Hares : Lofty Prancer and Masterbeater
Where: Pizza Bob’s, 2610 Kensington Road Northwest
Religious Advisor: King Shit
In the circle, Mucky Dip invited the hash to a weekend charity run. There will be free headlamps. Mucky wants you to run in the cold night air. She wants to see your headlamps.
The hares drew an incredibly complicated series of trail markings on the pavement. Snevil was heard loudly whining and we feared that her tiny head would explode. Rumour has it that “coach” Masterbeater forgot that he was at the hash and not sketching out plays for the J.V. boys football team. However Lof-T Prancer and Masterbeater included boob checks on their trail, so they were not awarded a hash shit for this offence.
King Shit conscripted Hardly, Rubber Maid and Snevil to the down-down choir, because they actually know the down down songs.
Visitors were Sara from Australia, Rumple Dickskin from Edmonton and Rich from Chicago (insert obvious joke here).
Baby and his ankle went down on trail
Twisty got downed for trying to get me to take pictures of her bumper. All she could talk about was how she got rear ended by some guy last week.
Shakesbeer drank the 1/2 yard to celebrate his 150th run with the Calgary hash. I guess he has nothing better to do on a Monday night.
Flash Pants and Running Dry got down downs for their comings and goings. Flash Pants is moving to Montreal without permission. Running Dry came back from somewhere warm and forgot to bring the weather back with her.
Snevil was down downed for the aforementioned whining. Which brings us back to the Hash Shit…
Masterbeater and Lof-T Prancer had narrowly escaped the Hash Shit because… boobies. They made things even better by scheduling a train to block the trail, forcing us to back to the regroup for a second beer. And then the blew it. They ran out of whiskey before the RA got his share. Masterbeater sealed his fate by claiming it was all Lof-T’s fault.
Melinda joined our “heroes” on stage and climbed into the Onesie of Shame. Not only had she and the boys sported hijab-like headgear on the run, but Melinda also wore a half-mar****n shirt!
Granny Panties stole the Hash Shit from Masterbeater for “distracted hashing”. Men-o-pause says she was so focussed on texting that she walked right past a jumping-jack check and off the trail. (WTF hares?Jumping-jack check?)
…and there were other shenanigans.