Hares: Ménage à Trois, with some minor help from Skewbic Hair
Where: The Royal Exchange, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 25

The run:

The down downs:

On On!
PMS

Thanks to Mmmmmh Ladyfingers for the photos and helpful comments.

Hares: Hot Quicky, Slow Clap & Beer in the Rear
Where: Cold Garden, Calgary, AB
RA: Lying Sack of Shit
Attendance: 22

As everyone knows, July 24th is (US) National Tequila Day. It is unclear why we are celebrating this non-holiday (and a made-up American one at that) but here we are. Maybe it’s ironic, and the harriettes are just mocking it (Sorry. Had to try to explain the run’s title).

Tonight’s weather was reminiscent of hot Mexican summers. Hashers were reminded to hydrate, wear their best Mexican attire, and to be ready for shiggy on trail.

It is said that people got very wet on trail. Was it from the heat? The shiggy? The excitement? Probably all three.

The choir must have had too many tequila shots at the regroup: they decided they only knew ONE SONG, and proceeded to sing it for every single down down (aye-aye-aye-aye, si si senora). (Oh boy, that gets old fast!)

On On!
PMS

Hares: Dastardly & Roaring Nancy
Where: Max Bell Centre, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 24

Mum’s the word on this run. I have to rely on Mmmmmh Ladyfingers photos and comments (and Karate Klit’s photos (minus the half a dozen tongue-sticking selfies)).

Looks like trail included:
– an Edmonton visitor (Eager Peevert)
– returning newbies
– a new boot (Trevor)
– a survivalist’s mobile home displaying some Hash appropriate words of wizz-dumb

On On!
PMS

Hares: Skewbic Hair
Where: South Glenmore Park, Calgary, AB
RA: Roaring Nancy (by the looks of it)
Attendance: 24

It was a chilly one this Monday night. The weather (and Roaring Nancy’s incessant talking) didn’t deter last week’s visitor Keep on Pumping who came back for seconds and even brought someone with him! It is said that “Not Ready” (left) is a hasher who lives in Calgary! Yet we’ve never managed to make him come. He was just Not Ready. Will he come again?

In a nutshell, here are some other things that happened tonight:

Hardly got lost? Or something to that effect. Anyway, we were reminded NOT to follow Hardly.

Hump The Shark got awarded “Best Dressed” (!)

Pull My Woody celebrated his 300th run.

On On!
PMS

Hares: Can Crusher (with probable help from mom AP)
Where: Can Crusher’s Crib, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 18

We had virgins,
And vi-si-tors
At our hash,
At our hash
Had to get them drunked up
Had to get them drunked up
Down the hatch
Down the hatch

This is what our hash mattress told me anyway, not being present myself. Liquor Lots: “We had 5 visitors/new boots today! 2 from Lagos, Nigeria, and their daughter and her spouse who live in Auburn Bay. And one from Barbados. They were all awesome.”

I’m going to take a wild guess as to who was who.

To finish off on a high, here’s a picture posted by Maple, dating back to the 20th century. Regrettably, the most interesting bits have been censored.

On On!
PMS

Hares: Ms Cheeks (Hot) and Ms Pussy (Abandoned)
Hare in absentia: Ms Spanker (involved in no way, shape or form)
Where: Bebo Grove, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 28! A full class

Attendance declines towards the end of the school year and this is true for teachers also; PMS (yours truly) is missing this whole last week (and was therefore also absent at this momentous yearly event).

Luckily Hot Cheeks and AP picked up the slack and hared a short but action-packed trail. They designed a test of people’s ability to cross water and offered no accommodation for vertically challenged people. This resulted in varied impact on the tall and the short.

A new onesie (of shame?) appeared. I’m assuming it was provided by the hares? Alternatively, it may have been provided by Lying Sack of Shit who was spotted wearing it at the beginning of trail.

So, as of Friday:

We got no class (not that we ever do)
And we got no principals (or principles)
And we got no innocence (not anymore)

On On!
PMS

A: Daisy Duke (the hare)
Where: Stonyslope Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: On-In
Attendance: 16

It’s unfortunate that this week’s weather was reminiscent of March weather with its drizzle and single-digit temps. These were not the best conditions to bare your legs and your midriff (in true Daisy Duke fashion). Only 16 hashers showed up and some didn’t even run. There may even have been some “bashers” (Hot*cough*Cheeks).

This allowed for Mucky Dip to be FRB for a while. She’s starting to like the feeling.

Liquor Lots, Slippy Thong and Hot Cheeks were punished for Race-ism as they entered an *actual* race over the weekend. Liquor Lots even proceeded to post about it on the Hash Faceplace Group… If that isn’t a hash-shittable offense, I don’t know what is. Although, in fairness, all the hash shits are sitting in Skoob’s garage so there are none to pass around.

Speaking of FRB… While hashing in New York for their 2000th run, we learned a new acronym: FBI= First Bitch In. ???? Heeeeey, it’s race-ist AND sexist! ????

Roaring Nancy was noted for losing his marbles as he forgot the lyrics to the “S H I T T Y T R A I L” song, even though it is sung – mostly undeservedly – Every. Freaking. Week.

The hare chose his favourite new brewery. It is conveniently located near a barber shop (Omar’s) and a storefront called “Just Barbs” which makes us wonder what it sells. (A quick Google job shows that a missing apostrophe is all it takes to take this place from a hair salon that belongs to Barb to a shop possibly selling barb wire/fish hooks. It is the former.)

Not many tales emanated from this week’s trail, so…

On On!
PMS