RUN 2320 – Boxing Day Boxer Shorts Run

Hares:  Hardly and Twisted Sister

Location:  Chez Hardly and Twisty, Beddington, NW Calgary

RA: Stool Stuffer

Attendance: 19

Boxing Day Run!

The Beginning

With the calendar enabling to have hash after hash after hash, it was now time for the traditional Boxing Day – Boxer Shorts run. Hardly and Twisty volunteered to set trail and host the crew of runners and walkers who had not yet succumbed to the over abundance of Christmas cheer, given that Monday was Christmas Day…. and there was a run to be had!

The weather cooperated and it was a warm, sunny day well suited for an afternoon run through the wilds of Beddington. Temperatures in excess of 10 C were observed on the drive up to the run. Global warming is adorning the hard packed ice and snow with a delightful layer of meltwater, just perfect for loss of traction.

The group parked on the street and assembled on a sunny driveway across the street. Dirty Dancer and Mouthful are used to their sunny driveway being overrun by hashers, so did not call the police to remove the unruly gang of anxious and loud hashers.

Boxer shorts fashion show.

Circle up was called, and On-In lead the group through the opening ceremonies. Hardly described the marks for the run, confirmed that the run conformed to the Abu Dhabi convention, and to disregard any ancient marks from previous trails set in the neighbourhood. B was the letter of interest for those following true trail.

The Run

The pack was released to find the true trail. Of course the first long downhill segment lead to a check back. After much milling around and discovering other false trails, evidence to the true trail emerged.

There were playgrounds to be enjoyed. Hardly had selected a portion of the neighbourhood that was rich with PG’s. Unruly hashers took to swinging, teetering, and shopping cart thrills. I do not suspect we will be welcome back.

Finally, after an exhausting trail, the end was near. BN spotted on the post meant that beverages would soon be available to quench our overpowering thirst. A crowd gathered on the sidewalk in anticipation of refreshments to follow.

Regroup and Down Down’s

In spite of global warming, the regroup was held indoors so we can bask in the shadow of and warmth of our carbon footprint.

As we enjoyed our beverages, the call was made to a spontaneous RA to do the closing ceremonies. Stool Stuffer did not decline quick enough and was elected to conduct the down downs.

The group packed into the section of the house that was beer spill resistant, and Stoolie launched into his program. Choir…. whoever could remember a song. Content? Clever hand off to the down-down recipient to select the next victim. A fine display of mirth and merriment, in keeping with the drinking season we are in the middle of. Down down to the hares and hosts, down downs for the check back champions, Christmas sock wearers and best boxers. Blue Balls has chosen to be the fastest runner in the hash! Another down down. It keeps on going until On-In declares “on the piss”.

Serious group worried about being singled out for crimes and offences

And the winner is! Best shopping cart adventure ride of the trail.

Best shopping cart ride ever!

The Trail

Something close to 5 km in the warm sunny weather!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

RUN 2319 – Ho Ho Ho! Christmas Day Run

Hares: Snow Blower and Bootie Camp
Location: The BooBlow’s new pad
RA: Hardly
Attendance: 16?

It’s not often that Christmas falls on a Monday. In fact since the start of the Calgary Chapter of the Hash House Harriers, Christmas has fallen on a Monday exactly 6 times: in 1989, 1995, 2000, 2006, 2017 and 2023.

This year, Snow Blower and Bootie Camp were gracious enough to open their doors (AND CLOSE IT!! DON’T LET THE CAT OUT!) to host this true Hashmas miracle of a run. Snow Blower promised that it wasn’t long. I guess he’s a grower, not a shower, because it went on for longer than any of us expected. Still, it was just the right length on this beautiful winter’s day.

What else happened?
* Dastardly brought RG beers as well as an assortment of his own personal collection of Christmas themed booze (think Candy Cane liqueur and the such).
* The archived Davidson family graced us with their presence. With any luck we’ll see them again at next year’s Stampede Hash.
* Liquor Quicker also made an appearance though she hadn’t been gone long enough to warrant her the title of “Archive”.
* PMS and Strap-On looked as cool as ever.
* Hardly stroked pussy (and it liked it).

On On

RUN 2318 – This Run Will Be Insane!

Hares: Insane Bolt

Location: Moose’s Beanery and Bar Room

779 Northmount Dr NW, Calgary, AB T2L 0A1

RA: Hardly and Twisty

Attendance: 24

Lights to Show You The Way!

The Beginning

Insane Bolt volunteered to set the trail. After some though, the start point of Moose’s Beanery and Bar, on Northmont Road NW as selected as the start location. A good venue with a big room in the back where we can misbehave, and a selection of tasty beer and food. Moose’s is also quite close to the large Christmas light display off 14th Street NW.

Of note is the scribe had a much better offer than go hashing, and had to activity participate in cheering the Calgary Flames to victory from the lower bowl seats. As such, the photos and the stories are from others, with the daunting task to making up a story falling to the scribe.

No idea what happened in the circle, and no pictures were forthcoming. It appears that we had an archive, SuperSoaker appear. Being related to the On-In, we are pleased that he convinced the long lost hasher to come out and run with us.

Of note, apparently it was Roaring Nancy’s 400th run this night. A significant event that is celebrated with the acquisition of the ugliest, heaviest Hash trophy. A delight for the person dispensing with it, and a burden for the recipient, not counting the days before the next 400th run victim comes forward.

Here is an artistic rendition of the circle that would have taken place. Likely lead by either On-In or the returning vacation princess, Princess Monkey Spanker. Welcoming the group, introductions, announcements and awards acknowledgement for the 400th run. Archive SuperSoaker and appointment of Hardly and Twisty as RA for the Christmas themed down-downs. Likely Insane Bolt explained the marks he had chose to use. Roaring Nancy inquired if the run followed the Abu Dhabi convention. And they were off!

The Trail

The hashers were released into the dark to find the marks Here are some photos of what was seen on trail.

I expect that there was a regroup that was enjoyed but not photographed. Here is more evidence that there was indeed a trail.

The Down Downs

I suspect that the group made its way back to the bar, picked a table with their friends and ordered drinks and food prior the the closing ceremonies. Apparently Hardly and Twisty were selected (volunteered) for the RA responsibilities. I see that the dug up some of the RA trappings that have been absent for some time. It would also appear that the Christmas song book made and appearance, and a choir of Hump the Shark, Cock Tail, and Hot Cheeks were pressed into vocal service.

Here are a couple of random pictures of people getting down down’s. Obviously crimes were committed and they must be punished or rewarded. At this level, I suspect the Hare was downed for setting a shitty trail. SuperSoaker was acknowledged and welcomed back to the hash, as he is On-In’s spawn. Most other offences were likely sexual in nature, but low level misdemeanors.

The main event was the acknowledgement of Roaring Nancy’s 400th run. PMS was lost for words with the handover of the best trophy ever to its new recipient. A significant milestone for Roaring, and a new name on the plaque. PMS is so sad to have this out of her house…..

With the down-downs complete, the group was on the piss. Perhaps someone has some gadget evidence of the trail which can be posted here.

On On

Scribed by Skewbic Hair, your absent scribe. No facts were harmed in creating this story.

The Trail

Apparently 5.5 km were run. A fine trail, so they say.

Run 2317 – Never Two Cold for Two House

Hares: Daisy Duke

Location: Two House Brewing Company SW

1901 10 Ave SW, Calgary, AB T3C 0K3

RA: Hump the Shark

Attendance: 23

Follow These Marks

The Beginning

The run was set to begin from Two House Brewing Company, in the shadow of the elevated C-Train tracks west of 14 th street.

Temperature was a bit below zero and there was some ice on the pathways. A lots of discussions about cramp-on on not for safety.

The pack assembled outside in the back parking lot of the pub. A reasonable turn out of 23 hashers.

Circle Up!

On -In started the circle, with introductions and announcements. Apparently we need hares to set trail! Sign up and feel good! The Hare was Daisy Duke. Without flagging, he described the trail marks. Apparently, with the back check in play, this trail did not follow the Abu Dhabi convention.

The Run

The trail encompassed the communities of Sunalta, Scarboro and the Bow River pathway. The trail was challenging and amusing, with plenty of check backs to keep the front runners ranging along. The viewpoint under the Crowchild trail bridge was entertaining for those that got sucked in. The extra distance runners were not disappointed.

The Regroup

After much dark pathway by the Bow River, we eventually made our way back to the regroup located under the C-Train and Crowchild Trail bridges. A fine assortment of delicious beverages was on offer. Not sure where the walkers ended up, but the runners enjoyed the available refreshments.

The Down Down’s

The group made its way back to Two House Brewing Company to enjoy the beer and pizza available.

Hump the Shark appointed himself as RA and got the group organized for down downs. A choir was named with Pyro, On-In and Dastardly up for the task.

An abundance of crimes were committed on trail that were rewarded with a down-down.

Daisy Duke set a great trail and was serenaded with his favourite “Shitty Trail” song. Hot Cheeks was the winner of the hash, being a FRB who finished first. There was some suggestion that here trail was somewhat shorter than the true trail.

Apparently Snevil surprised Insane Bolt on trail for some reason. Other crimes of sexual nature were also noted. Lazy Cummer was cited for setting a new fashion trend at the hash. His hob nail boots are apparently the next thing in stylish running footwear.

The sitting hash was honoured with a seated song. A fine display of RA prowess.

Another fine hash comes to an end. On your own to enjoy yourselves. On the piss.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Trail – 5 km ish

RUN 2316 – Best Ever December 4 Run this year!

Hares: Mmmmm Lady Fingers and Camshaft

Location: Banquet (University District) NW

3953 University Ave NW #220, Calgary, AB T3B 6K3

RA: Hump the Shark

Attendance: 29

University District – Many Lights!

The Beginning

The weather was good and not a snowflake to be seen. Mmmm Lady Fingers and Camshaft selected a cool new venue in the University District for the run start location. Very civilized with free heated underground parking which will be even more appreciated when the weather turns cold.

The group aggregated in the bar and waited for the signal to head outside for the circle up.

The turn out of 29 people was a good number. The warmish weather was appreciated.

PMS ran the circle and went through the introductions, welcomed the archives back to the group, and told us of the milestone runs. She reminded us that we are Number 1!

PMS gives a signal

The hares, Mmmm Lady Fingers and Camshaft were introduced and took us through the marks for the trail. The flagging was lime green and was conspicuously placed where it was difficult to find. The start of the run was through the parkade on a quest to find the one exit door that marked our trail.

The Trail

We started off down the stairs to the parkade. Well lit parking lot. Much running around looking for marks until ultimately we found the exit door selected for the trail and started running around looking for marks and/or flagging.

There was lots of challenging terrain as we wandered though the neighbourhoods of Montgomery and Varsity. The hares had planned the trail with an abundance of great views, complimented by more than enough uphill trail. After 6+ km, we were rewarded with a regroup.


As we came back to the University District, we were pleased to see the BN and BVN symbols leading to the RG. The Dastardly mobile was loaded with suitable beverages to be enjoyed by the group.


The run now over, we assembled in the separated area that had been set aside for us at the pub. Good venue for a group like ours. Minors were kicked out at 9:00 pm so we timed the celebrations to begin at the right time.

Multiple tables meant pick the people you wish to talk with. Not good for mingling, but good for us!

The beer wenches procured an 88 US oz dispenser for beer. Have not seen one of these beer dispensers. Before and after pictures indicate a fine effort from the beer wench.

Hump the Shark appointed himself as Religious Advisor (RA). He selected a choir of Hardly and Twisty and the ceremonies were launched!

The hares were honoured for setting a shitty trail to be enjoyed by all.

Various crimes, misdemeanors, acquisitions, stories and award were delivered. Archives, milestone runs, sexual offences and other down down offences were celebrated.

On the piss!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail – 6+ km