2216 – Tighty Whitey’s Best’est Shiggiest’est Fest.

Hares: Tighty Whitey
Where: Gators Sports Pub SW, Calgary, AB
RA: Skewbic Hair
Attendance: 18

The run title says it all. Also, the meeting point was located near Fish Creek, so there was no way we were not getting shiggy. Hopefully, this did not put off our virgin hasher Matt (whom Insane Bolt made cum).

Hare Tighty Whitey likes to lurk around and take pictures of wet and dirty hashers:

Here are some of the tales that were reported:

  • Insane Bolt saw his first beaver today. Snevil gave him the ins and outs of how to catch one.
  • Noobie “Just Josh” (who took the liberty of calling himself ‘JJ’ (rookie mistake)) will henceforth be known as “Va-JJ”. A brilliant name, whoever came up with that.
  • There were Moose Track sightings on trail (see below).
  • Stool Stuffer came 169 times. This time, he came alone. Weird for a 169.
  • Strap-On Crampon and Hot Cheeks shared their strap-ons.

In other news, a few hashers celebrated/will celebrate their birthdays :
🎂Brokeback Mount Me’s was TODAY Mar 28
🎂Booty Camp’s was March23rd
🎂 Lying Sack Of Shit’s is Apr 2nd.


2215 – AP Sets Trail

Hares: Abandoned Pussy
Where: Transit Parking Lot SE, Calgary, AB
On-In: Penny Black Bar & Kitchen SE, Calgary, AB
RA: Skewbic Hair
Attendance: 18

AP likes it hard and long – that’s what she said! No, like, literally… That’s what she said when talking about this trail that she set for us. At first, she looked fairly apologetic that her trail was on the longer side… But then she just let her mean side show, unapologetically, like the asshole she is.

And when the scribe posted her weekly plea for “Scribbling fodder”, AP further proved my point:

Turns out, at least one harrierette survived the ordeal to tell the tale. Thank you Strap On Crampon for your in real time reports.

With my cumpliments,

2214 – ☘️ Kiss Me Heiny ☘️

Hares: Oozy Pizzle Panties & Liquor Lots
Where: Griffith Woods Park SW – Discovery Ridge, Calgary, AB
On-In: Lennox Irish Pub SW, Calgary, AB
RA: Snevil
Attendance: 23

It’s that time of year again, when it becomes socially acceptable for people to shamelessly give way to their addiction and lack of restraint: yes indeed, it’s girl guide cookie season again. And King Shit has undoubtedly purchased 10 boxes of Vanilla/Chocolate Creme Cookies, all in the name of encouraging young female entrepreneurship. Our hare OPP acknowledges her shameless plug to peddle her daughter’s product on our website. Bring your money, do your bit.

The hares were so sure of the quality of their trail, they guaran-f*ckn-teed it would make us WET 💦. We were told to bring a change of undergarments.

The hares gave us wood, in fact.

Also, hashers were told that there was a glory hole on trail, which Liquor Lots enjoyed fingering, apparently.


Throwback Monday: PMS, Third Erection, Rhoda Dick (2011)

2213 – Humpy on a Rampage in the NW

Hare: Hump the Shark
Where: Crowfoot Baseball Park, Calgary, AB
On-In: Red Rock Bar and Grill, Calgary, AB
Attendance: 11
RA: Stool Stuffer probably

Hunky Humpy did a great trail
Hunky Humpy had a great ale
All of the hashers and every hariette
Really enjoyed that trail that he set!

Hump the Shark likes to do it everywhere. Sometimes he takes us to the SE (his special lady friend’s stomping grounds) but today he went back to his roots: the En-Dubya.

Some people complained that the driving time to the start of trail he advertised on the Facebook page was misleading and erroneous. At these gas prices, hashers like to plan ahead!!

But weirdly, no one complained that he had us run on an ice rink. Not even Stool Stuffer, who just came back from a month long vacation in Mexico!

Another job well done, Hump The Shark!