Hares : Camshaft and Mmmm….Ladyfingers
Co-Hares : I Killed Kenny and Straddlepuss (Red Deer expats)
Where : Mid Sun Community Centre, 50 Midpark Rise SE
Attendance : 22 (in multiple groups of fewer than 10)

So, because I didn’t actually run trail, this week’s Scribblings will be a mix of hearsay, lies and other made up sh!t (as opposed to the usual mix of just lies and made up sh!t).

Here is what transpired on trail this week, in no particular order:

• the hares used weird “Red Deer” marks, which was very difficult to adjust to, particularly for the folks in the 7pm group who really don’t like change. To them, it was the hash equivalent of speaking in Tongues.
• The Po-Po must have been tipped off about suspicious behaviour in the neighbourhood and started circling the 6:30 group. It made King Shit dump his stash of girl guide cookies and actually run, for a change. Turns out the Fuzz was after a group of much more dangerous kids on skateboards.
• Lying Sack of Sh¡t was once again seen going into a bush to do some shady business. It appears that this is a weekly occurrence.
• Hare I Killed Kenny, despite setting trail just 4 hours prior to the run, was very cumfused and couldn’t remember which way was what. It didn’t help that the marks were very parsimoniously placed. Maybe there’s a chalk shortage? I blame Covid.

Regardless, everyone found their way back to the regroup where they each drank their own beer, while being physically distant (and mentally out there).

On-On!

Hares : Snevil
Where : Inn on Officers Garden, 150 Dieppe Dr SW
Attendance : 23 (in multiple groups of fewer than 10)

She who sucks no Evil (a.k.a Snevil) set a most head spinning trail. We did feel bad for her that she had to set it in pretty horrific weather (compared to Saturday’s patio weather), but such is the life of a Calgary hasher.

No worries though: she got her revenge by circle-jerking us to death.The 6:30 crew got so delirious that we lost true trail shortly after that and started wandering aimlessly through Rutland Park. We did eventually find our way back to the beer.

This was never a problem for King Shit and Sticky Lips, who stumbled upon Wild Rose Brewery immediately at the start of their “walking trail”. King Shit claims to have followed the arrows.

On-On!

Hares : Skewbic Hair and Dastardly
Where : South Glenmore Park , 3520 90 Ave SW
Attendance : 23 (in multiple groups of fewer than 10)

Dastardly joined forces with Skewbic Hare to set an epic trail in and around Weaselhead (Head? Who said head? I’ll have some of that!)

Newly named Oozy Pizzle Panties was caught doing shady dealings from the back of her van after the run. King Shit even went into debt to re-up his supply. He swears he’s good for it.

Daisy Duke stripped at the end of the run and this hasher does not know who ended up picking up the Onesie of Shame. Stay tuned for an update.

On-On!

Hares : Slippy Thong and Lying Sack of Shit
Where : Elite Brewery, 1319 Edmonton Trail
Attendance : 26 (in multiple groups of fewer than 10)

As this was Hot Cheeks’ 400th, Auntie Frank had the privilege to pass on the hideous 400th run trophy, at Hash Test Dummy’s great satisfaction. Who’s next?? Abandoned Pussy? Roaring Nancy? Princess Monkey Spanker?

On-On!