AP likes it hard and long – that’s what she said! No, like, literally… That’s what she said when talking about this trail that she set for us. At first, she looked fairly apologetic that her trail was on the longer side… But then she just let her mean side show, unapologetically, like the asshole she is.
And when the scribe posted her weekly plea for “Scribbling fodder”, AP further proved my point:
Turns out, at least one harrierette survived the ordeal to tell the tale. Thank you Strap On Crampon for your in real time reports.
Men-O-Pause parked like an asshole.There was “a shit ton of running’.”Hardly does trail like a one wolf pack.We had a visitor from Vancouver. This might be him?The Shag’n Wagon was sighted on trail.These two ladies look as fine as ever. And then there’s King Shit.The Hash Skullet?Strap On did something to deserve this.Maybe this manspreader on the left is the visitor from Vancouver?
It’s that time of year again, when it becomes socially acceptable for people to shamelessly give way to their addiction and lack of restraint: yes indeed, it’s girl guide cookie season again. And King Shit has undoubtedly purchased 10 boxes of Vanilla/Chocolate Creme Cookies, all in the name of encouraging young female entrepreneurship. Our hare OPP acknowledges her shameless plug to peddle her daughter’s product on our website. Bring your money, do your bit.
The hares were so sure of the quality of their trail, they guaran-f*ckn-teed it would make us WET 💦. We were told to bring a change of undergarments.
The hares gave us wood, in fact.
Also, hashers were told that there was a glory hole on trail, which Liquor Lots enjoyed fingering, apparently.
No everyone wanted to get wetThis is what the walkers call “rocking it”.the o’haresIrish down downs
ON ON! PMS
Throwback Monday: PMS, Third Erection, Rhoda Dick (2011)
Hunky Humpy did a great trail Hunky Humpy had a great ale All of the hashers and every hariette Really enjoyed that trail that he set!
Hump the Shark likes to do it everywhere. Sometimes he takes us to the SE (his special lady friend’s stomping grounds) but today he went back to his roots: the En-Dubya.
Some people complained that the driving time to the start of trail he advertised on the Facebook page was misleading and erroneous. At these gas prices, hashers like to plan ahead!!
But weirdly, no one complained that he had us run on an ice rink. Not even Stool Stuffer, who just came back from a month long vacation in Mexico!
Hares: “Sniffle” and “Fever Cheeks” Where: Inglewood Parking Lot, Calgary, AB On-In: The Dirty Duck (the pub formerly known as Swans), Calgary, AB RA: Hardly Attendance: 17
One of our hares had a Covid scare over the weekend but tested negative – twice – and proceeded to set her “farewell Covid” trail. Wouldn’t it have been just her luck? Catching Covid on the last days before March 1st (when Covid magically disappears as per Alberta new health regulations)? Wouldn’t it have SUCKED??!
Reports (by the very objective and impartial hares) are that the trail was GREAT, as featured in this photo they took:
The hares had the pack run through a PG so that hashers could play (not with themselves for once).
Front running bastards (and other early finishers) couldn’t wait to get into the beers so Sucks Everything got his “Slim Jim” out (that’s what she said) and broke into Skewb’s car to get to the regroup beer.
Hardly RA’ed and didn’t miss anyone for down downs. Hash Shits exchanged hands and went from Skewbic Hair and Mucky Dip’s pasty paws to Mmmmh Ladyfingers and Camshaft’s bronzed mitts. It serves them right for rubbing their tan lines in everybody’s face…
Mmmmm Ladyfingers can send you pics of her other tan lines if you ask her nicely.
Everybody (who’s anybody) wore their red “Keep Hashing and Carry On On!” shirt (but some like to be different…. AP!).
even in France!
And then people went to the pub, and there was much rejoicing.
Let’s all sit together and have a chat. What’s the worst that can happen?
Hares: Daisy Deux-ke (what a Cutie Patwotie) Where: Sandy Beach Park – West Access, Calgary, AB T2T 2V2 On-In: Wild Rose Brewing, Calgary, AB Attendance: 22 (no it wasn’t, but let’s just say it was)
Looks like someone cooked the books for this run. Run #2222, on 22/2/22?? What a koinkidenk! The hares planned a run of 2.2+km with a start time of 7:22pm.
What wasn’t pre-planned however, is that the temperature at that time proved 2 be a serendipitous -22°C.
T’was another chilly night in the great white north and only true hashers are committed enough to come out when Weather Canada issues Extreme Cold Warnings.
We had visitors from Canmore, a virgin and wildlife on trail! What else could you ask for?
Hares: Scoobie and the Return of the Dastardly Where: Southland Leisure Centre, Calgary, AB On-In: Swigs Pub & Grill, Calgary, AB Attendance: 10?? That’s it?! RA: Tighty Whitey
Well, well, well. Look what the hare dragged in. If it isn’t Dastardly.
🎵Guess who’s back, back again? Das’dly’s back, tell a friend 🎶
It is fitting that these two BFF’s would get bromantic on V-Day and set trail together, with marks as “special” as their special relationship.
Scoob promised a trail “easy to find, hard to follow”, whatever that means. Although Snevil was heard saying: “There were 4 true trail runners, and [the hares] lost us….”.
Supposedly, lots of preparation went into setting this trail: hares went on and on and ooooon about how it took them 2 ½ hours to set.
Attendance was quite low this week, maybe on account of it being Valentine’s Day?? King Shit posited that attendees included a handful of singletons, two hash couples (the Har-ty and the Skew-ky) and people who have been hashing for sooo long that their partners probably kicked them out of the house (King Shit, Snevil and Tighty Whitey).
We did have a couple of bashers: in true royal fashion, Hash-friendly Kim waved at admirers from her balcony. She was happy to join the pack for post run revelries but she won’t expand any energy going from A to B on anything but a bike or skis.
Another basher was Mucky Dip, who ran from her house at the end of down downs.
The paparazzi, waiting for her Royal Highness Kim
In honour of Valentine’s Day, Hardly and Twisty both went down on trail, but not on each other. It is said that everyone went down on this trail… Lucky trail! It was so slippery that it gave some hashers ideas for a new Olympic event.
Tighty Whitey was RA. He says he was “awesome” (his own words). Yet others said that he handled things hard and fast. It’s all a matter of perspective.
While some f&^%ers were sucking on piña coladas somewhere hot (and rubbing our faces in it), the rest of us were slumming it, not able to travel anywhere – or worse: self isolating on account of the ‘Vid!
But luckily for us, we have the BootyBlower, the hashing Power couple whose trails always offer us a dream and escape from dreary daily drudgery.
For instance, today’s trail basically took the pack all around Texas… kinda…
They gave us hills and viewpoints.
Who needs “Mehico” when we’ve got such a crew of cool cats right here at home?
Mucky Dip, athlete extraordinaire, unfairly punished for being Front Running Harrierette.
Hares: Stool Stuffer (and Rashy Bush) Where: Bumblebee Park, Calgary, AB Attendance: 13
Here’s another hare who is really pulling his weight during this pandemic; he sets more than his fair share of trails. The name of the run is a little dramatic. No, no one is leaving for good. Stoolie (and Rashy) just set the final run in January before fucking off to to Mexico to drink the Corona for a few weeks. Let’s hope they don’t rub it in our face with unending Facebook posts of sunshine, sea and margaritas.
Hashers present: Oozle Pizzle Panties Lying Sack Of Shit King Shit Liquor Lots Hump the Shark Slippy Thong Skewbic Hair Mucky Dip Lay ‘em In Snow Hardly Twisted Sister Stool Stuffer Dastardly
“Hares lie” – Snevil
The hare said only a small portion of the trail was icy and that runners probably wouldn’t need spikes.
TURNS OUT, the trail was 80% pure ice, and spikes were definitely needed . Liquor Lots and Hardly both went down (not on each other) in different parts of the trail. LL even has the war wounds to show for it.
OPP forgot how to use her headlamp so was made fun of for that. Yet somehow, she managed to offload the hash shit that she had since October!
Scooby’s hash shit went to his beautiful wife. She was punished for excessive fraternization with the walkers (pick a side, Mucky!!).
Scooby was only hash shit-less for 2 minutes as he inherited OPP’s, for reasons unclear, other than the fact that we like to punish Scooby.
The hares not only set trail, but also brought the beer for regroup, which they chilled. A real classy move on their part. They also arranged for an On In at 722 World Bier Haus.
Hares: Lay’em in Snow Where: Castle Mountain Resort, ‘berta On In: T-Bar Attendance: 16 RA: Abandoned Pussy, probably
This anal ski trip is an opportunity for the select few who found the golden shower ticket to gather at Castle Mountain, ski during the day and hit the T-Bar.
What happens in Castle stays in Castle, except for the few tales, videos and photos that were leaked on social media. Here is what (we gather and guess) happened:
people skied and bitched about the snow
Hot Cheeks brought the ShotSki out
hashers went into the hot tub
Skewbic Hair stole other hashers’ beers
Lay’em In Snow offered to take people to his secret little babbling brook and be one with nature
hashers stumbled around the parking lot and called it a numbered hash run.
PMS’s outstanding playlists were sorely missed.
On On! PMS (compiler of extraordinary playlists)
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem — The Calgary Hash House Harriers
