2165 – A Two Four Blowout

Hares : Booty Camp & Snow Blower
Where : Booty & Snow’s Love Nest, 1739 – 27 Street SW
Attendance : 12-ish? (running separately)

Rashy Bush is pretty horny.

Monday was a very wet day and some of our most hardcore hashers passed on this trail. But rest assured that it wasn’t too wet for Pyro. He came.

Booty Camp and Snowblower opened their back door for the last time and they set a nice trail for us: not too long but really really hard. Lying Sack and Slippy Thong managed to make it longer (by rubbing it fervently, I assume) while Rashy Bush and Stool Stuffer never found it at all!

Scavenger Hunt Items

  • Red winged blackbirds
  • The world’s biggest pile of sawdust
  • A wishing well
  • Lily of the Valleys in bloom
  • Mansion on a hill

Mmmmmmh Ladyfinger’s interpretation of the scavenger hunt list is looser than she is! In her defense, they were out of town, so she made do with what she had.

One milestone this week: Skewbic Hair “ran” his 950th, which – for once – he got recognized for on the actual day, thus robbing him of any excuse to whine.

On-On!

2164 – Epic Sun & Run Covid Combo for Five!!

Hares : Liquor Lots, Oozie Pizzle Panties, Dastardly
Where : Bowmont Park, 85 St NW, Calgary
Attendance : 29 (running separately)

This week again, hashers were asked to run trail on their own or in groups that follow the current health measures. Safety Third!

Scavenger Hunt Items

  • a snake 🐍
  • waterfall 💦
  • a train 🚂
  • a wheelchair ♿
  • a non-hashers dog 🐕
  • a bicycle 🚴🏾‍♀️
  • hasher in a bikini 👙
  • (optional ball pic)

It’s always a treat when veteran hasher Dastardly helps set trail. The hares did a remarkable job in this gem of a location. It was hard, wet, and slippery. We got high and we went down. The hares promised an 8k true trail and they delivered just that: no underselling, no over-delivering.

This was also the trail of many milestones:

  • King Shit ran his 1500th, securing his spot as the Runner Up to the Hash’s biggest loser title. Get a life, King Shit!
  • The beautiful Mucky Dip (569 runs) 69’ed fellow 69-er…
  • Liquor Lots (69 runs). Lesbians are best, boys!

Depending on when you ran trail, you may have run into Bownesian yoots loitering by the river, throwing caution to the wind and empties into the Bow. Tsk tsk.

Yours truly, PMS

On-On!

2163 – A Plague Upon Your Hashes

Hares : Pull My Woody and Sticky Lips
Where : West Hillhurst Community Association, 1940 6 Ave NW
Attendance : 25 (running separately)

The Creation of Hash

This week marked the first trail set since the latest set of mandatory restrictions. Because the Calgary Hash House Harriers are responsible law-abiding citizens, hares set trail but hashers were asked to run trail on their own or in groups that follow the current health measures.

Scavenger Hunt Items

a bus or train stop
a construction site
a “sold” realtor sign
a massage parlour
a tree with Xmas lights
(dick pics optional)

Trail was well marked (with V’s for on, C’s for checks and X’s for checkback) and left very little room for error, unless your name is Haywood Jablömee, in which case you ran every which way, paying little attention to marks and made the trail 19km long. Even your Strava gave up on you and reported back in two separate segments.

He looks pretty pleased with himself too.

The rest of us underachievers kept it real and stuck to the #realeagle or turkey trails.

The hare apparently forgot what he was doing half way through marking. Squirrel!

Carry On-On!

2162 – Hash Country for Old Men

Hares : Can You Hear Me Now and Aunty Frank (?)
Where : King George School, 2108 10th St. NW
Attendance : 20-something (in multiple groups of fewer than 10)

Math is hard, but hashers are harder.

Can You Hear Me Now and Aunty Frank (maybe? Was he even there?) delighted us with a wonderful trail that covered varied terrain. Proving that they are indeed “Old Men” and losing their marbles, the hares forgot to mention that they used flagging, on top of the myriad of chalk marks featured above.

This week marked Snevil’s 800th. She is still quite spry and could easily pass for a hasher in her 400’s. It was noticed that she disappeared on trail, with Daisy Duke AND Roaring Nancy. Whatever were they up to??

The highly elusive short-limbed Prairie Snevil in her natural habitat

Despite CYHMN’s promises of a “no killer run”, the Eagle trail took us on a treacherous urban cliff and had hashers grabbing at shrubbery for dear life. I’m happy to report that everyone survived (which I guess fulfilled the hare’s promise).

There are no reports of anything that went on with the 7pm group, proving the adage: “What happens with the 7-Crew stays with the 7-Crew”.

The next few weeks will have us back to running alone (or in smaller groups). We made the most of it this week, while we still could.

On-On and stay safe out there!