2270 – Short Trail, Long Pubes…errr… Pub

Hares: Strap-On Crampon & Hot Cheeks
Where: Stonegate Pub, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 30 (or is it 15?)

The (short and curly) hares set out to give us a short and curly trail. However, as the first check had us coil around and around the pub, we had already reached one kilometer when we found true trail! In the end, trail was of regular length with just over 5K.

Down Downs were held outside at the request of the hares. Mmmh Ladyfinger received her 200th run prize (complete with misspelled name).

On On!

22♋ – Blow ‘er Booty ‘s ♋er Run

Hares: Booty Camp and Snow Blow ‘er
Where: Citizen Brewing Company, Calgary, AB
RA: Roaring Nancy
Attendance: 21 (including 4 kidlets)

This run was dubbed the “Best 2pm Run of the Week”! If that’s not high praise, I don’t know what is.

Today was a special day: Family Day and a 69er (which, as we know, is the prelude to how some families get started). In that honor, at least one person went down on trail. And back at the bar, there was some licking and fingering involved too, as Skoob wanted to get rid of the evidence.

Archive: Today saw the return of archived Tommy TwoThreefinger. We’re not sure what warranted the name change. We probably don’t want to know.

Regroup: Dastardly brought his usual growlers of Hot Chocolate (you know, for kids!). Because Dastardly knows how to live, he used a whole 3 1/2 scoops of chocky powder AND offered optional Baileys add-on. We have some photographic evidence that some of the kids hit the sauce a little too hard (see below):

Sexual offence: Strap-On Crampon and Booty Camp were caught “air scissoring” at the bar.

On On!

2268 – Vinnie Van Valentine

Hare: King Shit
Where: Cold Garden Brewery, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 21

Our old hare prides himself on being old. From the link he posted on the hash Facebook page, he seems to think that he falls into the category of “handsome and distinguished older gentleman”. 🤔 It begs the question: can one be a hasher AND distinguished at once?

Anyhoo… At circle, King Shit sold us a 4k trail with a few slippery patches towards the end, when in fact we slid through almost 6k of sheer ice.

Trail took us to the top of Scotman’s Hill for a stunning view of downtown, beautifully captured by Skewbic Hair.

Down downs were held at Cold Garden, on their heated patio.


With love, PMS

2267 – You Down With OPP (Yeah You Know Me)!

Hares: Oozy Pizzle Panties & Liquor Lots
Where: Garrison Pub & Eatery, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 23

🎶 OPP, how can I explain it
I’ll take you frame by frame it
To have y’all jumpin’ shall we singin’ it
O is for Oozy, P is for Pizzle maybe with a rimple
The last P… well… that’s quite simple
It’s what your call underwear not worn by men.

Circle started off with kind words of remembrance for fellow hasher Lay’em in Snow, who sadly passed last Tuesday after a year-long battle with cancer. We will miss his kindness, positive spirit and wisdom. What a Mensch. On Up, Lem!

Our two harrierettes set a wonderful long(er) trail on this beautiful warm(ish) night. Times are tough and chalk is expensive so marks were few and far between: hares had to guide us through sections of it. Still, it made for a very enjoyable trail through Marda Loop and Sandy Beach, complete with a PG and on-trail smut!

Down Downs were held at the Garrison Pub, directed by RA On In, and songs were led by a S-H-I-T-T-Y C-H-O-I-R, shitty choir (they sucked!), shitty choir (the *really* sucked!). On-In likes his down down beers to be more than a mouthful so beer bitch Just-Ten Beaver, did as she was asked and filled ’em glasses!

On On!