Hares : Twisted Sister, Rubbermade
Where: Rosemont Community Hall
On-In: The Local 390
Big Rock: is fabulous!
Attendance: 38
Double Deuce Hashmas!
What a bunch of naughty, naughty, naughty girls and boys!
A great trail set by Rubbermade and Twisted Sister complete with Christmas Light displays and booze from a straw regroup – such a classy group!
Despite a trail looping through wonderland, Scrooges Dastardly and Hot Cheeks were heard not quite ‘ere out of sight, “This is want happens when girls set trails” and the standby favorite humbug, “Who set this shitty trail?!”. The latter one earned the head shit for one Ms Cheeks.
Baby was unimpressed with the lights and distractions, and was later spanked with a down-down by the RA for being a, well, a Baby about the Hash Hold being so long!
The run was not without controversy, as Not Too Deep and King Shit mysteriously disappeared during the run, and just as mysteriously reappeared in the same parked car in a seedy little corner of the hockey rink lot.
Not a surprise really, since Cocktail was wearing Rubbermade’s Tutu… or Rubbermade was wearing Cocktail’s… oh never mind.
Men O Pause tried to lighten the lack of Christmas spirit by handing Sucks Everything the keys to his new house (but not the double secret password to lower the drawbridge or the code to type in that would raise the wrought iron gate with spikes blocking the entrance to the alabaster marble driveway). Strange that he would entrust the keys to the castle to Sucks, who was incapable of remembering to drag the hash stick during the hash, but a naïve pause and his house are soon parted…
Mmmm Lady Fingers and Cam Shaft showed up to provide some added cheer, and it was fitting that the Christmas 22 Hash was held at the Hash fav bar, Local 390.
Cam Shaft showed up to pull his 100 run gift mug from under the tree, and hashers attempted to hold off a mid-winter’s nap as they waited, waited, and waited for Master Beater to sip his half yard for 200 runs. The Pink-Beater daughter, Savannah perhaps should have stood in for him based on her chug of the remaining liquor at the Re-Group?
As I saw it, there was hardly a dry eye in the house as i-Prick, Skewbic Hair, and Master Beater caressed the hash’s ears with beautiful holiday influenced hash songs. There had not been a finer trio since Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, and Dean Martin crooned the very same tunes – in fact the resemblance of i-prick and Skewbic Hair to Sinatra and Martin was really uncanny! Those that disagreed were probably just bitter old Scrooges.
Hardly masterfully shared the spirit of the season as the night’s Baby Jesus R.A., awarding Christmas mini-half yards to Lost in Space and Can You Hear Me Now, and had a lot of harrierettes and hashers reach in to feel around his sack to see what would come out.
Desmond Tutu/Gomer Piles lost his crown, Goes Both Ways his balls – both on trail
Hash Mattress Rubbermade was presented her very own shiny New Year hash shit for what we hope will be her future great work on running the hash!
Near the end, as with all holiday parties, this one fell completely apart. Shakespeare and Lay ‘em in Snow sacrificed an innocent pineapple with the help of a Local staff’s samurai sword to bring in a Pineapple Express of snow. It should be noted it didn’t work, and a poor pineapple was chopped mercilessly for the folly of drunk super-slurrin-stitioned Shakes and Lay’em.
I still don’t know why we needed to bring 2 “#2’s”… I carried a pair around all night and no one collected them, and Pink Meat complained they stank all the way home. I’ll never understand Christmas, or the Spirit of the Hash completely I guess.
On On!
M. Beater