Run

1809 – School’s Out, Let’s Party

Hares : Abandoned Pussy, Hot Cheeks, PMS and Rhoda Dick
Where: Bebo Grove, End of 24th Street SW
On-In: Abandoned Pussy’s spawning ground
Big Rock: for educational purposes
Religious Advisor: Rubber Maid
Attendance: 38

DON'T ask Alice!

See photos from the Run!

The CH3 class of 2015 gathered in Bebo Grove to celebrate the end of another year. The teach-hares for the evening’s lesson in all things shiggy were none other than Mrs. A. Pussy, Ms. H. Cheeks, Mrs. P.M. Spanker and class favourite Mrs. R. Dick! Super cute superintendents Charlie and Monty were there to supervise the festivities.

Mrs. Spanker took attendance in the circle and Coach Pussy promised to punish naughty King Shit for his tardiness. Brown-noser Tighty Whitey tried to gain favour with the stern Mrs. Spanker for having cleaned the erasers – but all he managed to do was confirm his advanced age since erasers haven’t been used in classrooms for a few centuries.

After much yelling from Ms. Cheeks (what else is new?) the class was on their way. The trail took a winding route through Fish Creek and had a good amount of shiggy to build character. The assignment ended with a quick climb up a steep hill and the class enjoyed some well-earned beer while they looked back over all they had accomplished.

The after-party was at Mrs. Pussy’s place where she busted out her lunch lady skills and fed the hashers all the long wieners they could handle. RA Rubber Made then took over to hand out class awards:

  • The teach-hares were honoured for their exceptional skills at leading a group of hapless hashers.
  • Gomer Piles, aka Alice Cooper was voted “Most likely to have an identity crisis”
  • Lost in Space was voted “Most likely to own a chair that looks like a diaper so he doesn’t have to go inside to use the bathroom”
  • Running Dry and Flashpants were voted “Most likely to do something not memorable enough to include here”
  • Tighty Whitey was voted “Most out of touch with the modern age”
  • Mrs. A. Pussy was voted “Least likely to deliver the goods” and “Most likely to convince Rubber Made to switch teams”
  • Mucky Dip was voted “Most likely to put her foot in her mouth” after offending all the walkers one by one, she also celebrated her 450th time repeating whatever grade hashers are in.
  • Twisted Sister and PMS were voted “Cutest couple”
  • Little Elsa was renamed to “Baa baa beer” after adorably demonstrating her fondness for sheep
  • Magic Mike and Pump N Schwing were voted “Most likely to have a baby out of wedlock” after taking a shortcut on trail and coming back with different shirts on
  • Baby reported on some ‘anus crimes’ committed by King Shit and Lof-T Prancer at the regroup and they were voted “Most likely to pull a Skewbie”
  • Ms. H. Cheeks was awarded the ”What were you thinking!?” award after asking Skewbie to watch over the beer cooler.
  • Neon Stripper and Shuttlecock were given the “Worst attendance” award after they didn’t attend a single hash this year, including this one.

Other awards were likely given out, but this Froggie is done with school and can’t be bothered to remember them.

Class dismissed

On-On!

– Frogodile Hunter

Run

1806 – Your Balls are Turning Colour

Hare : Blue Balls
Where: Stix Sports Bar, #420 5255 Richmond Road SW
Big Rock: by the Schooner
Religious Advisor: Dementia
Attendance: 40

Pink Meat, Twisted Sister enjoy mangos

See photos from the Run!

Blue Balls was fidgeting before the run.  “Have you seen Dastardly?”  No, no one had seen him yet, and Mr. Balls had a legitimate reason to worry – Dastardly and Thunder Tits had the regroup beer.  Perfectly ok not to have a re-group on a run – perfectly BAD to mark the trail BN, BVN, BVVN, and then NOT have beer!

In the end, Blue Balls could air them out some, because the beermeister showed and the regroup would now be, well… a regroup!

Maple slinked up to the circle for the start, and tried to convince the Hash he’s been here all along.  Even going as far as declaring he couldn’t be archived!

It was a record temp for Calgary for this day of the month, a fast and flying trail, and a whole big pack of very thirsty Hash House Harriers hit the regroup, including RIP from Lagos, Nigeria and Hello Titty from Montreal kennels.  Beer was there to slake the thirst of the harriers, and we could continue on to Styx pub for the On-In.  Poor RIP was used to regroups being every block a half he informed us.  Then we realized when its 1000 degrees C, that’s just survival!

Tracey/Shirley/Sheila was named Slow Clap.  And (Jerry?) – aw well it doesn’t friggin matter whatever his street name was, for he is now Manscaper as far as any of us are concerned.

Even with a nice straight forward trail, Skewbic Hare, Shack Shock, and Can you Hear Me Now STILL had to run a lateral trail INSIDE the set trail

King Shit apparently is looking for friends in all the wrong places, as its rumoured that without trusty Silver on trail due to the heat, King bought RIP a big honkin Schooner to buy a friend!  KS was so out of place without his sidekick, he forgot the Hash Shit… AGAIN!

Religious Adviser Dementia generously kicked in down downs to Pink Meat and Master Beater so a vehicle could better be afforded rather than having to cover the long distances they have been doing on weekends

Rubbermade has a new dating technique… she is contacting handymen in the town of Calgary and informing them she has a job for them.  First however, she needs a picture of their hammer.  Unfortunately, I think that line mostly only works in porno movies, and she’s going to have to put in at least half an effort.

The choral ensemble of Roaring Nancy, King Shit, and Lost in Space rarely lost a beat (as long as you consider Lost in Space always has his own beat!)

Dementia declared everyone “on the piss”.  With huge Schooners in our hands, who were we to argue?

On-On!

Master Beater

 

A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers