Run 2339 – Slow Clap for the Wolf Ma’am

Hares:  Slow Clap
Location:  JJ’s Neighbourhood Pub SW

2 Spruce Center Southwest, Calgary, AB T3C 3B7

RA:  Hump the Shark
Attendance: 19

Waiting for the snow to fall

The Beginning

We appreciate that Slow Clap has relocated to the posh neighbourhood of Spruce Cliff, and has chosen to set an epic trail to showcase here new location. The run was laid out to show us the views and vistas of the high location near the Shaganappi Golf Course.

JJ’s Neighbourhood Pub was the starting point in the Spruce Cliff Center (should be spelled Centre, but when this strip mall was built, this spelling of center was OK). It is going through a transformation as the ancient strip mall where it resides is being improved. Hash friendly and a great starting point.

The weather was changing. The arrival of spring is known to bring rain and snow. Weather forecast for the run was wet, but not in a good way. Hashers arrived and found a spot in the pub prior to the circle forming out in the parking lot.

Slow Clap announced that the circle would be forming outside. Like lemmings, we all shuffled out of the pub for the circle.

Enough socializing and chatting, time to get the thing going! PMS completes the circle and Slow Clap explains the marks or the run. Chalk and flagging. Efforts to avoid the homeless encampments in the forest. A bit of urban and forest trails to come!

The pack is released in an easterly direction as the clouds above get darker and wetter.

The Trail

Off to find the trail, but not what we had expected. Rather than lead us to be Douglas Fir Trail, we were taken on an urban tour showing us the high density housing around the golf course and the shopping mall. The pack came through courtesy of a the front runners who found the marks.

Thankfully, a park appeared and the hashers became quite playful. I am concerned that some of these stunts are dangerous and hashers might die.

Sadly, one of our hashers found herself on the wrong side of the fence. Forlornly, unable to join in any hasher playground games.

Post playground, the run gathered momentum. A route through the back alleys provided additional recreational opportunities for Insane Bolt, who felt compelled to test an abandoned exercise bike. He declared ” It works fine!”

More streets and trails were experienced prior to the regroup refreshment stop. See the happy hashers returning from the wilds of the forest in good spirits! A little rain/snow not dampening their spirits.

A stream of runners appears and they can hear the sound of the regroup which awaits them just down the path.


With a cold drizzle, hail, on its way to snow, nothing like a tailgate to hide under with a suitable refreshment.

On In

Back to JJ’s Neighbourhood Pub to dry off, warm up and prepare for the closing ceremonies.

With everything ready to go, Hump the Shark jumped into action, chose a choir of Camshaft and Mmmmmm Lady Fingers, and proceeded to conduct the ceremony.

Down-downs for the hare, a cast of characters who had committed various infractions, crimes and misdemeanors. Much content was created with minimal facts or truth.

After all was said and done, Hump the Shark declared to group to be “on the piss”

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

A fine trail in the 6 to 7 km range. Some ran more than others because they found the check backs of got sucked into the wilderness trail.

Run 2338 – Tu Tu Invasion of Haultain Park SW – Earth Day and Dogs!

Hares:  Oozy Pizzle Panties (OPP) and Liquor Lots (LL)
Location:  Haultain Park SW

225 13 Ave SW, Calgary, AB T2R 1N8

RA:  Insane Bolt
Attendance: 32

View from the top!

The Beginning

Was it a coincidence that April 22, 2024 was the date of our tutu run? As well, some people celebrate Earth Day in a peculiar fashion. As our hares are dog friendly, who know that the on-in would be at the only dog themed taproom, conveniently located near the run start location.

Tutu’s were in abundance. Some matching colours, and even ones that light up! The number of tutu’s increases each time we have a run on the 22 of a month. The circle formed near the playground area of Haultain Park SW.

Milling about prior to the run start.

A strong group of over 30 hashers showed up. We had two hashers that were running for their second time! Just Ernie and Just Angelica. This is a good sign when they come back to the group. A happy crown of people and dogs assembled waiting for the introduction of the plan for a fine evening run.

PMS called the circle to order and the hares introduced the trail to the group.

The pack was released to navigate through the beltline area, obeying all traffic signals they encountered.

The Trail

We started with urban orienteering. Trying to find and follow the marks and not get too lost. Eventually, we ending up mountain climbing.

Uphill to Mount Royal was rewarded with some nice views.

City View

Some reckless playing was observed at a park. Tried not to scare away the locals.

After the play break, it was off to find the regroup chariot parked near the Alberta Ballet office, as a tribute to the tutu outfits.

The Regroup

Suitable refreshment was found and consumed.

The Alberta Ballet would be so proud of this group

The On In

Who knew there was a dog friendly tap room that named their beer after dogs. A dog person must have found this out. However, the venue was good for the group and were assembled in Four Dogs Brewing Company for the comradery and the down downs..

The Down Down’s

Hump the Shark managed to delegate the Religious Advisor role to Insane Bolt. As he had to deal with a challenging group of locals, hashers and dogs, he put in a fine effort to get the job done! Questionable choir choice of PMS and Skewbic Hair, as they never agree on anything, nevertheless what song to sing.

Beverages being prepared.

Crimes, accusations, stories, and a couple of mis-truths made up a bulk of the down downs. A fine job by Insane Bolt demonstrating his ability to manage the unruly crowd.

Finally, after much celebration, Insane declared the evening to be “on the piss”.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

More or less 5+ km’s. If you ran more checkbacks, your trail will be longer,

Other Random Pictures

As cameras were in abundance this run, here are some additional photos collected from the trail.

Run 2337 – The Return Engagement of the Booty Blower Run

Hares:  Booty Camp and Snow Blower
Location: Kilkenny Irish Pub – Brentwood NW

3630 Brentwood Rd NW #500, Calgary, AB T2L 1K8

RA: Skewbic Hair
Attendance: 29

Running through the University

The Beginning

We were pleased to see that Booty Camp and Snow Blower volunteered to set this run. They have moved into the neighbourhood and were excited to show off the trails that can be found in this part of town up by the University. Fresh from a recent trip to Australia, they were primed to set an epic trail.

The group gathered inside at the pub to mentally prepare for the run. A good turn out with a couple of new boots, Rachel and Annie courtesy of Just10 Beaver!

PMS declared it was time to go outside and circle up in the cold. A quick change in weather reminded us that winter was not over and it was cold outside. Nevertheless, the group assembled in the parking lot to get the show on the road.

We went through announcements and opening formalities. Welcoming new boots, and acknowledging the milestone: Hardy and Twisty – 1500 runs, Hot Cheeks – 500 runs. Apparently these folks have not figured out how to get a life. The hares were called into the circle to explain the marks they had selected for tonight’s run.

Booty Camp raised her hand and pointed in a general direction for the run start. The pack was off!

The Trail

The pack dispersed to find the true trail. Many check backs were explored until the pack figured out that it went over Crowchild Trail to the University. A great job was done by those who found the trail and announced it to the balance of the pack. No lives were lost.

Playground can be a dangerous place. Pay attention to the hazards that exist when adults behave like children. Thankfully, no injuries were reported.

The walkers provided some pictures to fill out the run experience.

After much fun and frolic, the regroup was discovered, close to the intended location. Plan was to have the regroup on Blow Street. Much planning went into this, however, the plan had to be adjusted when it appears that the Blow Steet sign has been stolen.


The regroup was located by a happy group of runners and walkers. There was much rejoicing as the suitable refreshment was enjoyed prior to making it back to the pub for for down-downs.

Down Down’s

Skewbic Hair was appointed to be the Religious Advisor. The choir was acclaimed to be Dastardly, OPP and Lazy Cummer. There were many crimes, transgressions, awards and acknowledgements delivered.

Here is a collage of some of the down-down’s that were administered.

With all the down down’s complete, it was on the piss!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

We ran some 5’ish km’s. More for those that found the check backs.

Run 2336 – Post Partial Solar Eclipse Recovery Run, Whoops a Lazy Daisy

Hares:  Daisy Duke and Lazy Cummer
Location:  Crescent Heights High School NW

11 Ave & 2 Street NW (NW corner)

On-In: Paradise Brewing Company, 1319 Edmonton Trail #100, Calgary, AB T2E 2K5

RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 32

The Beginning

Thankfully, Daisy Duke and Lazy Cummer did not a major astronomical event getting in the way of setting trail. A partial solar eclipse is no big deal, however, they chose to wait util after the event was over to set their trail “on the day”. No point in setting trail if the world has come to an end.

Daisy and Lazy Cummer had selected a difficult to find parking lot in Crescent Heights NW as the starting point of the trail. Artfully timed to catch the rush hour and general congestion of a near downtown run location. Never the less, a trail was set and we are all thankful for that.

Arriving suitably late, the scribe did not have much of a story from the pre run activities in the parking lot. Apparently, the hares set the run at 5:00 pm. Scouted out the Two Pillars Brewing Company to conclude that it was too micro for the On-In. Good catch!

Wayne Gretzky cream and other pre run beverage were available, likely celebrating the fact the world was still functional post partial solar eclipse.

A good turn out of over 30 enthusiastic hashers, complete with visitors and new boots!

On-In got the circle started. Announcements and introductions, then the hares were call in to explain the great trail they had in store for the group.

The pack was released, and the confusion was engaged. From the top of Crescent Heights, you know that you will likely be going down, down, down to the Bow River with some great views.

The Trail

The false trails that were set from the start enabled the pack to get quite disoriented. Perhaps some post eclipse hangover was affecting judgement. Eventually, the marks were discovered and the pack found an early playground thankfully.

