All posts by The Scribe

Run

RUN 2314- Pyro’s Burning Down the House Trail

November 20, 2023 The Scribe

Hares: Pyro

Location: 2202 Crowfoot Parade, Calgary, AB T2N 1N4

https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZJJXiQt9WLjXURtF9

RA: Lying Sack of Shit

Attendance: 21

Celebration Time

The Beginning

Pyro has a significant birthday very close to the run date. As such, we are pleased that he stepped up to set trail in a fashion design to delight and confuse the hash runners. As your birth years increase, what is really important evolves. Setting a hash trail is one of those important things to do. As Pryo has a wealth of hash wisdom he likes to share, he did not disappoint with some of the most challenging marks we have seen in some time. More on that later.

The start point was the LRT parking lot near Scenic Acres/ Crowfoot. As we all know, you need an exacting pin point for the start location and a GPS, or you will not be able to find the run start. Thankfully, the map was good and hashers appeared in good numbers (21) to enjoy Pyro’s trail.

Apparently, there were even more things to celebrate. This run would be 69 for Karate Klit, eclipsed by Camshaft and 300 runs!

On-In ran the circle. Introductions were done and the celebrants acknowledged with special hats. Pryo went through the markings for the run. No surprises, no flagging, no playgrounds and no shiggy. If you find any of these, you are on your own!

Gathering in the glow of the parking lot lights

The pack was released into the glow of the parking lot illumination to find the marks for the trail.

The Trail

Once we figured out the initial marks, the pack was off like a herd of turtles. Relying on the fast ones to find the true trail, Insane Bolt and Liquor Lots were valiant in identifying trails that were not the true trail.

There was some “check chicken” behavior as not all wished to be sucked into the false trail vortex. All was good until “the ravine”.

The marks near the ravine posed much reflection and confusion. It seemed that all trails lead to a false trail. Much back tracking and second guessing was in order and the pack fumbled around in an advanced state of confusion.

Eventually, one of the smarter hashers suggested that all marks may not be what they appear to be? You have to think past what the marks may indicated, and ask yourself “what was the hare really thinking?”

With clarity of thought, it was obvious that “that” check back was intended chicanery. The run continued, across the street and into the neighbourhoods where other well placed marks were positioned to be found.

Many sights of the impending Christmas season were also observed. It seems that not every has got the e-mail saying no Christmas decorations to be illuminated or inflated prior to December 1.

The Regroup

A 5 km run that took 8 km to actually run was now done, and there was much rejoicing when the regroup materialized. Dastardly was well equipped to handle the needs of the thirst hashers that had run further than the hare had intended.

All is well that ends well!

The On-In – Nottingham’s Pub

Nottingham’s Pub is a long established Silver Springs hang out. We inflicted ourselves on this establishment and they did not disappoint. Did I say “free” popcorn?

The ambiance has sort of a VLT and Sports Bar feel, with Calgary Flames trying to be victorious. We did not let this distract for the business at hand, the “down downs”.

Lying Sack of Shit was appointed as Religious Advisor. He leisurely collected tales from the trail and other meat for his performance of allegations, offences and awards.

Lying Sack of Shit armed with a beer and his note pad.

Beer Wenching was done to a very high standard by Liquor Lots. She took great pride in getting the levels of the glasses “even”, and well as artful display.

The half yard, honouring Camshaft’s 300th run, consumed a lot of the down-down beer based on volume. Size is important in some things, and beer glasses are one of them.

The ceremony begins. Choir of Hardly and Mmmmm Lady fingers get ready with the selection of song they will perform.

Pyro did a fine job as hare and was serenaded by the choir. At this point, I believe there was one song for all.

Various and sundry down-down’s were delivered to a selection of hashers who were recognized. We did have Batman as a basher. It has been a while since he has been out!

The big award was for Camshaft’s 300th Calgary run. A significant accomplishment that was duly rewarded. Camshaft ha been in beer drinking intensive training, ready to perform. He had arranged for transport home, so time to party like your 300!

Half yard preparation is a specialized task. The preparation involves some “handwork” and “temperature attainment”. Evidence of these tasks is presented here.

Not only was a half yard involved, but Camshaft got to wear a gold party hat, and received a “one-of-a-kind” vintage hash shirt to wear out in public. The training paid off, and Camshaft did justice to the half yard in record time!

Video of this event is included here for all to enjoy

https://clipchamp.com/watch/xRaUqfYMMXl

On the piss….

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Trail Map

Run, Special Event

Run 2313- Grey Cup Run and Game Watch Party

November 19, 2023 The Scribe

Hares: Hump the Shark

Location: Rashy Bush and Stool Stuffers Place – Fairview SE

RA: King Shit

Attendance: 21

The Story

The annual Grey Cup football game is the pinnacle of the Canadian Football League season. We plan a special afternoon run prior to the game, the come back to eat, drink and celebrate with a game watch party. This year, however, the home team neglected to succeed in sufficient victories to participate in this years match. As such, the choice was cheering for Winnipeg, or Montreal. A tough choice for those in Alberta.

The Beginning

We were blessed with great weather for late November, with temperatures around 10 C. 21 Hashers appeared at the Stool Stuffer/Rashy Bush dream house in Fairview to participate in the trail. The group invaded their space and proceeded to chat and socialize prior to the circle.

The Circle

Eventually, the circle was called to order by PMS. There were a number of announcements for the group prior to going through the introductions. Here are a few photos of the circle.

The Trail

The hares were released to find the marks that Hump the Shark had set to mark the trail. Not to be confused with the plethora of “F” marks legacy of the recent Full Moon Hash, the primary marking was a “G“, symbolizing the Grey Cup theme for the run.

As the scribe was part of the walking contingent, not a lot to report on the true trail, except is was epic! This neighbourhood has a high level of inflatable Christmas ornaments. It appears the some sort of virus was ripped through the neighbourhood as many unblown Christmas characters were observed. I expect this problem to be solved before the big day.

Regroup

After a challenging trail (and walk), the regroup appeared in the backyard of the host’s mansion. A suitable smokeless fire pit was filled with wet wood and other debris with hope of a warm, smokeless fire experience. Drinking and chatting were in order prior the the down downs commencing.

The Down-Downs

King Shit was the RA for the down-downs. An great display of wit and humour.

KS did a fine job of appointing On-In to appoint a choir, who were Slippy Thong, Snow Blower and Skewbic Hair. Such talent was graciously appreciated by the group.

A fine set of closing ceremony accusation were dreamed up and some fine singing was delivered. KS even had a cheat sheet to make sure he stayed on track! Apparently PMS has some secret French beer, Meteor branded. She seemed to enjoy it! A taste of home!

A little thin on evidence of the down-down’s as the photographer was tied up with choiring.

Game Watch Party

We snacked and drank and chatted until the Grey Cup football game started. Very impressive number of commercials that had to be watched, interspersed with some football action. The Western guys were winning at half time. The Green Day half time show reminded us how old we are all getting. Stoolie and Rashy put on some yummy food. Epic success! Apparently, the Montreal team produced a victory!

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

On On.

Run

Run 2312- Where is your Underwear?

November 14, 2023 The Scribe

Semper ubi, sub ubi

Hares: Tighty Whitey with assistance from Lying Sack of Shit

Location: Kilt and Caber Pub, Mackenzie Town SE

53 High St SE, Calgary, AB T2Z 0N2

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xZiShQuqZnHBGc7RA

RA: Roaring Nancy

Attendance: 19

The Regroup not to be missed!

The Story

Tighty Whitey stepped up to save the hash, once again. From a southern start point, close to Okotoks, the run was convened to start at the Kilt & Caber Ale House, the in wilds of Mackenzie Town SE. Who knew that people and communities existed at these southern latitudes? After tackling the traffic circle chaos on the way to the start, all was well. You just had to know where to park, and where the pub was to make this work. Thank Google!

The Beginning

GPS directions did not fail. The group of 19 enthusiastic hashers were present to enjoy the spectacle . Surprisingly, we had a new boot. Ernie lives in the area, and finally decided to determine what this drinking club with a running problem was all about. We have been working on Ernie recruitment through the TGIF sub group, and apparently we have had success! Welcome Ernie to the cult…. He also has a doggy companion, who was also welcome to the group.

