2299 – Heroes & Villains Live Hare Gong Show

Hares: Qweft-BG & Liquor Lots
Where: LIQUOR Lots’s Lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 27

Today’s hare was “the man with 6 names“. On top of his civilian name, he goes by “Queer Eye for the Brown Guy”, “Qweft-BG”, “Queef”, “Funny Guy” (A Can Crusher exclusive), and “Liquor Lots’s piece of ass”. For obvious practical purposes, I will stick to Queef.

Queef doesn’t often (or ever) hare in Calgary, but when he does, he makes sure it’s a live hare, in an area he barely knows. (Live haring allowed for more time in bed with Liquor Lots). The deed was done “T2 Style” (Edmonton True Trail style): fast and furious. There were boobs checks, dick checks, some getting wet, much trying to find your way around and someone definitely finished first.

King Shit finished dead fucking last and got assistance from a much younger harriette to get him back up at the end.

Regroup and down downs were held in LL’s back lot where Dastardly celebrated his birthday and provided us with delicious iced treats.

Despite a most lovely trail, some people opted out of running/walking and chose to … bash!! (Gasp!) Lots and lots of excuses:
– Dark Side of the Moon’s excuse was that he was too far away to make it on time.
– AP’s excuse was (what else?) RUGBY
– PMS (yours truly) offered no excuse, but you better be sure that it was a good one.

On On!

2298 – Northern Exposure

Hares: Pyro
Where: Home Depot Parking lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 20

Another Pyro Special. Here are the hash mattress’s tales from trail:

  • 2 archives (or were they visitors? [note from the scribe: archives!]) and a new boot (Chad, Pyro’s neighbour and also an frb/racist*).
  • Dastardly had his 1100th run and downed a large drink of beergarita.
  • Great trail. Tons of ups, tons of downs, lots of near misses (aka tripping and allllmost falling on our faces.

Photos (also from the hash mattress):

[* the shame! We don’t tolerate race-ism!]

On On!

2297 – The Hash Survival Run

Hares: Dastardly
Where: Marda Loop Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 24

Run #2297 promised to make us wet and hashers were asked to bring a full change of clothes if they wanted to get wet just below the belt (and above, in Sneve’s case).

This run thrown together at the last minute had a few hills, lots of river crossings and even more playgrounds.

To document this momentous run, we have two types of photographers: Karate Klit and Skewbic Hair. I will let you be the judge of their documentary work.

Skewbic Hair:

And Karate Klit:

Looks like everyone had fun though, especially Karate Klit, who let’s face it, must be prelubing heavily before trail (not that there’s anything wrong with that).


2296 – Slutfest 9000

Hares: Booty Blower (Booty Camp + Snow Blower)
Where: Evil Corporation Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: Snevil
Attendance: 16

slutty trail (it sucked! – if ya know what I mean)
slutty trail (it blew! – wink wink)

Now this is one run that the scribe is very sorry to be missing. Who doesn’t love a good themed-run? And one themed around sluttiness at that? Come on!

Hashers were asked to dress sluttier than usual for this run. Now of course, most Calgary hashers are pretty slutty to begin with, starting with the hares, of course. Here is a little gallery displaying unprompted sluttiness over the years.

For this run, some (few) people made an effort:

While most remained very conservative (boring!):

Look at this boring lot!

Snevil RA’ed. It’s only fitting as Down Down took place in her office (Evil Corporation Brewing).

On On!