2251 – Hallowe’en Howl

Hares: Mmmmm Lady Fingers & Camshaft
Where: Mmmmm Lady Fingers & Camshaft’s shack, Calgary, AB
On In: Mmmmm Lady Fingers & Camshaft’s shack, Calgary, AB
RA: Dastardly
Attendance: 20

On the eve of all saints’ day, CH3’s ho-liest duo opened their back door wide and let the whole pack in.

From the dungeon in the hosts’ love nest
To the master bedroom where the sex swing rests
The hashers all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from Cam’s electrodes

They did the monster hash
(The monster hash) There was a backyard smash
(They did the hash) Some even caught a rash
(They did the hash) They did the monster hash

On On!

2250 – Itty Bitty Titties

Hares: Slippy Thong & PMS
Where: Fish Creek – Votier’s Flats, Calgary, AB
On In: Local 403, Calgary, AB
RA: Hardly
Attendance: 18

This trail is the event that everyone has been waiting for. Last year, the Itty Bitty Titty Committee went bust, in view of the fact that (t)its membership was 33-66% lower. With PMS gone and Snevil in the UK for long stretches of time, Slippy didn’t have the motivation to set an IBT run by herself. Don’t knock’er though, that would be udderly unfair.

In mammary of good times past, we chose to rack our brains and found the pairfect location for this latest installment of the Itty Bitty Titty Run: Votier’s Flats. This probably was our breast effort to date!

Accurate representation of Monday’s elevation gain. Funnily, all IBT Runs have the same elevation gain…

At circle, the pack was fed delicious Fried Egg Gummy candies and enjoyed our cans at the end of the run. Down downs were held outside on the parking lot and after that, hashers went to Local 403 for extra jugs. Luckily, Skewbic Hair didn’t overdo it. Or diddy?

Tatas for now!

2249 – Hump’er Lots

Hares: Hump the Shark and Liquor Lots
Where: Liquor Lots’s Loft
On In: Born Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: ??
Attendance: 26

First, before we go any further, let’s settle a debate. You may have noticed some discrepant spellings for our new Hash Mattress between the hareline and the scribblings. To be clear, LL herself says that her name is LIQUOR Lots (not Lick’er Lots). Let us not be too literal, King Shit or Skewbie.

For the first time, our new Hash master and mattress came together for their pleasure and ours. In the spirit of pre-Hallowe’en, they took us through or near a total of four cemeteries.

Tonight’s run was proof that hashing just ain’t for everybody. Our virgin vowed never to come back because she “didn’t like it”. Wow, don’t hold back!!

So if you’re thinking about giving hashing a go, you might want to reconsider if:
– you don’t drink and are only looking to get in “the orange zone” in between your HIIT and P90X sesh’s. (For us, “the orange zone” is the inside of a bag of Cheezies)
– you can’t tolerate profanity and are easily offended
– you can’t handle poor singing and loud people

You should consider hashing if:
– you don’t take yourself too seriously
– you want to get a decent run in (roughly 5-6k). Or not. Whatevz.
– your inner child is screaming to be let out
– you want to meet some cool people and socialize over beers/drinks.

On On!

2248 – Thanksgiving Day Afternoon Run

Hares: Hardly and Twisted Sister
Where: The Hares’ House, Beermuda Way NE, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 27

Hardly and Twisty, on Thanksgiving Day
We lift our cups to you and say:
We give you thanks for all you’ve done
Especially for the gift of run
For beauty in nature, which we hashed through
For suds and shiggy, and orange food too
For being hosts and hares extraordinaire
These are the blessings you graciously share.
So today we offer this poem of praise
And we’ll drink in your honour until we’re in a daze.

Indeed, we have lots to be thankful for: a s.t.u.n.n.i.n.g trail, beautiful weather, a fantastic group of hashers, and a veritable feast.

On On

2247 – Yummy Kippers Erections

Hares: Twisted Sister and Hardly
Where: Elite Brewing and Cidery, Calgary, AB
RA: Skewbic Hair
Attendance: 25

Everybody loves erections night! Everybody loves Yummy Kippers! In a confluence of all things good, the Hash Gods joined them both in one spectacular night of new mismanagement and goldfish crackers.

Every year, around the 10th of Tishrei, Twisted Sister and Hardly offer us a “Yummy Kippers” Holy Day Run. The celebration includes:
· wearing old non-leather shoes (i.e. runners)
· pilgrimage through the streets of Calgary
· eating (goldfish crackers) and drinking (beer).

Concurrently, new mismanagement was sworn in. Your new mismanagement is:

Hashmaster(s) – Hump the Shark & Liquor Lots
Jointmaster – ]Booty Camp
Sexitary – King Shit
Under The Influencer – Nev-R-bin …
RA Coordinator – On-In
Haberdasher – Daisy Duke
Awardinator – Daisy Duke
Beer Meister – Dastardly
Beer Wench – Just10Beaver & SnowBlower
Hash Cash – Slippy Thong, Hot Cheeks, Mmm… Ladyfingers, Strap-on
Übergeek – Nev-R-Bin
Üntergeek – Skewbic Hair & Snevil, Sucks Everything, AP, Hardly
Hash Horn – Daisy Duke
Scribe – Princess Monkey Spanker

the OG fishy trail shirt (2010)

On On!