Hares: Snow Blower and Bootie Camp Location: The BooBlow’s new pad RA: Hardly Attendance: 16?
It’s not often that Christmas falls on a Monday. In fact since the start of the Calgary Chapter of the Hash House Harriers, Christmas has fallen on a Monday exactly 6 times: in 1989, 1995, 2000, 2006, 2017 and 2023.
This year, Snow Blower and Bootie Camp were gracious enough to open their doors (AND CLOSE IT!! DON’T LET THE CAT OUT!) to host this true Hashmas miracle of a run. Snow Blower promised that it wasn’t long. I guess he’s a grower, not a shower, because it went on for longer than any of us expected. Still, it was just the right length on this beautiful winter’s day.
What else happened? * Dastardly brought RG beers as well as an assortment of his own personal collection of Christmas themed booze (think Candy Cane liqueur and the such). * The archived Davidson family graced us with their presence. With any luck we’ll see them again at next year’s Stampede Hash. * Liquor Quicker also made an appearance though she hadn’t been gone long enough to warrant her the title of “Archive”. * PMS and Strap-On looked as cool as ever. * Hardly stroked pussy (and it liked it).
Location: Rashy Bush and Stool Stuffers Place – Fairview SE
RA: King Shit
Attendance: 21
The Story
The annual Grey Cup football game is the pinnacle of the Canadian Football League season. We plan a special afternoon run prior to the game, the come back to eat, drink and celebrate with a game watch party. This year, however, the home team neglected to succeed in sufficient victories to participate in this years match. As such, the choice was cheering for Winnipeg, or Montreal. A tough choice for those in Alberta.
The Grey Cup
The Beginning
We were blessed with great weather for late November, with temperatures around 10 C. 21 Hashers appeared at the Stool Stuffer/Rashy Bush dream house in Fairview to participate in the trail. The group invaded their space and proceeded to chat and socialize prior to the circle.
Strap On AssessingDastardly BusyTW with his rolling firewoodFun inside – central heating!Chat timeSlippy and LSOS
The Circle
Eventually, the circle was called to order by PMS. There were a number of announcements for the group prior to going through the introductions. Here are a few photos of the circle.
PMS wondering when this will startOn In is number 1Booty Camp and Slippy ThingHump the Shark and Snow BlowerRoaring NancyKing Shit and VinnyRashy and DastardlyKnight Stalker and CYHMNMmmmm and CamshaftStrap On, Huggy Bear and Ba Ba BeerHump the Shark The Marks
The Trail
The hares were released to find the marks that Hump the Shark had set to mark the trail. Not to be confused with the plethora of “F” marks legacy of the recent Full Moon Hash, the primary marking was a “G“, symbolizing the Grey Cup theme for the run.
As the scribe was part of the walking contingent, not a lot to report on the true trail, except is was epic! This neighbourhood has a high level of inflatable Christmas ornaments. It appears the some sort of virus was ripped through the neighbourhood as many unblown Christmas characters were observed. I expect this problem to be solved before the big day.
Walkers ParadeNo Runners in siightStrip Mall ActionDeflated DreamsMore DeflationStoolies Herd
Regroup
After a challenging trail (and walk), the regroup appeared in the backyard of the host’s mansion. A suitable smokeless fire pit was filled with wet wood and other debris with hope of a warm, smokeless fire experience. Drinking and chatting were in order prior the the down downs commencing.
Smoke ProductionRegroup CircleSmokeless OperationSnow Blower displaying some of his ballet movesPMS thinking of MeteorStoolie and Hardly solving most of the world’s problems
The Down-Downs
King Shit was the RA for the down-downs. An great display of wit and humour.
KS did a fine job of appointing On-In to appoint a choir, who were Slippy Thong, Snow Blower and Skewbic Hair. Such talent was graciously appreciated by the group.
A fine set of closing ceremony accusation were dreamed up and some fine singing was delivered. KS even had a cheat sheet to make sure he stayed on track! Apparently PMS has some secret French beer, Meteor branded. She seemed to enjoy it! A taste of home!
