Hares: Pyro

Location: 2202 Crowfoot Parade, Calgary, AB T2N 1N4

https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZJJXiQt9WLjXURtF9

RA: Lying Sack of Shit

Attendance: 21

The Beginning

Pyro has a significant birthday very close to the run date. As such, we are pleased that he stepped up to set trail in a fashion design to delight and confuse the hash runners. As your birth years increase, what is really important evolves. Setting a hash trail is one of those important things to do. As Pryo has a wealth of hash wisdom he likes to share, he did not disappoint with some of the most challenging marks we have seen in some time. More on that later.

The start point was the LRT parking lot near Scenic Acres/ Crowfoot. As we all know, you need an exacting pin point for the start location and a GPS, or you will not be able to find the run start. Thankfully, the map was good and hashers appeared in good numbers (21) to enjoy Pyro’s trail.

Apparently, there were even more things to celebrate. This run would be 69 for Karate Klit, eclipsed by Camshaft and 300 runs!

On-In ran the circle. Introductions were done and the celebrants acknowledged with special hats. Pryo went through the markings for the run. No surprises, no flagging, no playgrounds and no shiggy. If you find any of these, you are on your own!

The pack was released into the glow of the parking lot illumination to find the marks for the trail.

The Trail

Once we figured out the initial marks, the pack was off like a herd of turtles. Relying on the fast ones to find the true trail, Insane Bolt and Liquor Lots were valiant in identifying trails that were not the true trail.

There was some “check chicken” behavior as not all wished to be sucked into the false trail vortex. All was good until “the ravine”.

The marks near the ravine posed much reflection and confusion. It seemed that all trails lead to a false trail. Much back tracking and second guessing was in order and the pack fumbled around in an advanced state of confusion.

Eventually, one of the smarter hashers suggested that all marks may not be what they appear to be? You have to think past what the marks may indicated, and ask yourself “what was the hare really thinking?”

With clarity of thought, it was obvious that “that” check back was intended chicanery. The run continued, across the street and into the neighbourhoods where other well placed marks were positioned to be found.

Many sights of the impending Christmas season were also observed. It seems that not every has got the e-mail saying no Christmas decorations to be illuminated or inflated prior to December 1.

The Regroup

A 5 km run that took 8 km to actually run was now done, and there was much rejoicing when the regroup materialized. Dastardly was well equipped to handle the needs of the thirst hashers that had run further than the hare had intended.

All is well that ends well!

The On-In – Nottingham’s Pub

Nottingham’s Pub is a long established Silver Springs hang out. We inflicted ourselves on this establishment and they did not disappoint. Did I say “free” popcorn?

The ambiance has sort of a VLT and Sports Bar feel, with Calgary Flames trying to be victorious. We did not let this distract for the business at hand, the “down downs”.

Lying Sack of Shit was appointed as Religious Advisor. He leisurely collected tales from the trail and other meat for his performance of allegations, offences and awards.

Beer Wenching was done to a very high standard by Liquor Lots. She took great pride in getting the levels of the glasses “even”, and well as artful display.

The half yard, honouring Camshaft’s 300th run, consumed a lot of the down-down beer based on volume. Size is important in some things, and beer glasses are one of them.

The ceremony begins. Choir of Hardly and Mmmmm Lady fingers get ready with the selection of song they will perform.

Pyro did a fine job as hare and was serenaded by the choir. At this point, I believe there was one song for all.

Various and sundry down-down’s were delivered to a selection of hashers who were recognized. We did have Batman as a basher. It has been a while since he has been out!

The big award was for Camshaft’s 300th Calgary run. A significant accomplishment that was duly rewarded. Camshaft ha been in beer drinking intensive training, ready to perform. He had arranged for transport home, so time to party like your 300!

Half yard preparation is a specialized task. The preparation involves some “handwork” and “temperature attainment”. Evidence of these tasks is presented here.

Not only was a half yard involved, but Camshaft got to wear a gold party hat, and received a “one-of-a-kind” vintage hash shirt to wear out in public. The training paid off, and Camshaft did justice to the half yard in record time!

Video of this event is included here for all to enjoy

https://clipchamp.com/watch/xRaUqfYMMXl

On the piss….

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Trail Map