Ernie the new boot, with dog and Roaring Nancy — Ernie, the new boot, with dog and Roaring Nancy. RN seems pleased!

The circle took form and the happy hashers were there in style. The weather was quite OK for this time of year, and the group were ready to challenge the trail.

Apparently, there was some complaining about Tighty Whitey’s las trail. Not enough marks….was the complaint. For this trail TW had conscripted Lying Sack of Shit (LSOS) to over mark the trail. As such, the amount of chalk that was deposited on the pathways and sidewalks was enough the have a material consequence in the world chalk supply. As evidence, the following marks were provided.

Most of the group had no idea what these marks were for.

The dumfounded looks can be seen on the faces of the harriers…. The pack was released to attempt to discover the marks that had been laid.

The Trail

After some level of confusion, the marks were found and the pack was off. Mackenzie Town has a pond on the community of Inverness. Who knew that you could feel like you were lost in Scotland without leaving Alberta. The smart hashers soon realized that we would be doing the big circle, with some playground distractions. Where to next?

Regroup

After some confusing marks, whether it was Eagle and Turkey, or Easy and Tough, an option was offered for the trail to the regroup. The smart hashers had already figured this out and cut across to where the trail had to go. The unusual light display was like to beacon to the beer.

The Down Down’s

A short distance from the regroup was the Kilt & Caber Ale House. They had a good space for us at the back of the pub where we could eat and perform the closing ceremonies.

Roaring Nancy was appointed Religious Advisor for the evening.

His first task was to appoint a choir of Hardly, Mucky Dip and Slippy Thong.

Roaring delivered a fine performance of accusation, stories and half truths. Quite entertaining, in a climate controlled environment.

The down-down complete, eating and socializing commenced. See if you can recognize these meals! On the piss!

The Trail (one version)

Scribed by Skewbic Hair

Run

Run 2311- Guy Fawkes & Girl Fox 69

November 6, 2023 The Scribe

A birthday run from VayKay Brew Company

Hares: Hung Loose and Ménage-à-Trois

Location: VayKay Brew Company, Garrison Green

2566 Flanders Ave SW Unit 300, Calgary, AB T3E 7H9

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xZiShQuqZnHBGc7RA

RA: Insane Bolt

Attendance: 27

The Story

We have an amazing story this week. Apparently, we have proof that you can reach a significant birthday, and the world is there to support you. The girl at the balloon shop asked if was a 96th birthday. The answer….. no.

Coincidentally, Guy Fawkes was busy on Ménage’s birthday as well! See the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 for details. A great combination of inspirational events.

The Beginning

Vaycay Brew Company is quite new on the scene. As such, parking is challenging. The smart ones that arrived early were able to park in front, then head into the pub to warm up. Ménage was sporting her digits with pride and anticipation. After a bit of fumbling around, the circle was formed and PMS got things rolling. Hung Loose and Ménage-à-Trois explained the marks and the pack was released

The Trail

The pack dispersed in search of the marks. The level of confusion was apparent as the hares had been very frugal with the initial marks. Eventually, after Insane Bolt had exhausted all options, we found the trail that provided a fine tour of the Mount Royal University perimeter.

Regroup

The secret regroup vehicle was posted within site of the bar. The group was quite spread out, as such, the walkers were there first. The FRB’s next, then finally the balance of the pack. A fine selection of refreshment was enjoyed, prior to the long trudge back to the bar for the closing ceremonies.

Regroup in full swing, waiting for the balance of the pack!

On-In

Insane Bolt was acclaimed as RA by Hump the Shark, after much cajoling at the regroup. As Mr. Bolt is new to the position, he was embellished with the finest RA finery to help him with his task!

The group settled down into eating mode. and waited patiently for the celebrations to commence. There was some troubling art work which caught the attention of the hashers. A revolt was averted!

If you look the part, the rest will naturally follow!

A fine choir was selected, with Lying Sack and Cock Tale providing a fine selection of suitable songs. The hares set a shitty trail, a number of transgressions were celebrated and the birthday girl was honoured multiple times. Apparently PMS has hatched a new hash shit, modelled after herself, and was successful in being the first recipient!

Birthday Girl

The Trail

A couple of opinions on where the run went.

On the piss…

Scribed by Skewbic Hair!

