Hare: Insane Bolt (with some scouting from Pyro)
Where: Pazzer’s Pub, Calgary, AB
RA: The Monarch of Feces
Insane Bolt, with the help from his daddy-in-law, set an epic trail today. The hare, as his name suggests, doesn’t like to stick to pavement and favours shiggy and unreasonably long trails. His ?papa? (Downton Abbey accent) is also a ballbuster of sorts.
This trail was in fact sooooo long and hard (a bit of an exaggeration), that only three hardcore hashers managed to run the whole thing. So here are the names of the three valiant True Trailers who – apparently – deserve a f*ckin medal:
? Snevil ?
? Cums and Goes ? (and he hadn’t cum in so long!)
? Rashy Bush ?
Some hashers opted to shortcut their way to the regroup. That’s the smarter way to hash, if you ask me…. Slippy Thong is one the geniuses who’s figured it out.
The hare being such a ✨class act✨provided a drink stop (take note, future hares! That’s how we like it – although preferably not with Fireball, ewww!)
It is said that Snevil may have overindulged, and despite running true trail, ended up being both an FRB1 and DFL2 after losing her momentum on the way to the regroup.
We had a new cummer: Jim. Let’s see if we can make him cum again!
Walkers had a bit of a moment and paid their respects to fellow hasher Kawky Whorer. They did so by basically sitting on him. I’m sure he appreciated it.
Meanwhile, back on the running trail, our athletes were giving it their all:
Skewbic Hair took lovely pictures of the vistas and the many non-true trailers:
King Shit RA’d and rightfully shamed relative noobie Va-JJ for wearing new shoes hashing. Once again, for the people in the back: you do not wear brand new runners hashing, or they will be anointed with swill.
??? (Princess Monkey Spanker)
1 FRB = Front Running Bastard
2 DFL = Dead Fucking Last