A little thin on evidence of the down-down’s as the photographer was tied up with choiring.
Game Watch Party
We snacked and drank and chatted until the Grey Cup football game started. Very impressive number of commercials that had to be watched, interspersed with some football action. The Western guys were winning at half time. The Green Day half time show reminded us how old we are all getting. Stoolie and Rashy put on some yummy food. Epic success! Apparently, the Montreal team produced a victory!
For all those Hashers that chose to travel to warmer climes on the Thanksgiving Day weekend, we can report you missed the warmest weekend on record. The +26 C temperatures, brilliant sunshine, and perfect running conditions means you missed the best Thanksgiving Run and Feast ever. The select group that chose to come and play were not disappointed.
The group arrived to settle into pre run refreshments in the garden area of the run start location. We had visitors from Mexico, long lost hashers, and new people to compliment the regulars!
Hashers gathered on the driveway of Dirty Dancer, who conveniently lives across the street from Hardly/Twisty, and offered his pavement as a starting point for the trail.
Happy hasher who have no clue what is in store for them.
Liquor Lots and Just 10 BeaverDirty DancerPee on and KebabBlue Balls, Twisty and DastardlyStool Stuffer and HardlyRashy Bush and Karate ClitJust 10 Beaver and Hash Test Dummy
In the absence of any current hashmasters, Liquor Lots took charge and conducted the circle. As the Past Master, her organizational skills were still sharp!
Liquor Lots in Action!
A difficult task as it was almost too nice to run. However, out of respect for the hares who had invested countless hours setting a challenging trail for both the runners and the walkers, the group was “off”
The Trail
The trail was marked primarily in “T”, symbolizing the turkey we were all there to enjoy. The oppressively warm weather meant light clothing with not a down vest in sight on any of the runners. The blinding sun was reminiscent of crossing a vast desert. Endless blocks of marks, leaves, pathways and and overabundance of Halloween decorations adorning the lawns of Beddington and Sandstone communities.
On TrailNot SureFast Pace WalkingKC chasing LLThis way?Halloween Try outsI am the best!Shortcut?Party girlsTwisty slideDoes this shadow make me look taller?Modelling for Hallowe’en Gig.
Regroup
Eventually, after al the false trails were explored and no more “T”‘s were to be found, the pack was rewarded with the regroup. A find selection of cool libations and fellowship was enjoyed by all.
LL and DastardlyJust 10 and KCI need a rake for these leavesToo hot!Hot ladies PeeOn Kebab and Linda (new boot)
Down Downs and Feasting
After a satisfying regroup, the pack reassembled in the garden backyard of the Hardly/Twisty mansion to conduct the closing ceremonies.
The usual list of offences and charges were delivered to the unsuspecting group. Karate Clit and Hash Test Dummy were selected for choir duties and did a fine job. Here is an taste of what transpired.
HaresJust 10 for something…
Of note, was a hashers birthday…. On the day! Liquor Lots is now one year older and her significant day was celebrated by the group! Like fine wine, things get better with age.
I believe she is revealing that she is 24….
Feast
What happens at the feast, stays at the feast. Epic amount of turkey, dressing, vegetables, desert, wine and merriment were had by all. Those that were there know how good it was!
Hares: Hot Quicky and Slow Clap Where: Inglewood, Calgary, AB RA: Hump the Shark Attendance: 18
The Calgary Hash saved itself for run 2300 (it went straight from 2299 to 2301, in past weeks). This is why it was able to wear white for this special event. Our hares organized a fantastic pub crawl/trail that took us through Inglewood, the Beltline, Stephen Ave, the East Village and back to Inglewood. We had many beer station on route, to keep our fluid levels up. Trail was – after all – nearly 12k long… On trail we saw three separate weddings and even managed to be featured in one of the newlyweds’ official photoshoot.
They’re so good at finding check backs that they found an old one from weeks ago.Slow Clap was very aware of her nipples.