Run

Run 2310 – Halloween Howl

October 30, 2023 The Scribe

An opportunity to find your best costume and try it on!

Hare: On-In and King Shit

Location: Bottlescrew Bill’s Pub

140 10 Ave SW, Calgary, AB, Canada

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xZiShQuqZnHBGc7RA

RA: Skewbic Hair

Attendance: 30

The Story

The run theme was a Halloween Howl, with dressing up encouraged. The plan was to set a run enabling the group to show off their creative costumes and to determine what type of attention they could attract. On-In and King Shit had crafted a run that would entertain us through the beltline and downtown Calgary, with multiple stops along the way!

The Beginning

A good group showed up, mostly in costume. The weather was cooperating so we did not have to have our snow suits on over our costumes this year. The circle formed outside of Bottlescrew Bill’s Pub much to the amusement and entertainment of the local community inhabiting the street and the high rise apartments in the area. Some very creative costume creations…….

We had a new boot, Brent, who was entertained by the antics of the group in anticipation of the run that followed. Announcements and introductions were performed by the Hashmaster, preparing for the trail description from the Hares.

Hashmaster — On-In Conducting the Circle!

Hares tell the pack what they need to know, prior to releasing the pack!

A key consideration is that this trial was multi-stop and involved the use of public transit to successfully complete the trail. Apparently some of these key instructions went unheard for some of the pack.

The Trail

The pack dispersed into the street lit night. The marks were found and the hash was off! First distraction was the firefighters that parked adjacent to our circle. Their costumes looked very authentic, but apparently they were on duty saving the community and could not join us for the run.

First regroup was across town in the shadow of Dicken’s Pub, a location that has hosted many a hash event. Apparently King Shit had recollection problems on where we were going. The sighting of the KAYAK mobile indicated that all was good.

From the first regroup, we were given explicit instructions to get to the C-Trail, take the Blue Line to City Hall, and await further instructions. As there are no rules in the hash, or “you can’t tell me what to do”, the group fragmented into “good listeners” and “free spirits”. Eventually, most of us got to where we needed to go.

At the City Hall C-Train station, we were instructed to make our way to Kak’s Bar & Podcast. A new place in the cool part of town, we invaded the place and enjoyed a refreshment courtesy of the generosity of the Hash group. Refreshments and atmosphere were good. The Podcast thing is something that you can not drink, and must listen to their program. See their website for more details.

The last leg of the run involved another regroup. A spontaneous soccer game was kicked off, as we have many talented athletes in our group. Thankfully, the distance was not far and the refreshments were good? The police rolled by and did not seem to be interested on what we were up to. Quickly done, off the Bottlescrews for the closing ceremonies.

Unintended, spontaneous soccer breakout and Regroup #3…..

The Trail Summary

The Down-Downs

The RA volunteer was Skewbic Hair, who was able to invent enough material for a program. Choir duties handled diligently by Hardly and Roaring Nancy. Many transgressions and offences were observed on trail and subsequently rewarded. Special call out to Little Bo Peep, who was attracting attention from both ends of the Spectrum. Luigi was very popular with his realistic costume, and made a lot of new friends on trail!

Down Down’s done, now on the piss!

Scribed by: Skewbic Hair

Run

Run 2309 – She’s All Right

October 23, 2023 The Scribe

A Winter Wonderland Experience, courtesy of Snevil and Mother Nature

Hare: Snevil

Location: Local Public Eatery Barclay

201 Barclay Parade SW, T2P 4R5

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xZiShQuqZnHBGc7RA

RA: Hump the Shark

Attendance: 14

The Story

Winter is Here!

A bit of a weather change from the patio weather of the previous week. Enjoying libations outside at the Wild Rose Brewery, to full on winter in a numbers of days. The good news is that Snevil managed to carve out a fine trail for the smaller group of enthusiasts that chose to embrace the weather and run through an epic trail.

The Beginning

The Public Eatery, Barclay was a warm refuge prior to the run. Weather, traffic, motivation meant we had some contemplation time inside prior the facing the elements. Snevil spent some time ensuring that the dump of snow did not obliterate all the marks she had set the day before!

The Start

The group assembled in the cool outside location. PMS commanded the circle to order and we went through the announcements and introductions. Then Snevil took charge and described the fantastic run she had set prior to the arrival of the mark obliterating snow.

The Run

After some confusion at the beginning of the trail, a mark or two were observed by the diligent hashers. With the snow falling and the glare from the headlights, the group were able to find enough marks to engage the trail. Thankfully, PMS had the “secret map” of the plan, as apparently Snevil had injured herself remarking the trail, and was not able to enjoy the torture she had delivered to the pack in person. We ran on the trails by the river, over a bridge, through the wilds of Kensington, and or course, a brutal check back up a long set of stairs. Eventually, we made it back through Princess Island Park and discovered where the regroup was hiding.

Regroup

After considerable distance had been covered, we were rewarded with a regroup in the stairs of the Eau Claire Market. Dastardly had beer, cider and hot chocolate for the group. A fine regroup it was.

Down Down’s

To end a great run, Hump the Shark selected a person to perform the RA duties. Hump self selected, a benefit of being the RA coordinator who knows what a fun time is. Various and sundry offences were contrived and much merriment was had by the group. Best snow run of the Fall!

The Trail

Run and down-down’s done. On the Piss!

Your scribe, Skewbic Hair

Run

2308 – A Princess and a Strap-On

October 16, 2023 The Scribe

Hares: PMS and Strap-On Crampon
Where: Governors’ Pub

675 Acadia Dr SE, Calgary, AB T2J 0B8

https://maps.app.goo.gl/fGJr8VCzBD4ZrJNN6

RA: Hump the Shark
Attendance: 33

The Starting Circle

The Story

A fine trail was set by PMS and Strap-On Crampon. Weather was good as we have yet to see snow this fall. Darkness, however, is a thing as the set now sets before the run start. This will only get worse as we drift toward winter.

A good turn out of 33 people. The circle was conducted by On-In who got things rolling. Visitor Rumple Dickskin from Edmonton was welcome.

The radiant and talented tag seem of PMS and Strap-On has big plans for the hash. As evidenced by the size of their chalk, this was going to be a serious run.

Special features of the run included a “Pit Stop”, which mean extra beverages before the regroup! How much fun is that?

The Trail

The marks took us through the neighbourhoods of Willow Park and Maple Ridge. The effort that was put into challenging false trails did not disappoint the front runners. Much confusion was delivered as the marks delivered to streets, parks and back alleys. There was some evidence of the upcoming Halloween celebration, including this guy who was hung up in a tree.

Pit Stop

Friends of Strap On were volunteered to host the group for a Pit Stop. After beer was consumed, we honoured them with a song.

The Pit Stop was followed by a regroup prior to settling down into the pub for the on-in!

On-In

RA Coordinator nominated himself for the Religious Advisors duty. A choir was formed and the ceremony began.

Many offences were called out and rewarded with a down-down. Some of the action is shown here.

Of note, it was a milestone run tonight. PMS has achieved 400 runs and was duly rewarded with a suitable trophy. I sure she will find a suitable location to display this fine piece of art.

On the piss….

Skewbic Hair – Scribe

Run Information

Around 7 km .

Run, Special Event

2307 – Thanksgiving Feast Run

October 9, 2023 The Scribe

Hares: Hardly and Twisty
Where: Hardly and Twisty’s Place

104 Bermuda Way NW, Calgary, AB

https://maps.app.goo.gl/dtrBErx5vzXc33sr9

RA: Dastardly
Attendance: 16

What you missed…..

The Story

For all those Hashers that chose to travel to warmer climes on the Thanksgiving Day weekend, we can report you missed the warmest weekend on record. The +26 C temperatures, brilliant sunshine, and perfect running conditions means you missed the best Thanksgiving Run and Feast ever. The select group that chose to come and play were not disappointed.

The group arrived to settle into pre run refreshments in the garden area of the run start location. We had visitors from Mexico, long lost hashers, and new people to compliment the regulars!

Hashers gathered on the driveway of Dirty Dancer, who conveniently lives across the street from Hardly/Twisty, and offered his pavement as a starting point for the trail.

Happy hasher who have no clue what is in store for them.

In the absence of any current hashmasters, Liquor Lots took charge and conducted the circle. As the Past Master, her organizational skills were still sharp!

A difficult task as it was almost too nice to run. However, out of respect for the hares who had invested countless hours setting a challenging trail for both the runners and the walkers, the group was “off”

The Trail

The trail was marked primarily in “T”, symbolizing the turkey we were all there to enjoy. The oppressively warm weather meant light clothing with not a down vest in sight on any of the runners. The blinding sun was reminiscent of crossing a vast desert. Endless blocks of marks, leaves, pathways and and overabundance of Halloween decorations adorning the lawns of Beddington and Sandstone communities.

Regroup

Eventually, after al the false trails were explored and no more “T”‘s were to be found, the pack was rewarded with the regroup. A find selection of cool libations and fellowship was enjoyed by all.

Down Downs and Feasting

After a satisfying regroup, the pack reassembled in the garden backyard of the Hardly/Twisty mansion to conduct the closing ceremonies.

The usual list of offences and charges were delivered to the unsuspecting group. Karate Clit and Hash Test Dummy were selected for choir duties and did a fine job. Here is an taste of what transpired.

Of note, was a hashers birthday…. On the day! Liquor Lots is now one year older and her significant day was celebrated by the group! Like fine wine, things get better with age.

I believe she is revealing that she is 24….

Feast

What happens at the feast, stays at the feast. Epic amount of turkey, dressing, vegetables, desert, wine and merriment were had by all. Those that were there know how good it was!

Best Thanksgiving Feast Run ever!

On On Scoobie

Run Route (for those interested)

Run, Run

2306 – T&R Orange Shirt Run

October 3, 2023 The Scribe

Hares: Hump the Shark
Where: Courtyard Pub, Calgary, AB

RA: Booty Camp
Attendance: 26

The Story

A fine trail was delivered by Hump the Shark to entertain the hash. In the spirit of Truth and Reconciliation, the runners were encouraged to wear something orange.

The group formed in the North East of Crescent Heights neighbourhood, at the Fiddlers Courtyard, after hunting for appropriate parking. The circle formed and the new Hashmatress, PMS, took charge.

PMS is the New Hash Mattress, supported by On-In… The new regime!

Good attendance and we had a new boot! Rowena, who has connections through the secret ski club, courtesy of Hot Cheeks.

Hump the Shark described the marks for the run, indicating that there were three T&R features to find. The pack muddled off and eventually found the trail, through the Crescent Heights with great views of the city.

PMS sees something going on in that apartment!

Hum the Shark — Waiting for Hashers to find his trail…

We eventually found the trail that lead us through the neighbourhood, which did have some elevation changes. The problem with downhill is there is usually a corresponding uphill. The Reconciliation Bridge was traversed over to the south side of the Bow River.

East Village and Fort Calgary were explored. The new site for the T&R park was observed at the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers!

As darkness settled in, the run continued back over the Bow River to the North Side. Much random trail tracking, with the requisite “false trail” at the top of the stairs in Bridgeland.

Thankfully, for those that ran the alternate trail, the regroup was found without having to give up the elevation achieved from the stair workout. Much mirth and merriment was had for those that were present. Apparently, our new boot was not aware of the regroup, and headed back to the bar. She was educated and made it back for the fun and refreshments!

Finally, back to the bar, refreshments and food were obtained, and the down down’s commenced through the fine work of our RA, Booty Camp. The new boot was acknowledged, Hung Loose finally made 100 runs, and any many transgressions were rewarded with a beverage and a song. Here is a collage of some of the misgivings…..

Of note, is that this date was the wedding anniversary of some hashers who felt it was important to support the club and drink beer on there special day! 24 years of marital bliss….

Skewbic Hair and Mucky Dip celebrating in style…

On-On

Your scribe, Skewbic Hair!

Calgary HHH Scribblings

All posts by The Scribe

RUN 2314- Pyro’s Burning Down the House Trail

Run 2313- Grey Cup Run and Game Watch Party

Run 2312- Where is your Underwear?

Run 2311- Guy Fawkes & Girl Fox 69

Run 2310 – Halloween Howl

Run 2309 – She’s All Right

2308 – A Princess and a Strap-On

2307 – Thanksgiving Feast Run

2306 – T&R Orange Shirt Run

A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers