Hares : Abandoned Pussy, Hot Cheeks, PMS and Rhoda Dick
Where: Bebo Grove, End of 24th Street SW
On-In: Abandoned Pussy’s spawning ground
Big Rock: for educational purposes
Religious Advisor: Rubber Maid
The CH3 class of 2015 gathered in Bebo Grove to celebrate the end of another year. The teach-hares for the evening’s lesson in all things shiggy were none other than Mrs. A. Pussy, Ms. H. Cheeks, Mrs. P.M. Spanker and class favourite Mrs. R. Dick! Super cute superintendents Charlie and Monty were there to supervise the festivities.
Mrs. Spanker took attendance in the circle and Coach Pussy promised to punish naughty King Shit for his tardiness. Brown-noser Tighty Whitey tried to gain favour with the stern Mrs. Spanker for having cleaned the erasers – but all he managed to do was confirm his advanced age since erasers haven’t been used in classrooms for a few centuries.
After much yelling from Ms. Cheeks (what else is new?) the class was on their way. The trail took a winding route through Fish Creek and had a good amount of shiggy to build character. The assignment ended with a quick climb up a steep hill and the class enjoyed some well-earned beer while they looked back over all they had accomplished.
The after-party was at Mrs. Pussy’s place where she busted out her lunch lady skills and fed the hashers all the long wieners they could handle. RA Rubber Made then took over to hand out class awards:
- The teach-hares were honoured for their exceptional skills at leading a group of hapless hashers.
- Gomer Piles, aka Alice Cooper was voted “Most likely to have an identity crisis”
- Lost in Space was voted “Most likely to own a chair that looks like a diaper so he doesn’t have to go inside to use the bathroom”
- Running Dry and Flashpants were voted “Most likely to do something not memorable enough to include here”
- Tighty Whitey was voted “Most out of touch with the modern age”
- Mrs. A. Pussy was voted “Least likely to deliver the goods” and “Most likely to convince Rubber Made to switch teams”
- Mucky Dip was voted “Most likely to put her foot in her mouth” after offending all the walkers one by one, she also celebrated her 450th time repeating whatever grade hashers are in.
- Twisted Sister and PMS were voted “Cutest couple”
- Little Elsa was renamed to “Baa baa beer” after adorably demonstrating her fondness for sheep
- Magic Mike and Pump N Schwing were voted “Most likely to have a baby out of wedlock” after taking a shortcut on trail and coming back with different shirts on
- Baby reported on some ‘anus crimes’ committed by King Shit and Lof-T Prancer at the regroup and they were voted “Most likely to pull a Skewbie”
- Ms. H. Cheeks was awarded the ”What were you thinking!?” award after asking Skewbie to watch over the beer cooler.
- Neon Stripper and Shuttlecock were given the “Worst attendance” award after they didn’t attend a single hash this year, including this one.
Other awards were likely given out, but this Froggie is done with school and can’t be bothered to remember them.
– Frogodile Hunter