Trail was expertly set in such a way that runners and walkers came together at the exact same time at nearly every regroup.
We had a solid contingent of noobs, some walkers and some runners. Newbie Nicole proudly announced that the white runners she was sporting were fresh out of the box that morning. Tsk tsk tsk (though the fault is all Hot Quickie’s, as she should have shared Hashing Faux-Pas 101 with her guests.
At least the virgins were all (appropriately) wearing white dresses, which is more than can be said of Dastardly. We’ll forgive him as he made all the jell-O shots and drove the beer station wagon around.
Cock Tale was unanimously voted fairest of them all, with the prettiest dress.
Hump kindly gave PMS his dirty monkey to spank.
The RA picked three highly inexperienced chorists for today’s choirPMS valiantly downed her 400th run half yardHares were NOT sung the Shitty Trail song.
If you weren’t there because you had “better things to do”, it was your loss. You missed an epic run. If you weren’t there because you had Covid, we missed you (but don’t worry, your husband was loud for the both of you).
On On! PMS (This scribe needs a break from scribing. Please come forth and take this on 🙂 )
Hares: King Shit, et Mr Peeeeeenut Where: A.O. Wheeler Hut, Glacier National Park RA: King Shit Attendance: 14 (including muggles/visitors)
No images have surfaced for this special event.
The trail wove through the demolished foundations of a gand old CP hotel and into the woods to a “meeting of the waters” (whatever that means). A live-but-well-rested hare (Mr Peeeeeeenut) waited in a Muskoka chair with liquid treasures for the hashers to enjoy.
Cock Tale has reported another hasher exposing themself (full back, not full frontal).
Hares: Cam Shaft and Stool Stuffer Where: The Rinaldi Estate, CNP, AB RA: AP? Attendance: a bunch o’people
This year again, Boss Hog (Hot Cheeks Sr) allowed us rowdy group to squat at his property for a weekend of merriment (debauchery?) and hashing (athleticism?), in that order.
The hares and some devoted hashers went ahead and scouted trail. They made sure to test the quality of the beer in the area. It seems to have met expectations.
Some Edmontonians kindly joined our festivities, and happily took part in the shot ski, the “ice bucket challenge”, and the sleeve too. A “Cone of Shame” is featured in photos but it appears that our guests did not do anything shameful enough to warrant that kind of punishment.
The ice bucket (or whatever it is called) was a treat for the eyes (in some cases):
Here’s the Dark Side of the Moon!
Only one individual did something so worthy of reprimand that they were awarded a down down with the Sleeve *and* the Cone of Shame.
Tighty Whitey?
Special mention to Hardly, who is clearly the *master* sleeve-drinker [insert cup-drop]
Trail must have been beautiful, judging by the photos.
Hares: “Special Guest Hares” Where: Big Al’s Bar & Grill, Calgary, AB RA: On In Attendance: 18 (16 + two ½ pints)
Oh Can of Beer I hold within my hand Tall, slim and cold Beloved throughout Hashland With foaming heads We see thee rise Ales, Lagers, Draughts and Stouts From locals to imported brews We cannot do without Hares keep our beers Smooth, chilled and cheap Oh can of Beer We run the Hash for thee Oh can of Beer We run the Hash for thee!
On this Canada Day, Hardly came up with a wonderful idea. The “Special Guest hares” were none other than us! This was a pick-up hash were one volunteer live hares the beginning of trail. If (when) he/she gets “caught”, the catcher becomes the hare and so on.
Giving the new hare a head start. (Head? Who say head?)
Despite tropical temperatures, we managed to run close to 6k. Dastardly kindly brought jello shots and ice creams for the regroup, as well as his legendary Beergarita and warm mystery swill!
· Maple – for once – was able to stay for down downs and he got a down down for his 434th run (in lieu of all the milestone runs he didn’t stick around to get his down down for). It suggested (by me) that he get the 400th run award right after PMS (me) gets it, so that she (I) doesn’t have to store it in her (my) condo. · Rashy Bush was noted for her excellent fashion sense in sporting a “French Run” shirt. It’s the little black dress of running shirts; it works for every occasion, if I say so moi-même.
Hares: Hardly, Twisted Sister Guest Hare: Hash Test Dummy (yes, that’s right Hash Test. I too am splitting hares) Where: 2716 16 St SE Calgary, AB On-In: Cold Garden Brewing, Calgary, AB What: Run starting from the run #1 starting point, followed by a picnic and libations. RA: On In/Dastardly Attendance: 41
40 years ago, a couple of accountants changed the face of the Calgary r*nning and drinking scene by starting their own chapter of the Hash House Harriers. Here we are, 2282 runs later, celebrating 4 decades of uninterrupted weekly Monday night trails.
The CH3 was founded by Mike “Oombala” Carr and other accountants, mainly from Clarkson Gordon (now Ernst & Young). “Oombala” got his Hash “training” in Jakarta, Indonesia.
Their first run was on May 30, 1983; starting from The Portuguese Society of Calgary, 2716 – 16th Street S.E., Calgary. There were 15 people at Calgary’s first run and the Hares were Mike Carr and Mike Manderson. Mike Carr now lives (but no longer Hashes) in Houston, Texas. Mike Manderson lives in Aberdeen, Scotland and also no longer Hashes. Stuart “On-In” Crichton is the only hasher left who was at the first run
Today, the hares made us start from the original starting point of run #1. They took us around Ramsay/Inglewood, through grassy patches riddled by gophers. Trail was under 5K and ended near Pearce Estate Park. Unfortunately, Dastardly dropped the balls and forgot to bring the beers to the regroup!
The Hash Gods blessed us with great sunny weather and kindly waited until the end of the picnic to start the drizzling.
Around 40 hashers gathered for this special anniversary run, including two last minute visitors who normally hash in Australia. They are experienced hashers and commented that despite having hashed 5 continents, this was their first time penetrating a gopher hole. Other visitors include Dark Side of the Moon and Bubble Boy from Edmonton. Archives were Krusty, Whale Wanker and Coq Titty.
the HaresLook at those shirts!
Visitors:
Dark Side and Bubble Boy (Edmonton)Dingo Berry and Pussy Willow (Sydney?)
Hare: Dastardly Where: Cat ‘n Fiddle, Calgary, AB RA: Skewbic Hair Attendance: 50!
For this important and momentous event, our hare changed the rules a bit.
This week, trail was no secret. We were aiming for Lem’s house(s) via Queen’s Park Cemetery. Dastardly promised us a long one.
Only a few check backs were set on this special run to allow for extra running/ beer credits (the official exchange rate is 1 mile = 1 beer).
We had an amazing turnout of hashers and plenty of muggles too. People came from far and wide to commemorate our dearest Lem. Whale Wanker came from Lethbridge, Lost in Space from the Hat and Tommy TwoFinger came all the way from Coronation! Flash Pants came from Montreal, although it is said she was in town on business.
The walkers in front of Lem’s last project.
Run started promptly at 7pm too allow for everyone to be back in time for the live entertainment at the bar.
Tim Huss
A slideshow was put together with 293 photos of Lem! Here are 9 of the best:
Lem the handsome hasherLem the skierLem the dog loverLem the Green ThumbLem the Folk Fest volunteerLem the croqueteerLem the beer aficionadoLem the orange food group connoisseurLem the overall good time
Hares: On In Where: Weaselhead Bar and Grill, Calgary, AB What: The hash’s yearly black tie running event RA: Hardly (I think) Attendance: 19
Like every year, hashers emerged in a drunken haze to run amidst a group of their peers in black tie(tes). It is the closest thing CH3 has to a red carpet event.
THE BEST DRESSED. The secret to make it on the “best dressed” list is accessorizing. See below:
roadkillrubber chickensbeers (and a rubber chicken)a fluffy poocha winning smile
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Like, come on… did you even try?
Skewb at least redeemed himself by taking and posting photos of the event.
On On! PMS
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers
