2266 – Polar Vortex Run with Sex Appeal

Hares: Roaring Nancy and Dastardly
Where: Pizza Bob’s, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In.
Attendance: 16

For those who missed yesterday’s run, please note that this pair of hares will *never set trail together again* (best shouted in RoaaRrring Naaancy’s inimitable voice). We’re not sure what caused the discord as trail was quite wonderful: a mix of street and trail running interspersed with idyllic forest-like segments (see for yourself):

One complaint: the name of the run over-promised and under-delivered on the sex (and the polar vortex). Temperatures (see above) were almost mild in fact. It was even mild enough for people to disrobe, which may have upped the sex appeal, but alas, no one did.

Hares gave us many PG’s to play at and the Universe gave Insane Bolt and Hump the Shark an extra toy, which they both rode long and hard.

We ran near the Tom Baker Cancer Centre and had a thought for our fellow Hasher Lay’em In Snow who – we hear – is not doing too well these days. Let’s send him some love. We miss you, buddy. ❤️

On On!

2265 – Hump the Rabbie Burns

Hares: Hump the Shark (and Dastardly)
Where: Stonewall Pub, Calgary AB
What: Wear your best Scottish getup
RA: On In
Attendance: 19

In honor of Scotland’s most famous bard, the hash organizes a special trail on (or close to) his birthday on a yearly basis. This year, Hump the Shark (the least Scottish hasher?) volunteered for the job. On-In (the Scottishest hasher) was RA and beguiled us with his own rendition(s) of Rabbie Burns poetry. Even after seeing the printed words, I’m not sure it is any more comprehensible.

Trail was true to Hump’s style: on the longer side at around 8.5km. Feel the Burns! Over achiever “Insane Bolt” is rumoured to have run even more than the hare covered as he set it, with check backs and all (11.5km).

Only a handful of hashers dressed the part, with kilt-clad Hardly being the most Scottish-looking (despite his strong Teutonic roots). Some (including myself, in the name of the “auld alliance“) wore some tartan accessories.

Oan oan!

2264 – Thunder Tits’s Memorial Run

Hares: Skewbic Hair, Hump the Shark, Dastardly
Where: Carburn Park, Calgary, AB
On In: The Station Pub and Grill, Calgary, AB
RA: RoaaarrRRring Naaancy
Attendance: 18

In loving mammary of Thunder Tits, Dastardly decided to hare this trail on the anniversary of her passing. And then he did his back in and called upon able-bodied hashers to do the work for him.

The pack met up at Carburn Park and the hares took us on a winding pilgrimage through Thunder Tits’s old stomping grounds. It was foggy and spooky.

Trail was a touch longer than people were comfortable with and only a couple of true athletes completed the “Eagle” trail while most settled for turkeying back to the car park.

A few archives came out for the occasion and we reminisced about the good old days of Thunder Tits.

May you rest in peace, TT.

On On!

2263 – Dirty Duckin’ Run

Hares: Snevil
Where: The Dirty Duck, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 14

Who’s a dirty, dirty duck?

Cinderfella was supposed to hare this week’s trail but he must have gotten cold feet and his beautiful wife Snevil ended up doing him a solid and taking this monumental task off his hands.

Snevil is a seasoned pro, so she doesn’t like to set trail in her image (short and sweet).

2262 – Daisy’s First of MANY trails this year!

(this run was 100% named by Daisy Duke himself)

Hares: Daisy Duke
Where: Heritage Park – Big H Parking Location, Calgary, AB
Where exactly: under the BIG H
RA: (Unsure)
Attendance: 14

By all accounts (and by that I mean by NO ACCOUNTS, because no one mentioned trail on social media), it was the second best trail of the year! Or maybe even the best. It reckon it was THAT good.

Daisy sure knows what he’s doing and that’s why he’s going to be setting most of the trails in 2023. That’s what he said anyway.

Because nothing leaked about this week’s run, let me regale you with the complete list of all the hashers who attended this momentous event. In ALPHABETICAL order, no less:

  • Blue Balls
  • Daisy Duke
  • Hardly
  • Insane Bolt
  • Just 10 Beaver
  • Karate Klit
  • King Shit
  • Lying Sack of Shit
  • On In
  • Pyro
  • Slippy Thong
  • Stool Stuffer
  • Suck No Evil (aka Snevil, in which case she’s listed in between Slippy and Stooly)
  • Twisted Sister

On On!

2261 – New Year’s Tacky Formal

Hares: On In
Where: Weaselhead Bar and Grill, Calgary, AB
What: The hash’s yearly black tie running event
RA: Hardly (I think)
Attendance: 19

Like every year, hashers emerged in a drunken haze to run amidst a group of their peers in black tie(tes). It is the closest thing CH3 has to a red carpet event.

THE BEST DRESSED. The secret to make it on the “best dressed” list is accessorizing. See below:

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Like, come on… did you even try?

Skewb at least redeemed himself by taking and posting photos of the event.

On On!