Category Archives: Run

A numbered hash run

Run

2304 – Daisy Duke’s Dilatory Delight

Hares: Daisy Duke
Where: Bella Roma Pizza, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 26

Daisy kindly offered to hare tonight’s trail when no one else had stepped up. No details of this trail surfaced until the 11th hour. It turns out it had slipped Daisy’s mind, twice.

The hare did mark his trail on Sunday evening but he ended up having to live hare anyway, as his marked trail got washed away by the last minute downpour.

Trail was lovely. Daisy took us in and out of leafy back alleys. Towards the end, the pack intersected the beginning of the trail and – following the call of beer – completely by-passed the last kilometer.

Archive Rag Head came out of the wood work and brought his whole family with him. Hasher “Not Ready” is clearly “not ready” to hash regularly but he showed up tonight and brought a Sex Convict with him. Sex Convict is – if I remember correctly – visiting from… Lagos, Nigeria?

On On!
PMS

Run

2303 – 9/11 memorial run

Hares: Tighty Whitey
Where: Ogden Boat Launch SE, Calgary, AB
On-In: Ogden Whistle Pub, Calgary, AB
RA: Professor On In
Attendance: 26

[A moment of silence in the memory of those who lost or gave their lives during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, 22 years ago.]


Tighty Whitey regaled us with a wonderfully challenging trail, full of ups and downs, and long check backs that the asshole set On. His. Bike. He claims that it’s not against the rules, but we would ascertain that it is most definitely a “faux pas”, quite literally. (If you do not speak French, “faux pas” means “wrong step”).

To save both time and chalk, the hare made sure only to get off his bike to mark trail every 500 meters or so.

Here is one of the three marks that TW put down for his 7k trail.

New year new rules: in a last ditch effort to assert themselves as upper mismanagement, it was decided at the last meeting that between September and April, down downs would be held inside, at a bar.

Rules are rules, so after the run on Monday, despite unseasonably warm temperatures, some of the group went to the local dive bar for down downs.

Erections are coming soon. The position of scribbler is up for grabs! Claim it before someone else does!

On On!
PMS

Run, Special Event

2302 – HHHHike… Rogers Passsout

Hares: King Shit, et Mr Peeeeeenut
Where: A.O. Wheeler Hut, Glacier National Park
RA: King Shit
Attendance: 14 (including muggles/visitors)

No images have surfaced for this special event.

The trail wove through the demolished foundations of a gand old CP hotel and into the woods to a “meeting of the waters” (whatever that means). A live-but-well-rested hare (Mr Peeeeeeenut) waited in a Muskoka chair with liquid treasures for the hashers to enjoy.

Cock Tale has reported another hasher exposing themself (full back, not full frontal).

Live Hare, Run

2299 – Heroes & Villains Live Hare Gong Show

Hares: Qweft-BG & Liquor Lots
Where: LIQUOR Lots’s Lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 27

Today’s hare was “the man with 6 names“. On top of his civilian name, he goes by “Queer Eye for the Brown Guy”, “Qweft-BG”, “Queef”, “Funny Guy” (A Can Crusher exclusive), and “Liquor Lots’s piece of ass”. For obvious practical purposes, I will stick to Queef.

Queef doesn’t often (or ever) hare in Calgary, but when he does, he makes sure it’s a live hare, in an area he barely knows. (Live haring allowed for more time in bed with Liquor Lots). The deed was done “T2 Style” (Edmonton True Trail style): fast and furious. There were boobs checks, dick checks, some getting wet, much trying to find your way around and someone definitely finished first.

King Shit finished dead fucking last and got assistance from a much younger harriette to get him back up at the end.

Regroup and down downs were held in LL’s back lot where Dastardly celebrated his birthday and provided us with delicious iced treats.

Despite a most lovely trail, some people opted out of running/walking and chose to … bash!! (Gasp!) Lots and lots of excuses:
– Dark Side of the Moon’s excuse was that he was too far away to make it on time.
– AP’s excuse was (what else?) RUGBY
– PMS (yours truly) offered no excuse, but you better be sure that it was a good one.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Batman!
The handsomest choir
The hares
Colonel Unimpressed
Bashers! (the shame)
Happy Birthday, Dastardly!

On On!
PMS

Run

2298 – Northern Exposure

Hares: Pyro
Where: Home Depot Parking lot, Calgary, AB
RA: On In
Attendance: 20

Another Pyro Special. Here are the hash mattress’s tales from trail:

  • 2 archives (or were they visitors? [note from the scribe: archives!]) and a new boot (Chad, Pyro’s neighbour and also an frb/racist*).
  • Dastardly had his 1100th run and downed a large drink of beergarita.
  • Great trail. Tons of ups, tons of downs, lots of near misses (aka tripping and allllmost falling on our faces.

Photos (also from the hash mattress):

RA On In
The New Boot (left), I assume with Insane Bolt.
1100 runs for Dastardly.
Archive Cock Tail (right)

[* the shame! We don’t tolerate race-ism!]

On On!
PMS

Run

2297 – The Hash Survival Run

Hares: Dastardly
Where: Marda Loop Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 24

Run #2297 promised to make us wet and hashers were asked to bring a full change of clothes if they wanted to get wet just below the belt (and above, in Sneve’s case).

This run thrown together at the last minute had a few hills, lots of river crossings and even more playgrounds.

To document this momentous run, we have two types of photographers: Karate Klit and Skewbic Hair. I will let you be the judge of their documentary work.

Skewbic Hair:

Great Composition
Flattering lights
Colors pop
Unadulterated joy, caught candidly
A variety of scenes and terrains
Hot models

And Karate Klit:

Head? Who said head?
There appears to be people in the back?

Looks like everyone had fun though, especially Karate Klit, who let’s face it, must be prelubing heavily before trail (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

On-On!
PMS

Run, Slutty Trail

2296 – Slutfest 9000

Hares: Booty Blower (Booty Camp + Snow Blower)
Where: Evil Corporation Brewing, Calgary, AB
RA: Snevil
Attendance: 16

S-L-U-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
slutty trail (it sucked! – if ya know what I mean)
slutty trail (it blew! – wink wink)

Now this is one run that the scribe is very sorry to be missing. Who doesn’t love a good themed-run? And one themed around sluttiness at that? Come on!

Hashers were asked to dress sluttier than usual for this run. Now of course, most Calgary hashers are pretty slutty to begin with, starting with the hares, of course. Here is a little gallery displaying unprompted sluttiness over the years.

Lust at first sight for these two.
Public fornication: slutty!
Legs spread for a bone? Slutty.
Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball impression? Slutty!!
Red lace lingerie? Slutty!
Leopard print? Slutty!
Red Socks? Slutty!
Legs? Slutty!

For this run, some (few) people made an effort:

Daisy Duke. (Though this is a pretty standard outfit for him.)
50% of the hares made an effort.
Is this birthday hat supposed to be slutty?
Valiant effort
(it sure ain’t)

While most remained very conservative (boring!):

Look at this boring lot!

Snevil RA’ed. It’s only fitting as Down Down took place in her office (Evil Corporation Brewing).

On On!
PMS

Run

2295 – How Deep?

Hares: Ménage à Trois, with some minor help from Skewbic Hair
Where: The Royal Exchange, Calgary, AB
RA: On In?
Attendance: 25

The run:

Deer, oh deer.

The down downs:

The hares
Insane Bolt thinks he’s a hash god (as per shorts).
Ottawa visitor Neon Stripper
The choir
1300 runs for Blue Balls
Rashy “I ran 200 runs and all I got was this shitty shirt” Bush.
Not Ready took his shoes and socks off to cross the river. What a wimp!

On On!
PMS

Thanks to Mmmmmh Ladyfingers for the photos and helpful comments.

Run

2294 – Tequila-mocking bird(s)

Hares: Hot Quicky, Slow Clap & Beer in the Rear
Where: Cold Garden, Calgary, AB
RA: Lying Sack of Shit
Attendance: 22

As everyone knows, July 24th is (US) National Tequila Day. It is unclear why we are celebrating this non-holiday (and a made-up American one at that) but here we are. Maybe it’s ironic, and the harriettes are just mocking it (Sorry. Had to try to explain the run’s title).

Tonight’s weather was reminiscent of hot Mexican summers. Hashers were reminded to hydrate, wear their best Mexican attire, and to be ready for shiggy on trail.

It is said that people got very wet on trail. Was it from the heat? The shiggy? The excitement? Probably all three.

The Heat
The Shiggy
The Excitement
Hashers were encouraged to go for a quick dip. Just the tip.
Tequila at the regroup.
Camshaft showing us his rindy yellows (in lieu of pearly whites).
Mexican attire.
Shiny Happy People.

The choir must have had too many tequila shots at the regroup: they decided they only knew ONE SONG, and proceeded to sing it for every single down down (aye-aye-aye-aye, si si senora). (Oh boy, that gets old fast!)

On On!
PMS