All posts by PMS

2299 – Heroes & Villains Live Hare Gong Show

Hares: Qweft-BG & Liquor Lots
Where: LIQUOR Lots’s Lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 27

Today’s hare was “the man with 6 names“. On top of his civilian name, he goes by “Queer Eye for the Brown Guy”, “Qweft-BG”, “Queef”, “Funny Guy” (A Can Crusher exclusive), and “Liquor Lots’s piece of ass”. For obvious practical purposes, I will stick to Queef.

Queef doesn’t often (or ever) hare in Calgary, but when he does, he makes sure it’s a live hare, in an area he barely knows. (Live haring allowed for more time in bed with Liquor Lots). The deed was done “T2 Style” (Edmonton True Trail style): fast and furious. There were boobs checks, dick checks, some getting wet, much trying to find your way around and someone definitely finished first.

King Shit finished dead fucking last and got assistance from a much younger harriette to get him back up at the end.

Regroup and down downs were held in LL’s back lot where Dastardly celebrated his birthday and provided us with delicious iced treats.

Despite a most lovely trail, some people opted out of running/walking and chose to … bash!! (Gasp!) Lots and lots of excuses:
– Dark Side of the Moon’s excuse was that he was too far away to make it on time.
– AP’s excuse was (what else?) RUGBY
– PMS (yours truly) offered no excuse, but you better be sure that it was a good one.

On On!
PMS

2298 – Northern Exposure

Hares: Pyro
Where: Home Depot Parking lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 20

Another Pyro Special. Here are the hash mattress’s tales from trail:

  • 2 archives (or were they visitors? [note from the scribe: archives!]) and a new boot (Chad, Pyro’s neighbour and also an frb/racist*).
  • Dastardly had his 1100th run and downed a large drink of beergarita.
  • Great trail. Tons of ups, tons of downs, lots of near misses (aka tripping and allllmost falling on our faces.

Photos (also from the hash mattress):

[* the shame! We don’t tolerate race-ism!]

On On!
PMS

2297 – The Hash Survival Run

Hares: Dastardly
Where: Marda Loop Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 24

Run #2297 promised to make us wet and hashers were asked to bring a full change of clothes if they wanted to get wet just below the belt (and above, in Sneve’s case).

This run thrown together at the last minute had a few hills, lots of river crossings and even more playgrounds.

To document this momentous run, we have two types of photographers: Karate Klit and Skewbic Hair. I will let you be the judge of their documentary work.

Skewbic Hair:

And Karate Klit:

Looks like everyone had fun though, especially Karate Klit, who let’s face it, must be prelubing heavily before trail (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

On-On!
PMS

2296 – Slutfest 9000

Hares: Booty Blower (Booty Camp + Snow Blower)
Where: Evil Corporation Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: Snevil
Attendance: 16

S-L-U-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
slutty trail (it sucked! – if ya know what I mean)
slutty trail (it blew! – wink wink)

Now this is one run that the scribe is very sorry to be missing. Who doesn’t love a good themed-run? And one themed around sluttiness at that? Come on!

Hashers were asked to dress sluttier than usual for this run. Now of course, most Calgary hashers are pretty slutty to begin with, starting with the hares, of course. Here is a little gallery displaying unprompted sluttiness over the years.

For this run, some (few) people made an effort:

While most remained very conservative (boring!):

Look at this boring lot!

Snevil RA’ed. It’s only fitting as Down Down took place in her office (Evil Corporation Brewing).

On On!
PMS

2295 – How Deep?

Hares: Ménage à Trois, with some minor help from Skewbic Hair
Where: The Royal Exchange, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 25

The run:

The down downs:

On On!
PMS

Thanks to Mmmmmh Ladyfingers for the photos and helpful comments.

2294 – Tequila-mocking bird(s)

Hares: Hot Quicky, Slow Clap & Beer in the Rear
Where: Cold Garden, Calgary, AB
RA: Lying Sack of Shit
Attendance: 22

As everyone knows, July 24th is (US) National Tequila Day. It is unclear why we are celebrating this non-holiday (and a made-up American one at that) but here we are. Maybe it’s ironic, and the harriettes are just mocking it (Sorry. Had to try to explain the run’s title).

Tonight’s weather was reminiscent of hot Mexican summers. Hashers were reminded to hydrate, wear their best Mexican attire, and to be ready for shiggy on trail.

It is said that people got very wet on trail. Was it from the heat? The shiggy? The excitement? Probably all three.

The choir must have had too many tequila shots at the regroup: they decided they only knew ONE SONG, and proceeded to sing it for every single down down (aye-aye-aye-aye, si si senora). (Oh boy, that gets old fast!)

On On!
PMS

2293 – Dastardly does Max Bell

Hares: Dastardly & Roaring Nancy
Where: Max Bell Centre, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 24

Mum’s the word on this run. I have to rely on Mmmmmh Ladyfingers photos and comments (and Karate Klit’s photos (minus the half a dozen tongue-sticking selfies)).

Looks like trail included:
– an Edmonton visitor (Eager Peevert)
– returning newbies
– a new boot (Trevor)
– a survivalist’s mobile home displaying some Hash appropriate words of wizz-dumb

On On!
PMS

2292 – STAMPEDE HASH CAMP OUT 2023

Hares: Cam Shaft and Stool Stuffer
Where: The Rinaldi Estate, CNP, AB
RA: AP?
Attendance: a bunch o’people

This year again, Boss Hog (Hot Cheeks Sr) allowed us rowdy group to squat at his property for a weekend of merriment (debauchery?) and hashing (athleticism?), in that order.

The hares and some devoted hashers went ahead and scouted trail. They made sure to test the quality of the beer in the area. It seems to have met expectations.

Some Edmontonians kindly joined our festivities, and happily took part in the shot ski, the “ice bucket challenge”, and the sleeve too. A “Cone of Shame” is featured in photos but it appears that our guests did not do anything shameful enough to warrant that kind of punishment.

The ice bucket (or whatever it is called) was a treat for the eyes (in some cases):

Only one individual did something so worthy of reprimand that they were awarded a down down with the Sleeve *and* the Cone of Shame.

Tighty Whitey?

Special mention to Hardly, who is clearly the *master* sleeve-drinker [insert cup-drop]

Trail must have been beautiful, judging by the photos.

Fun was had by all:

I take that back:

I doubt this little guy had fun.

And Skewb decided to bring sexy back:

On On!
PMS

2291 – (1st Monday of) Stampede run

Hares: Skewbic Hair
Where: South Glenmore Park, Calgary, AB
RA: Roaring Nancy (by the looks of it)
Attendance: 24

It was a chilly one this Monday night. The weather (and Roaring Nancy’s incessant talking) didn’t deter last week’s visitor Keep on Pumping who came back for seconds and even brought someone with him! It is said that “Not Ready” (left) is a hasher who lives in Calgary! Yet we’ve never managed to make him come. He was just Not Ready. Will he come again?

In a nutshell, here are some other things that happened tonight:

Hardly got lost? Or something to that effect. Anyway, we were reminded NOT to follow Hardly.

Hump The Shark got awarded “Best Dressed” (!)

Pull My Woody celebrated his 300th run.

On On!
PMS