Category Archives: Run

A numbered hash run

Run

#1792 – Bare Balls Run

Hares : Bare Down There & Spitting Balls
Where: Stix Sports Bar, 5255 Richmond Road SW
Big Rock: Swallow it; don’t spit
Attendance: 37

Snevel does the Reverse Cowgirl

See photos from the Run!

Bare Balls Run

More incredibly great weather greeted the Calgary H3 kennel again as they set on a Bare Down There and Spittin Balls run through the neighborhoods near Styx Pub.   It was a straight forward trail, no messing around.  Plenty of trail markings and arrows, and lots and lots of dogs.  Seems the Hash has caught on that Hash Mattress Rubbermade is an animal lover!  Seeing her face glow when either a shaved squirrel on a leash or some type of canine/rodent genetically modified experiment proceeded to shit in the Hash circle…  was priceless!  The whole hash could feel the love!

Lay ‘em and Shack Shock were caught with technology on trail.  And Pink Meat was brought up mostly because the Calgary Hash had not been able to sing the Australian song in way too long of a span.  Bare Down There was downed for the genetic experiment shit in the circle,  and Sucks Everything for whizzing on trail, which is a reason to show off his wanker.

Men O Pause drank a large tankard of beer for his 169th run.  This was important to later in the night as Rubbermade had earmarked Pause as being the one she could hand off the half yard if she ran into trouble.  Her plan had to be changed.

With young guns setting the trail, Religious Adviser Dr. Phil felt compelled to tell some of the best pedophile jokes told in the hash…  assuming it has been done before.

The highlight (and much of the evening) was taken by Rubbermade as she sipped the half yard like it had never been sipped before for her 350th run.

Quickly, the aging Doctor ran out of steam, and suddenly there were copious amounts of free beer for the hashers!   Oh what a great and giving R.A. we have!!

On On!

Master Beater

 

Daisy Duke's beer cup fez

Run

#1789 – Valentine’s Run

Hares : Bare Down There and Granny Panties
Where: Rose and Crown, 1503 – 4th Ave SW
Big Rock: for Lovers… Beer Lovers
Attendance: 29

Valentine's Day

See photos from the Run

Hares Grannie Panties and Bare Down There really showed their stuff in setting the trail.  Love hearts adorned the sidewalks including 17th Avenue, and broken hearts greeted the would be FRB’s that ran the wrong way.   Hardley went wrong in a bad way, and was not seen until the On In.  Hashing is unforgiving at times, and poor Hardley was kicked to the curb after chasing (sorry – “running after”) a reportedly very cute runner that turned out not to be hasher.  So it goes.

A rat, squirrel, or some assumed to be, mammal roamed around the inside of the circle, adding an edgy element before the start.

Roaring Nancy celebrated his 200th run with a large-sized Down Down

American transplant Master Beater, acting as Religious Adviser, utilized his covert “monitoring network” (every American has one), to intercept Valentines messages sent from various Hashers and Harriettes to one another.

The messages as intercepted, though as gruesome and sickening as our kennel, read as follows:

Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.

Roses are red, violets are blue.
If he’s busy on Valentines Day,
the side chick is you!

Wear nothing, not even your bikini
I’ve spilled some gin on my weenie.
I thought this uncouth,
So I’ve added vermouth,
Would you like me to slip you a martini?

Twinkle Twinkle little star.
You should know what you are.
And once you know what you are.
Mental hospital is not so far.

I love you baby,
It’s you I have really missed
But all that time you were away,
I was sleeping with your sis!

Roses are red
Carnations are white
I’ve been to the chemist
how about it tonight!

Roses r crap,
Violets are wanky,
Oooh I’ve just come,
Pass me a hanky.

Violets are blue,
Roses are thorny,
Be my Valentine,
Because I’m horny!

You were so distant
Now we’re as one
Thanks to some duct tape
And a glue gun

 Roses are red.
Sex is elementary.
Let’s call up a friend,
And try double entry!

 Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Zippers are tough
But I have faith in you.

 Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What I thought was vaseline,
Turned out to be glue!

I wish I was your mirror
Hanging on your wall
Cause every time you get undressed
Guess who’d see it all?

 I love you almighty
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie
Now don’t be mistaken
Don’t be misled,
I mean on a clothes line
And not in the bed!

 I wish I were a bar of soap, lying in your hand,
So every time you took a shower, I’d see the promised land…

On On!

Master Beater

 

Run

#1788 – You Light Up My Night Run

Hares : Hardly, Twisted Sister and Snevil
Where: Nose Hill Park – 64 Ave Parking Lot, (64 Ave & 14th St NW)
On-In: Game Time Sports Bar, 6219 Centre St. NW
Big Rock: Brilliant Choice!
Attendance: 28

Can Can

See photos from the Run!

Somewhere out there on Nosehill was a throbbing, glowing stick.  Find your way to the beer, follow your stick.  Many hashers are already accomplished at this, and showed off their talents following the glowers that Hardley dropped from behind.

Something seemed strangely sinister as running back from a check back, resulted in discovering trail that previously wasn’t Jack!

Methinks the Hash was had by a conniving live hare!  A hash of this sort has been recently very rare!

Off he went lickety split, me jumping around trying not to freeze off my stick.

Galloping and hiding, and doing in again,  me wondering why I didn’t at least bring gin

With relief we found it was soon over,  we are at peace drinking beer from a poor man’s Range Rover.  (It rhymed – leave me alone).

Religious Advisor Tighty Whitey handed out penalties and such, but I was drinking and can’t remember much.

So to those I left out, who want to wriggle and pout,  write the next scribe you lazy old sout!!

On-On!
Master Beater

Howwwwwwl!