The trail did deliver to the height of Crescent Heights, with a great view of the city. There was no escaping the huge descent awaiting the pack.

A path with a view

The pathway was alive with people and dogs, creating some obstacles for the runners.

A major transgression of marking etiquette was committed by one of the canine runners. Surely, Poppy was not happy with the trail at this point.

Thankfully, the hash continued and a the pack was entertained with a tour of Princess Island, Centre Street Bridge and the Mount Pleasant neighbourhood.

In the interest of community service, Skewbic Hair cleaned up the detritus on the trail as not to upset the hasher with the poor housekeeping.

Eventually, the runners made it back to the regroup after 6+ km of grueling trail running.

Strap On Cramp On with avalanche airbag ready to deploy


Given the crime problems in the neighbourhood, the hash ensure we had suitable security around our prized beverage collection. Camshaft was ready to leap into action if required. He has been practicing his defensive Japanese crutch moves should trouble arise.

The group assembled and enjoyed a suitable refreshment, thinking how the nice warm weather had been replaced a cold and windy conditions. Not ideal for parking lot down-downs.


The adjacent Crescent Heights community centre had a wind reduced patio deemed suitable for down-downs. Insane Bolt and Liquor Lots prepared for the ceremonies. Hump the Shark seems to have no problem volunteering to be Religious Advisor. He may have found a permanent role with the group!

Hump selected Hot Cheeks and Strap-on Cramp-on as the choir. They seem pleased with the responsibility of selecting the songs for the group. The crimes were many. The new people and visitors were recognized. The usual suspects were recognized and a Hash Shit was handed off.

We made it through the down-downs and were declared “on the piss”. We decided to on-in at Paradise Beverage Company (formerly Elite Brewing). A small but cheerful group continued to celebrate the great trail and the end of the partial solar eclipse.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair.

The Trail

Something like 6 ish km’s. A fine trail.

Run 2335 – Fools on the Hill

Hares:  Abandoned Pussy and Hot Cheeks
Location:  Hulls Wood, Fish Creek Park SE Calgary

Last parking lot before Sikomie Lake at the end of Bow Bottom Trail SE

On-In: Lighthouse Pub, 1140 137 Ave SE, Calgary, AB T2J 6T6

RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 32

April Fools on the Hill

The Beginning

We should have appreciated that this run was set for April 1, 2024. In some circles, this is know as April Fools day. Who would have expected the entire group to become the April fools on the hill, as the hares had set up a cunning trap which most of us were sucked into.

The weather was delightful. What was ice and snow the day before had now turned to sloppy, wet and muddy. Fish Creek has many pathways to get lost in. We gathered in the Hulls Woods parking lot at the East end of Fish Creek. A good turnout with over 30 hashers. The sun was out and the temperature was mild. What could possibly go wrong.

A circle starts to take shape!

On-In managed to start off the circle. We had a new boot, Matt, some archives and a couple of milestone runs. Good to see the keen interest in the group! Marks were described by the hares, and the pack was released into the muddy trails!

Hashers dispersed to find anything that looked like a mark, indicating the true trail. A majority of us were sucked into long stretches of trail that apparently had marks. This was the initial confusion plan of the hares!

The Trail

Slush, mud and some pavement were traversed in search of true trail. Eventually, the group found something and were off. All was well until confusion set in.

Apparently the pack did not make good choices at the pedestrian bridge. Wandering around in a big circle added extra distance to the trail. The look of confusion on the distressed hashers is apparent.

The bridge was a crucial element in the trail. The hares had devised a plan to dupe the pack. A cunning plan was set to trick the hashers into crossing the river.

And yes, once the majority of the pack was over the river and up to the top of the hill, an enormous “check back” was waiting for us. Making the most of the unfortunate situation, a couple of viewpoint pictures were taken.

Now, all that was left was to blaze a trail back to the beginning to find the regroup. Easier said than done for some. Here are some happy shots from the walkers group.

No hash run is complete without a certain element of drama. With the best intentions, some members of the group found themselves on a “bad” shortcut. The ice bridge traverse was dodgy, but nobody died. Safety is always a consideration on the hash run.

The Regroup

Eventually, we made it back to the parking lot. Outside down-downs were in order, and the group prepared with beer and snacks.

The Down-Downs

Hump the Shark was self appointed as the Religious Advisor for the evening. The refreshments were prepared by Liquor Lots and the ceremony started.

A choir of Lying Sack of Shit and Insane Bolt were selected. Together, they knew about three songs, but that was not a problem. Several down downs were handed out for various reasons. The hares, new boot Matt, returning archives, and two run awards were delivered.

A fine time was had by one and all. The group retired to the Lighthouse Pub for further discussion of world events and commiserate on how they all felt quite foolish.

On the Piss!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

Something like this in the 5 ish km range. This is a bad illustration with the ice-bridge shortcut at the end.

Here is a different version closer to 6 km.