Run

2187 – Liquor Lots’s Birthday Bonanza Extravaganza

Hares : OPP and Liquor Lots
Where: Liquor Lots’s Lair, Erlton, Calgary
Attendance : 26

OoooOoooh, tonight’s run looks like it was – in Hot Cheeks’s words – a GOODR. She is a little biased though, as she was (as per her own recounting of events) the 🥇WIENER🥇. Hashing being a strictly non-competitive … errr… “sport” (?), she got punished for her race-ism.

Our two hares provided us with a beauty of a trail and delivered on the weather too! There were stairs, ups and downs, bushwhacking and a ton of checkbacks which kept the front running bastards in check(back)! Because … you know… fall, headlamps are no longer optional. Slippy Thong didn’t get that memo and apparently got lost in the bush. Race-ist Hot Cheeks pointed out that Slippy was Dead Fucking Last by a good twenty minute margin. 🎗(Here’s Slippy’s participation ribbon)

Look at this beautiful round number of km’s. Ooooooh baby. 💦

OPP and birthday girl Liquor Lots (Hashy Birthday, Fuck You!)
  • Poppy was named “Pocket Weasel”.
  • These two birthday girls’ ages add up to 100. Math is hard, you figure it out.
  • Mmmmmm Ladyfingers RA’ed tonight.
  • RoaaaAArRrRRing Nancy must have done something stupid.
  • The obligatory MmmmSelfie
  • Look at those athletes! Hard to believe they weren’t the wieners.

On Out,

Cheers!

PMS

(don’t forget me!)

Erections, Run

2185 – Yummy Kippers Run & Erections!

Hares : Twisted Sister and Hardly
Where: Beddington Theatre Arts Centre, Calgary
Attendance : 26 + a baby (for all candidates to kiss)

Monday was Erections Day! The main erection being – of course – the nomination and advent of the hash’s new mismanagement team: a bunch of inept misfits, doing a job they don’t really want to do for very little recognition.

Your new mismanagement, in reverse order of importance, are:

Hashmaster(s) — Our glorious leaders: Lay Em in Snow & Skewbic Hair
Jointmaster Booty Camp
Sexitary King Shit
Under The Influencer — (anti) social media stuff Nev-R-bin _____
Religious Advisor Coordinator Rashy Bush
Haberdasher aka. Hash Trash Daisy Duke
Awardinator Daisy Duke
Beer Meister Stool Stuffer
Beer Wench Snow Blower & Hump The Shark
Hash Cash Slippy Thong, Hot Cheeks & Mmm… Ladyfingers
Übergeek (Webmaster) King Shit
Üntergeek (ass. Webmaster) Skewbic Hair, Snevil, Sucks Everything & Abandoned Pussy
Hash Horn Baby & Daisy Duke
International Membership Recruiter and Remote Scribe Princess Monkey Spanker

But before that, trail was set and, like for every erections, marked with little fishies. Beers and goldfish crackers were also part of the event.

  • The athleticism of the hash on display
  • Lots of pricks on (the campaign) trail

On-on!
PMS

Run

2184 – Oh, HILL NO!!

Hares : The BooBlow (Booty Camp and Snow Blower)
Where: Felker Park, Calgary
Attendance : 27.5 (27 + one half pint)

The Hash’s loudest burpers stepped up to the plate again and gave us the gift of trail. One that could be followed to boot! Thank you.

There are a few pictures available of this week’s trail, although Stool Stuffer’s meat stole the show on the Facebook feed.

A.P did not get the red shirt memo.

This virgin very bravely brought his very small child to his first hash. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Could Booty Camp *be* any more beautiful? I think not.

And now for the main event: Stooly’s meat.

  • the rub
  • post-rub
  • hot and read to go

On out!

Wish you were here,
PMS

Special Event

2183 – The CH3’s Yearly Hiking Weekend

Hares : King Shit
Where: Arthur O. Wheeler Hut, BC
Attendance : 7 (as per BC health measures)

With views this breathtaking, no wonder this event warranted its own run number! (But really, it was only King Shit’s scheme to ensure he secures his lead in “most runs run at the Calgary Hash House Harriers”.)

5 Calgary Hashers and 2 Ottawa Hashers joined in this year’s CH3 hiking event at the ACC Wheeler Hut. It wasn’t all work and no play, though. There were libations too, judging by the photographic evidence left on the Facebook page.

PMS Out,
ON ON!

Shitty Trail

2182 – The Hare & The Purpose?

Hares : Was there one? Lying Sack of Shit said he was…
Where: Joyce on 4th, Calgary AB
Attendance : 10

S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L,
Shitty trail, (It sucked!)
Shitty trail, (It really sucked!)
The motherlover set a shitty trail;
I’d rather drink another beer
Than run your shitty trail.
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L

I guess that’s what we get for entrusting LSOS to “live hare” at the last minute! No one found trail. Thankfully only ten suckers showed up this week (and that’s including the hare!)

Let that be a lesson for everyone! People better sign up to hare.

Run

2181 – The Runny Nose trail

Hares : Snevil and Hardly
Where: Nose Hill, Calgary AB
Attendance : 21

A bit of a bitter sweet event, as Snevil had her car broken into as she was setting trail! The loot? A bunch of hash clothes that would fit literally no one else but Sneevz herself. Oh, and a BEER! They stole a whole can of beer. No scruples, no honor.

We are narrowing it down to a few suspects. The usual.

“Hand me the BEER you f***ing c***sucker.”

The run was no doubt majestic, considering the experience and athleticism of your hares.
Photos and more details will be added if anything is posted on social media. The pack is pretty tight lipped about this one…

On out!

Run

2180 – AP’s afternoon Delight

Hares : Abandoned Pussy
Where: Hull’s Wood, Fish Creek
Attendance : 20?

AP invited the pack to enjoy Hull’s Wood this Monday night. (Who the hell is Hull anyway??) The evening was brisk, so there must have been significant shrinkage.

Regroup and down downs happened at the circle benches – where AP planned to “do cult like things, like sacrifice virgins” (her words). There are not reports of sacrificed virgins, however.

This scribe was not present, so here are some trail reviews found on Yelp:

Hot Cheeks
“Shiggy was on point tonight! Lots of it and a fun trail! Drizzle for the down downs but of course with beer in hand, we did not melt. Thanks AP!!”

Skewbic Hair
“That’s a pretty big piece of chalk!“

I think Skewbie has chalk envy.
  • Your hare, AP
  • What’s going on here?
  • Don’t be jealous of the size of her chalk, Skewb.

On on!

Run

2179 – PMS’s Swan Song

Hares : Princess Monkey Spanker
Where: Boobie Grove (Bebo Grove), 13610 24 St SW, Calgary, AB
Attendance : 30 + 3 half pints

Finally, PMS gets to talk about herself in the third person. She’s very pleased about that.

PMS opted to set one last trail mere days before she embarks on her European adventure. [Wave at the eastbound Westjet flight you see on Friday night (19:30ish)]

The hare was concerned for the pack’s health and well-being (the Air Quality Health Index was at 9 when trail was set), so hashers had the option to keep it short and sweet. Luckily the AQHI went way down to 3 by 7pm so keeners/race-ists were safely able to follow the Eagle trail if they so chose. The trail was absolutely stellar, if I do say so myself.

  • watch for ants
  • the weekly Mmmmh Ladyfingers selfie

Harrierette OPP “didn’t know” about the new shoe rule (i.e. you never wear new shoes hashing) and tried to pull the wool over the RA’s eyes by changing into her old runners for down downs. And a down down she got! From her old shoe! She took it like a champ, though.
Basher Hung Loose showed up after the run in perfectly fitted 501’s and loafers, for which he got the new Hat Shit (Safety Third!). Wanting to atone for his sins, he even volunteered to drink out of his slip-on.

  • Oozy Pizzle Panties
  • Hung Loose

A milestone, a naming and a virgin this week:
• Snow Blower has been blowing for 169 weeks. Lucky Booty Camp!
• Business in the Back’s buddy David will henceforth be known to us as “Lazy Cummer“. He was supposedly too lazy to come when he and B.i.B went off trail and into the bushes.
• Liquor Lots’s friend Alicia came out! She is unlikely to come back, as she is apparently moving to Bermuda! Fuck you, Alicia!

  • Snow Blower
  • Lazy Cummer and Business in the Back

On On (and Fuck off!)

Run

2178 – The Caped Crusader Run

Hares : Dementia
Where: Local 403, 380 Canyon Meadows Dr SE
Attendance : 21

After over a year’s absence (I think?) Harrierette Dementia finally remembered about the hash and even offered to hare. Dementia’s trails are like a box of penises, you never know what you’re gonna get. This one was very short, yet Dementia was convinced that it was twice as long as what we measured.

Dementia also forgot how to mark and used a variety of marks such as batman masks and orange balloons.

A momentous milestone this week: Dastardly entered the new millennium. To celebrate his 1000th run, Dastardly was handed a yard of beer, which he downed with much aplomb.

  • The warm up
  • The size up
  • The bottoms up

In other news, we had a threesome of virgins: newly named “Business in the back” made his friend David come, Never Bin brought a friend (Jen?) and Rashy Bush brought the fruit of her loin (Anna?).

  • 😍
  • They’re alright!
  • Bellini special? Shaaaame!
  • Someone went down on trail

On-On!

A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers