RUN 2326 – Lost in Lakeview SW

Hares:  Dastardly and Skewbic Hair
Location:  Bella Roma Restaurant & Pub, Calgary, AB
https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A
RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 19

Trailway to somewhere!

The Beginning

As there was a gap in the trail setting calendar, On-In volunteered Skewbic Hair to fix that problem. As Scoobie is about to go away for 5 weeks on vacation, something including the World InterHash in NZ, he capitulated. As such, the plan was to set trail in Cedarbrae with On-In at Swigs Pub. Who knew Swigs was closed on our Hash night for a private function. Plan B.

Bella Roma Restaurant & Pub is the gateway to the warren of interconnecting pathways through Lakeview Village. Trails have been set there before, but no trails are the same. Dastardly volunteered to plan the trail, as he has time. Trail was set conveniently after a significant amount of snow had fallen on the very slippery ice that lurked below. No problem, just wear your spikey shoes.

The weather was good and the hashers assembled in the pub. Assessing the food and drink specials for later consumption. We got settled in as the group began to arrive.

All is good, and we proceed outdoors to circle up, which was lead by our co-hashmatress PMS.

No pictures of the hares going through their extensive and detailed explanation of the marks and the use of “yellow” flagging. As the hare is also the photo guy, not surprising. Marks were big and small, Some on low horizontal surfaces while others were on the tree trunks (hard to find). Playgrounds were in the mix. Alas, the pack was dispersed with the runners charging off into the darkness to find trail.

The Trail

The fresh snow made for some slogging through the pathways. Some homeowners are good with snow removal, while others are not. A combination of fresh and stale marks (from the previous Daisy Duke trail) were sufficient to get the pack on-on.

After an overabundance to playground enthusiasm, the trail continued on through the back alleys of Lakeview. Apparently the legacy Beer Near mark from Daisy Duke was followed. As such, the pack make their own trail as they finished off at the regroup. Several carefully laid marks from the hares were not seen by the pack. So sad….

Regroup discovered, and all was made right.

Regroup action

The Ending

Back to the bar after sufficient regroup refreshments were consumed. The group found a place to sit and order whatever they wanted. Great anticipation for the down-downs soon to follow.

The Down-Downs

Hump the Shark, our RA coordinator, is responsible for coercing unsuspecting hashers to volunteer for the illustrious Religious Advisor (RA) duties at the end of the run. Making up stories, citing offences, and generally providing entertainment for the hashers that live for this.

The lack of a volunteer means Hump the Shark gets to do the RA duties. I think he likes this as he does a great job, and doesn’t seem to whimper too loudly about doing this again.

A choir of Hot Cheeks and Strap On Cramp On were a bad choice, as they steered the song selection off the rails. This could become a reoccurring gig as they progress their singing and dancing careers!

The hares were thanked for setting a fine trail. Many offences were brought up and acknowledged. The hash shit was dispensed with appropriately. All crimes were settled!

Down Downs done, we are now On The Piss!

On the piss!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair! Volunteer scribe for the next 5 weeks. Let’s see how that works out!

The Trail

The trail was about 6 km in length. Extra drama with the snow and ice.

Run 2325 – Robbie Burns Run

Hares:  Hump the Shark

Location:  The Berwick Public House SW

356 Cranston Rd SE #1010, Calgary, AB T3M 0S9

https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A

RA: On-In

Attendance: 18

The Beginning

A run in the deep south is always something to look forward to. As the city spreads out and consumes farmland, new neighbourhoods spring up on land that was unknow to the GPS.

Cranston is one such neighbourhood. We were happy that the Berwick Public House is there and able to host the run. The weather has been surprisingly warm, which makes for some really good slippery sections as the snow melts onto the sidewalks.

The theme for the run was Robbie Burns. It would have been his 266 birthday on January 25. Celebrating all things Scottish for this legacy poet, As such, there was a toast the Robbie Burns (with McClelland’s Scotch) at the beginning of the circle.

Robert Burns, also known familiarly as Rabbie Burns, was a Scottish poet and lyricist. He is widely regarded as the national poet of Scotland and is celebrated worldwide.

The pack assembled inside the Berwick Public House, waiting for the call to go outside. They had a section put aside for the group which seem to be well suited for our needs.

Eventually, we headed outside to start the run. The group clustered around the streetlight outside the front door of the pub and waited for a signal from On-In to start the circle. Some Scottishness was observed in the circle!

Hump the Shark was brought into the circle to describe the marks he had marked the trail with. A walkers trail was identified! Extra effort to do that.

The pack was released into the wilds of Cranston for find the marks.

The Trail

Multiple check backs started the trail. After much milling about, the pack was finally looking like they found something. The ice and slush mixture on the roads and sidewalks was delightful to run in.

After much running around in a circle, we realized that Cranston is nothing more than a big circle with a couple of pathways behind the houses to try and hide the fact….it is a big circle.

Eventually, the regroup was discovered. Happy hashers with beverages.

Regrouping in style.

The End

We made are way back to the Berwick to get set up for the closing ceremonies. We had the foresight to get a reservation which made it all seem worthwhile.

The group found a place to sit and ordered refreshments and food prior to the Down Down’s start.

On-In was the Religious Advisor. The kick things off, a taste of haggis for the culinary crowd in the group. The question to answer is…”how can this awful collection of meat parts taste so good?” There were some come backs for extra helpings.

With the goodies dispensed with, a choir was appointed. Slow Clap and Hardly were called into action. A series of down-downs transpired with much song and merriment. It is difficult to keep track of all the offences, but there were a few.

Eventually, we were all done. On the piss

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

More than 6 km. Even more for the FRB’s.

Run 2324 – Pyro Saves the Hash – Tu Tu Run

Hares:  Pyro

Location:  Silver Point Pub & Eatery

5720 Silver Springs Blvd NW #8, Calgary, AB T3B 4N7

https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A

RA: Daisy Duke and Lazy Cummer

Attendance: 19

Rocking the Tu Tu on January 22

The Beginning

Thankfully, Pyro has recovered sufficiently from some health issues to enable him to continue down the road to recovery to setting the hash trail. We are thankful that Pyro, once again, for saving the Hash from obliteration by stepping up and volunteering to set trail. A good role model for those with an interest in setting trail.

And what it trail it was! Tu Tu’s were present in abundance to acknowledge that this run was happing on a 22 day of the month. Take notice that another Tu Tu run appears in April 2024. Get your Tu Tu’s in order!

The group assembled in the Silver Point Pub & Eatery in Sliver Springs NW. Warm inside and not too busy. A fine location to host the Hash!

The circle was called and hashers assembled outside . On-In lead the circle and went through the formalities of getting things ready. Hash enthusiasm was high anticipating another epic Pyro run.

Pyro was called into the circle to explain the marks. Fairly standard markings with “H” being “on trail”, circle is a “check”, X in a circle is a check “back”.

The Trail

With the pack released, off we go through the wilds of Silver Springs NW. A neighbourhood with many views, vista’s and ravines. Surprisingly, there is also some elevation change as we headed north. Nose Hill comes to mind. Nevertheless, full use of markings on the lamp posts and sidewalks as we continued on our road to discovery of the true trail.

Through the neighbourhood, some features were observed. Apparently it is common the convert your front yard into an ice sheet. I suppose your could make your own ice cubes if your refrigerator can’t do that job. Views of the Ski Hill were extraordinary. With the right gear, you could venture down the hill, across the river, and go for a ski!

The terrain offered a variety of both downhill and uphill. It seemed that the uphill sections were long and hard. As the hare had chosen a counter clockwise direction, the uphill near the end encouraged us to find the regroup.

Regroup

Like a beacon of light, the parking lot with the regroup vehicle were eventually found. The beverages were offered at the perfect consumption temperature. No beer slushy was observed. Much mirth and merriment ensued until it was time to head back to the bar for the next facet of our adventure.

Off to the pub for the down-downs…

The Finish

The hashers were happy to come in from the cold and enjoy the hospitality that the Silver Point had for the group. We added to their number of happy patrons that evening. People figured out where to sit, what to eat and what to drink.

There was evidence of exemplary beer pouring with just the right amount of head.

Down Downs

Apparently Daisy Duke, with help from Lazy Cummer, were appointed to run the down down’s. They spent a considerable amount of time making up stories, lies, and other citations for those they hand singled out in the group for special treatment. First order of business was to select the choir!

Much celebratory enjoyment was delivered to individuals selected to receive rewards, as evidence by these pictures!

A fine run with a fine finish. We almost forgot to give the hare a down down, but that problem was resolved.

On the piss!

Scribe by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

Close to 5 km, including uphill and the views.

Run 2323 – TT Memorial Run #2

Hares:  Dastardly and Skewbic Hair

Location:  The Station – Pub and Grill (Riverbend SE)

40 Riverglen Dr SE, Calgary, AB T2C 4L5

https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A

RA: Tighty Whitey

Attendance: 17

Thunder Tits Memorial Run

The Beginning

For those of you that are stranded on a beach in Hawaii, or enjoying the climate of Costa Rica, you may not appreciate that Calgary has been treated to a multi day Arctic Vortex weather experience, complete with temperatures colder that you can imagine (-35 C+). As such that though of setting a trail that no one would run was a daunting task. However, Dastardly made a deal with the weather gods and arranged for a heat wave to boost the temperature to something like -14 C, which seems positively warm compared to recent numbers.

The trail, the Second Annual Thunder Tits Memorial Run, was planned for the Riverbend neighbourhood in the SE. Through clever use of the walkways, Dastardly (with help from Map My Run, created a trail of modest distance, taking in the maximum number of playgrounds (7), through the area that TT used to call home. Many a memorable hash event had been hosted at the TT mansion, backing onto the greenbelt.

As the trail was set “the day of” the run, we were able to forewarn The Station that we planned to show up. They were happy to allocate us some space and give us some “team” perks as well! Trail was set in the warmth of the afternoon, a end of trail setting beverage was had and all was well.

At the appointed hour, hashers began to congregate inside in the warm. Eventually, we were called to circle up outside in the dark.

PMS ran the circle by going through the opening formalities including the “toast” to the memory of TT. The Hares were introduced and proceeded to describe the marks, the colour of the flagging, and the features to the trail that had been set, including the fact that there were 7 playgrounds to enjoy.

The Trail

The pack was released into the wilds of Riverbend. A few check backs at the beginning set the tone for the fun to be had. Eventually, true trail was found and the hash was away.

As the pack continued through the neighbourhood, many natural hazards were observed. With the cold weather, the numerous snow snakes had come out of hibernation posing a tripping hazard to the hashers that were not paying attention. Some were orange, some blue, green and yellow .

As the trail continued, more playgrounds were enjoyed. Hump the Shark showed how the clear the slide, should there be a snowdrift blocking your way. Here is the “before” picture.

Select the link below to see the “real deal”.

https://1drv.ms/v/s!AjBXhmGuwXLAid1MArB0udW7wqYxwA

More parks, then the sign of the regroup was found, and there was much rejoicing as the regroup was enjoyed. No beer slushy this week!

After we had had our fill of beverage, back to the Station to complete the evenings frivolities.

The Down Downs

The group found their way to the warmth of the Station to enjoy food and refreshments!

Tighty Whitey volunteered to be Religious Advisor. The beer was poured and ready for action. Apparently he is practicing advanced techniques in self mutilation, with some sort of bicycle equipment related injury.

The ceremonies started with the hares being acknowledged for their trail. In addition, they were also volunteered to be choir. Much responsibilities for one run….

A variety of offences and misdemeanors were called out. As part of the program, each down down had to guess what type of self mutualization TW had inflicted on himself in order to achieve his new look. Quite entertaining.

A fine time was had by all. On the piss.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

Close to 5 km’s.

Run 2322 – Spank the Monkey, Princess

Hares:  PMS (Princess Monkey Spanker)

Location:  The Mash – 17 Ave and 5th ST SW, 1535 5 St SW, Calgary, AB T2R 1P2

https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A

RA: Snevil

Attendance: 17

View Point – Included with Run

The Beginning

Prior to the arrival of the great deep freeze, PMS decided this would be a good time to set trail. Being a beltline resident, she decided to start the trail in one of the trendy new pubs that proliferate this part of town. The Mash (on 17th) were happy to have a crowd to fill up the venue on a quite Monday evening.

With a cool urban location, the associated parking challenge became apparent as the hashers began arriving in earnest. Parking many blocks away enabled some to count steps in addition to the run. The early arrivers engaged the staff in chit chat, in an effort to enlighten them what would transpire after the run was over, and we return to eat and drink!

The remote circle was across the street in an adjacent parking lot. Fine place for the group to congregate in anticipation of what the hare had in store for us.

Everyone seems so happy to be here, with tempered appreciation of the tremendous trail that PMS had planned for us. This start location is at the “bottom” of Mount Royal, and it was slippery but not absolutely freezing cold!

On-In ran the circle. The Hare (PMS), went in to great detail explaining the marks. In her rush to get us going, she neglected to mention the copious amount of orange flagging that were instrumental to following the trail.

The Trail

With the pack released, they wandered off in search of marks. Some marks were found and the trail covered streets, pathways and hills. Slipperiness was abundant, and some hashers (Slow Clap) went down on trail, leaving a lasting impression.

The orange flagging was instrumental navigating the pathway maze by the Glencoe Club. Some hashers got lost, while others just gave up and returned to the start.

There were parks and stairways involved, and many lovely streets as we explored the Mount Royal neighbourhood.

Eventually, a regroup was found, and all were happy. The beer was at a slushy temperature, making it more challenging to consume.

Down Downs

Snevil was appointed RA and proceeded to deliver a fine program.

Happy hashers ready to pack it in for another week. Of note was a special verse of El Camino that was created just for PMS given her offer to host the regroup….in the front. More to follow !

Following is the original verse of El! Camino for PMS:

She took us to the back, the she took us to the front. She had us in her rear , then she had us in her…..El! Camino El! El! Camino”

Original material from : The Duke of Daisy, the Shark of Hump, the Shit of King …. with assistance for the Hair of Skewbic

On the piss.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Trail

Something like 6 ish km’s

Run 2321 – Tacky Formal New Years Day Run

Hares:  Dastardly and On-In

Location:  Weaselhead Bar & Grill, 4604 37 Street SW #30, Calgary, AB T3E 3C9

https://maps.app.goo.gl/6mptayfNwu4rTJD1A

RA: Tightey Whitey

Attendance: 21

Welcome 2024!

The Beginning

As the Tacky Formal New Years Run is a long standing tradition for the Calgary Hash House Harriers, we were pleased to have Dastardly and On-In agree to set this trail. Come out in your finest tacky formal wear (or christmas present box outfit) to run in the new year.

As New Years Day follows New Years Eve, it was not unexpected to see some sluggish hashers turn up somewhat worse for wear and tear from the prior evening. Some elegant and tasteful attire was present for those that made the effort.

A bright sunny day for the run, however, the New Years Eve rainstorm had an impact on the marks that had been set. A bit of touch up was necessary, which provided On-In an opportunity to start into the multiple celebration beverages that would be the signature for this trail.

The parking lot of the Weaselhead Pub was suitably ice covered and glistening in the sun, a harbinger of the crappy footing we had in store.

A circle eventually formed and we were ready to kick this off!

The marks and final instructions provided by On-In prior to the pack being released. Special marks…24 means your are on. 23 (in a circle) is check back. Special marks to create a new level of confusion. Mostly Abu Dhabi, except where it is not.

The Run

From the parking lot, the pack was released. Being careful not to succumb to the slippery conditions, the pack found the marks (recently refreshed) to head them in the right direction. The walkers were given some notional instructions on where to find the next regroup, and they were off as well.

Apparently there was a third regroup on trail, which was found by some, but not by all. Some confusion on where it was, relative to where we were was unresolved. As such, there was an advance party of walkers that arrived that the 4th regroup at the KAYAK. Sadly, we did not have keys, so if was access denied until the rest of the pack showed up to let us in!

Final Regroup

Regroup with long shadows.

The Down-Downs

Tightey Whitey was the religious advisor for the down downs. He donated the roof of his car to used as a staging area for the refreshment required. Not exactly flat, but it did the job.

Ski box becomes art!

Tightey had taken notes and proceeded to deliver the ceremony. No choir, but the group was able to remember just enough songs to fill in the requirements.

As the down-downs progressed and the sun gave way to shadows, it was declared “on the piss”, to retire to the nicely heated Weaselhead Pub and Bar for further celebration.

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

The Trail

Somewhere between 4 and 8 km, depending on your route and check backs.

RUN 2320 – Boxing Day Boxer Shorts Run

Hares:  Hardly and Twisted Sister

Location:  Chez Hardly and Twisty, Beddington, NW Calgary

RA: Stool Stuffer

Attendance: 19

Boxing Day Run!

The Beginning

With the calendar enabling to have hash after hash after hash, it was now time for the traditional Boxing Day – Boxer Shorts run. Hardly and Twisty volunteered to set trail and host the crew of runners and walkers who had not yet succumbed to the over abundance of Christmas cheer, given that Monday was Christmas Day…. and there was a run to be had!

The weather cooperated and it was a warm, sunny day well suited for an afternoon run through the wilds of Beddington. Temperatures in excess of 10 C were observed on the drive up to the run. Global warming is adorning the hard packed ice and snow with a delightful layer of meltwater, just perfect for loss of traction.

The group parked on the street and assembled on a sunny driveway across the street. Dirty Dancer and Mouthful are used to their sunny driveway being overrun by hashers, so did not call the police to remove the unruly gang of anxious and loud hashers.

Boxer shorts fashion show.

Circle up was called, and On-In lead the group through the opening ceremonies. Hardly described the marks for the run, confirmed that the run conformed to the Abu Dhabi convention, and to disregard any ancient marks from previous trails set in the neighbourhood. B was the letter of interest for those following true trail.

The Run

The pack was released to find the true trail. Of course the first long downhill segment lead to a check back. After much milling around and discovering other false trails, evidence to the true trail emerged.

There were playgrounds to be enjoyed. Hardly had selected a portion of the neighbourhood that was rich with PG’s. Unruly hashers took to swinging, teetering, and shopping cart thrills. I do not suspect we will be welcome back.

Finally, after an exhausting trail, the end was near. BN spotted on the post meant that beverages would soon be available to quench our overpowering thirst. A crowd gathered on the sidewalk in anticipation of refreshments to follow.

Regroup and Down Down’s

In spite of global warming, the regroup was held indoors so we can bask in the shadow of and warmth of our carbon footprint.

As we enjoyed our beverages, the call was made to a spontaneous RA to do the closing ceremonies. Stool Stuffer did not decline quick enough and was elected to conduct the down downs.

The group packed into the section of the house that was beer spill resistant, and Stoolie launched into his program. Choir…. whoever could remember a song. Content? Clever hand off to the down-down recipient to select the next victim. A fine display of mirth and merriment, in keeping with the drinking season we are in the middle of. Down down to the hares and hosts, down downs for the check back champions, Christmas sock wearers and best boxers. Blue Balls has chosen to be the fastest runner in the hash! Another down down. It keeps on going until On-In declares “on the piss”.

Serious group worried about being singled out for crimes and offences

And the winner is! Best shopping cart adventure ride of the trail.

Best shopping cart ride ever!

The Trail

Something close to 5 km in the warm sunny weather!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

RUN 2319 – Ho Ho Ho! Christmas Day Run

Hares: Snow Blower and Bootie Camp
Location: The BooBlow’s new pad
RA: Hardly
Attendance: 16?

It’s not often that Christmas falls on a Monday. In fact since the start of the Calgary Chapter of the Hash House Harriers, Christmas has fallen on a Monday exactly 6 times: in 1989, 1995, 2000, 2006, 2017 and 2023.

This year, Snow Blower and Bootie Camp were gracious enough to open their doors (AND CLOSE IT!! DON’T LET THE CAT OUT!) to host this true Hashmas miracle of a run. Snow Blower promised that it wasn’t long. I guess he’s a grower, not a shower, because it went on for longer than any of us expected. Still, it was just the right length on this beautiful winter’s day.

What else happened?
* Dastardly brought RG beers as well as an assortment of his own personal collection of Christmas themed booze (think Candy Cane liqueur and the such).
* The archived Davidson family graced us with their presence. With any luck we’ll see them again at next year’s Stampede Hash.
* Liquor Quicker also made an appearance though she hadn’t been gone long enough to warrant her the title of “Archive”.
* PMS and Strap-On looked as cool as ever.
* Hardly stroked pussy (and it liked it).

On On
PMS

A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers