picture?

Sneevil’s shirt was recognized with her in it

And Pink Meat was recognized for how much she filled her shirt that night

Master Beater stared in wonderment at the view point, completely unable to fathom what was so view-worthy.  Right there under his nose was Bare Down There – completely missed it.  Thankfully, she unveiled herself the incredible view, providing clarity to Beater

I’ve seen (and thankfully only heard about) some pretty awful things go into Hasher and Harrierette mouths before – but Princess Monkey Spanker, Can You Hear me Now, and Daisy Duke all swallowed down huge rolls of pickled herring.  No one knows why, we are pretty sure that no one wants to know why either

Ending the night was Buried Pleasure putting on a clinic on how to down the 250 runs half yard.  It was an impressive display of swallowing I must say in complete admiration!

On On!

Master Beater

#1798 – Cheeky Dry Beaver Run

Hares : Hot Cheeks, Running Dry, Frigid Beaver
Where: Lighthouse Pub
Big Rock: It’s 4/20! Chill with a cool one, dude
Religious Advisor: Rasta Beater
Attendance: 38

Hashers getting higher

See photos from the Run!

The hash gathered at one of the hash favorite venues, The Lighthouse – REAL discounts on beer, friendly service, and a place to call our own – thank you Lighthouse for all you do!

The trail set by a pack of our favourite harrierettes, Frigid Beaver, Running Dry, and Hot Cheeks, and a very excellent night for hashing.

On top of all this – it was 420, and Dementia asked another cousin of Master Beater (Rasta Beater) to fill in.  It takes one to know one, and a stoner can see a stoner right off…

Romeo was downed for rolling up to the hash in his stoner van , disappearing in the back for a while before emerging for circle up… hmmm.

Spreadworthy must have already been wasted to toss half of her perfectly good beer down the sewer.  She received a replacement and drank it fully under the watchful eyes of the hash.

Lay Em in Snow’s mutt definitely must have been shot-gunning some second hand or found a special brownie, as she took a dump in the middle of the busy street.

Stoned hipster Goes Both Ways showed his lack of comprehension of time, clean shaven in the Winter, and growing a beard for Summer… weird.

Dirty Girl and Men O Pause wandered off the edge of a cliff, weren’t seen for while… and then reappeared… smiling.  Drugs lead to sex.

Baby was so stoned, we didn’t hear the horn half of the night as the hash horn was wandering about off trail… stoned I bet.

Men O pause was dazed and lost the rest of the night.

Pull My Woody exhibited a sure sign of a stoner, looking to sell anything he could for his next score, soliciting Master Beater to sell him car parts from his totaled Subaru.

Krusty showed up late… typical for someone always carrying around the pipe.

Running Dry in her probably drug-induced state, set her marks every 10 feet.  The other hares helped steer her the right way, and rubbed out the excessive marks.  This became ironic as her co-hares Hot Cheeks and Frigid Beaver supposedly being the “guides”, ran the hash near the shiggy, but never into it.  It was like parading a pot head by a field of weed, and not stopping to have a toke – HASH SHITS to both hares generously donated by Lofty Prancer and Abandoned Pussy.

Dastardly had a bad trip, and was heard commenting, “there are no winners”. Implying of course in the ears of Rasta Beater that the hashers in the Calgary kennel apparently are losers?  Drugs sometimes cause mood swings.

Frigid Beaver happily celebrated 50 runs!  YEA!!!

Rubbermade rightly corrected the R.A. that the new boots had been forgotten, which she received a down-down reward for…  and then wrongly didn’t carry her hash shit at the hash, for which she drank again in punishment.

Finally, Rasta Beater declared the hash “on the spliff”, and merriment followed.  (Or at least munching and beer).


– Master Beater


1798 - Ya mon! It is 4/20 today (Master Beater and Romeo)


Granny Panties in a knot?

1798 - Running Dry and her bright beer socks