2256 – Winter is Evil

Hares: Suck No Evil
Where: Marda Loop Community Association, Calgary, AB
On-In: Royal Exchange Bankview, Calgary, AB
RA: Snevil, the one woman Hash
Attendance: 26

The Chinook we experienced in the last few week is now over and temperatures are back to well below zero. This makes for particularly slippery sidewalks, rendered even more treacherous by the light dusting of snow that is covering the icy patches.

It’s a good thing that hashers either a) are always prepared or b) have a very high risk tolerance (Safety Third!)

Sneevz (‘O ye, of little faith’) was expecting a pack of 8 hashers (or an “8-pack”), but surprisingly, the turnout was remarkably high for such a cold evening. (There typically is a direct correlation between the weekly attendance and that Monday’s nightly temperature).

Still, even though she was setting trail for what she thought was going to be a small group of us, she still – thoughtfully – gave us a choice between an eagle and a turkey trail (which she soberly called a “shortcut”). The vast majority opted for the longcut, proving that we are definitely an athletic bunch. Except for Skewbic Hare, who shortcut with the intention of getting to the beer first (he did not succeed).

Never one to let anything go to waste, Snevil even recycled old marks and parts of the trail from the Grey Cup Run.

Snevil organised the regroup in her own parkade. Being queen of her domain, it was only fitting she also RA’ed down downs.

On On!

2255 – Pyro’s Death March

Hares: Pyro
Where: 2202 Crowfoot Parade Parking , Calgary, AB
RA: Skoob
Attendance: 20

The run title may be a wee bit dramatic (a King Shit creation?). A few years ago, the mere mention of Pyro haring would have the more recalcitrant runners stay home for the night. But Pyro has gone soft in his old age, and tends to no longer set the ballbusters of yore. (I am pre-scribing here, so this may come back to bite me in the arse. Time will tell.)

Actually, it’s time for me to get ready. I’ll be back after trail…

[insert on-hold Muzak here]

Well, it’s been confirmed that Pyro likes his trails non-Abu Dhabi and 360º checks. Trail wasn’t particularly long but we’ll cut him some slack as it was his birthday, so he probably had better things to do.

We had two milestones today: Abandoned Pussy is 400 trails old and On-In ran his 800th tonight. AP refused her half yard down down on account of being “responsible” and not wanting to “DUI” but On-In gladly attempted the challenge of downing his half yard in… over 5 minutes. To be fair, the beer was very cold and even a regular down down was hard to swallow (that’s what she said).

Mucky pulled a Dastardly and ran her own trail (after she lost the rest of the pack).

Hardly and Twisty brought some snacks, and there’s nothing better tasting that free snacks. Thanks!

On On!

2254 – Grey Cup Run

Hares: Dastardly and Hardly
Where: Joyce on 4th, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In

This was another exceptional(ly slippery) trail by the hash’s most experienced hares. The pack was advised to bring their strap-ons (crampons) but some chose to do things their own way: Skewb needs no strap-ons when he’s got his equipment (little pricks) on his person (which he screwed on himself) and Snow Blower chose to freestyle it on his summer runners. Apart from one near-miss, he managed to stay vertical all trail long.

Because they didn’t have the entertainment of slipping on ice, walkers regaled themselves with tales of public wankers.

Down Down were held at regroup and Daisy and Blue Balls lead the choir (but did they though?).

All in all, it was a successful afternoon and as Slippy commented, it was nice to be able to see marks again!


2253 – Choose your own adventure run

Hares: Tighty Whitey
Where: Bebo Grove, Fish Creek Park, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 26

TW set a trail in the style of the “Choose your own adventure” books of our youths. This made for an exciting if not confusing run, where people got lost and wished they had picked differently.

Here are the notes shared by the RA:

  • Choir: King Shit and Skoob
  • We had a Visitor straight from Germany
  • Strap On Cramp On went missing on trail. This is due to the fact that she trusted her infallible inner compass. Because Liquor Lots doesn’t know any better, she opted to follow Strap-On and they both managed to finish DFL.
  • Lying Sack of Shit and many walkers did not see the pieces of flagging and beer hidden behind the park bench. And they call themselves hashers??
  • Dastardly filled in for missing Beer Wenches – where are they?

On On!

2252 – Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenies Run

Hares: Daisy Duke and Master Router
Where: Aforza, Calgary, AB
On-In: Wild Rose Brewery, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 8

This was definitely the coldest run in a looooong time, and this – apparently – made hashers’ weenies shrink!

Only 8 hashers showed up for trail this week as it looks we have a lot of fair weather hashers in our midst! The only hasher that was completely unfazed by the weather is Vinnie (aka “On the Piss”), King Shit’s Malamute.

On On!